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It's not the Vauxhall plant - Dave's got a new lappie[^] 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Please join me in remembering another great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumtic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dill Dough, plus they had one in the oven. Service were held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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That's the first obituary I've upvoted. 
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But wasn't he convicted of perpetuating a terrible scam? I believe the courts referred to him as the Con Dough.
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All those children?
He must have had some serious Dough Nuts.
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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It wasn't that synthetic yeast was it? We'll be inundated with stories of Frankenyeast for months!
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To be quite honest, I dough nut know if I find that interesting at all... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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See Above
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Ignore him - he's just trying to get a rise out of you...
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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How dedicated are you to your friendly local fast food/takeaway 'restaurant'?
Well obviously these folks were absolutely lovin' it! Dare I say they ordered a happy meal with extra happy. Not that I am stalling my story around the committed in relationship to chattin' up a girl with your slip charm.
McD elicious[^] 
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Yes, on Vincent Van Gogh's birthday: [^].
I'm both excited, nervous, and scared, about this important day: feeling kind of torn between wanting to hyperventilate while screaming with joy until I turn hoarse, or spend the day in the foetal position in a closet, brooding while sucking on my pacifier, and thinking about conspiracies.
Maybe I'll go on YouTube and look at Steve Ballmer videos ?
But, I'll start this very special day, as usual, with a little warm-up with my soul-brother, Amza: [^].
“Use the word 'cybernetics,' Norbert, because nobody knows what it means. This will always put you at an advantage in arguments.” Claude Shannon (Information Theory scientist): letter to Norbert Weiner of M.I.T., circa 1940
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I may do something and I may not.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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I think all quantum physicists are bi-polar, "I have measured, and I have not measured, all depending on whom you ask". 
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I'm going to sing "The Grand Old Duke of York".
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I plan to be SoSad 
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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I'm going to spend it transporting ursines between the arctic and antarctic regions.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I've always thought that the word "bi-polar" was a particularly stupid one.
Ye cannae change the laws of Physics, Capt'n. There can be only bi-polar (so really you've got either polar or not).
Monopoles are only conjectural/theoretical*, for use when playing with numbers, anyway, and even the worst Sheldon amongst us wouldn't try for tri-or-higher-polar.
* Don't believe any bollocks you read about synthetic magnetic monopoles; they're just lumps of matter dumped into regions of external magnetic fields, with all kind of tweaks applied to make them look like magnetic monopoles.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'll celebrate bipolar junctions.
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I don't know, but the day will have its ups and downs.
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Oh, I don't know. A bit o this and that.
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Just wanted to let everyone know I'm back. The world can resume now.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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Nice to see you again. Please don't post any more baby jokes 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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SoMad wrote: Please don't post any more baby jokes
FTFY
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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In the backwoods of Canada in a shack with no electricity, a man's wife went into labour in the middle of the night. The local doctor was summoned to help with the delivery.
The doctor gave the nervous father-to-be a lantern to hold, partly to keep him occupied and partly so that he could see what he was doing.
After a few minutes, a baby boy was born and the husband put down the lantern to hold her.
"Don't put that lantern down just yet," said the doctor. "I think there's another one on the way."
Shortly afterwards, a baby daughter was born and the husband put down the lantern to hold her.
"Don't put the lantern down yet," said the doctor. "I think there may be another one still to come."
Sure enough, a few minutes later, another baby girl was born.
The father scratched his head and said to the doctor: "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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