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Marvelous! Now I know what to do the next time I find myself with a spare 50 grand in my pocket!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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What? Next pay day? 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I've suffered multiple times, and I'm curious to learn how others dealt with it. Recovery programs? Medication? Change of profession? Change of attitude? Shrink sessions?
I should have switched profession a long time ago, but my biggest passion is still software development, and it is hard to give it up. I now have permanent damage to my nervous system. Any kind of mental effort makes me tired very quickly, and my mind is constantly "cloudy" without ability to think very clearly. Add to this the phantom sensations of ants running over my forehead and similar nerve issues. I have lived with this for 10 years.
First time it happened I took three months off. Second time I needed 9 months of professional rehabilitation. In those days I worked for a consultant company, no surprise. Nowadays I run my own one man show, pretty much doing what ever I please each day, but I still keep running into the ground, so this affliction never seems to go away.
Sorry about the depressing topic, and I'm not looking for sympathy, on the balance I have a very good life. But I am curious how other people have dealt with this. I'm sure it is more common than most people think.
Bjorn
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I work mainly as a consultant and that keeps me busy on a wide variety of projects, so I don't get burnt out these days. Before, when I was working as an employee, I had to change jobs every year or two (often inside the company) or I'd get to the point where I found other work.
I sympathize with you. I don't think I could go back to working as a normal employee again. Ever. I need the challenge of new things to keep myself motivated.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E.
Comport Computing
Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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Walt Fair, Jr. wrote: I don't think I could go back to working as a normal employee again. Ever.
Agreed, and not just for the changing landscape of challenges, but also because I find I can avoid the majority of politics and useless meetings. And also because I can choose my working hours and environment to maximize productivity rather than be a servant of the clock, the boss, and the cubicle walls.
Marc
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Well, choosing your working hours, etc. is a side benefit, but I found out the old saying is true: When you work for a company, you have one boss. When you work for yourself, every client is your boss.
I can usually prioritize things and work around other activities, like going out with the wife in the middle of the day, etc. I can also get some work done late at night if I want, or take a long weekend off if I can schedule it.
I also keep plenty of variety in my work. I don't multitask well, but I set aside blocks of time to work on various projects. That also keeps me from getting bored, burnt out, etc. And it's surprising, often I come up with the solution to one project while working on another one.
Another thing I do is set aside several hours each week to "investigate." Maybe I'll pull out an old problem I never solved and work or think about it for half a day. Or perhaps go to the library and browse topics of interest. No specific goals, just to learn something and maybe advance myself a little. So far I've always found a direct use for everything I spent time on, so it has never been a waste of time.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E.
Comport Computing
Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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It feels like it once in a while, but I usually find something to get me back in the game.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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Luckily I don't have your problem, I can handle stress pretty well. I wouldn't even say I know the meaning of that word.
For me it's just a matter of putting things in perspective and knowing when to quit. Sometimes you just have to say "I'm not going to make this deadline", even if you could when working around the clock.
So what's going to happen if that customer doesn't get his software next week? They haven't had it in the past fifty years, so they'll manage. Of course you'll always have to do your very best for every (paying) customer, just not at the expense of your own health. And in that matter some people can take more than others. And customers rather wait another week for their software than another nine months, I can tell you that 
I guess prevention is better than the cure. But you probably knew that already.
It's an OO world.
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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Have you thought of trying that[^]?!
It's helping me with all sort of strange chronic conditions... 
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I was going to say something about keeping a toilet roll in the freezer, but on reflection I decided not to.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Hi Bjorn, I'm really sorry to hear about your condition. I assume you've gotten a thorough neurological examination ? A medical diagnosis of what's going on with you ? While stress-related "burn-out" definitely has a variety of possible neurological, cognitive, and behavioral, side-effects, what you describe sounds more like a clinical medical syndrome.
best wishes for your health, and peace of mind, Bill
“I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: They amount to 14.” Abd-Ar Rahman III, Caliph of Cordoba, circa 950CE.
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Thanks Bill.
Yea I have. I've also suffered from migraines since I was a teenager, and they did several detailed studies (CAT scans, etc). So my problem is neurological in general. Now at 47 yrs luckily my migraines have almost gone away, but the burnout symptoms unfortunately have become chronic.
It is possible there is an underlying cause for all this that can be found, some kind of chemical imbalance or similar, but it seems that doctors aren't skilled enough to find it. I do regular health checks and the numbers are always really good. Officially I am a really healthy subject, but that's certainly not how it feels.
One thing that I lack is the ability to see when I push myself too hard, and that is probably what got me into this mess. There is no alarm in my body that goes off and makes me take a step back. When it comes to mental tasks its very subjective, so how can you know if you really reached your limit? But when I started measuring my heart rate while doing my usual cardio training, it turns out that I spend a great deal of time at heart rates that other people find intolerable. Those heart rates (+90% of HRmax) reliably lead to injury or general damage to the body.
I always thought I was a high performer, above average in most things I do, when it turns out I'm probably of average intelligence and physique, but with an ability to push myself way beyond what is healthy. However, just telling myself to "take it easy" doesnt seem to matter anymore.
Bjorn
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Look up Rudyard Kipling's "Hymn of Breaking Strain". Everyone will break, if subjected to enough stress. The amount we each can tolerate is different, and it doesn't seem to matter whether it's self-inflicted or from the environment. Most think we're above average, half of us aren't.
Maybe also read / listen to "Undoing Depression" by Cr. Richard Conner. The book is as much about sudden and chronic stress as it is about anything else.
One thing I noticed when doing Cardio with a desired heart rate, was that when I listened to good comedy, or watched BlackAdder, the machine would have to dial up the resistance 10-20% to get my heart rate to 130.
Quite literally, when my stress went down, I got more work done.
It might not feel productive to go for a half hour walk instead of spending that time bashing away at an intractable problem, but do it.
I've recently come out the other side of a 3 year long stressful (toxic co-worker) situation. It wasn't just the 3 years lost, it probably shortened my life by an additional year or two. Never again.
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Thanks Randy, will look up that stuff!
Bjorn
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once you have experienced it, I think you can see it coming - my philosophy is that life's too short to make yourself ill for "the man" - so I've always kind of stopped stressing once the stress levels become high.
Easy to say - not easy to do. I get worked up and stressed at the office, & don't have another job to go to at present, so I just try to make sure I don't let it go too far. take a day off here and there, and just chill.
Long ago a consultant on a project I was involved in (as an external resource, fortunately) suffered a lot of stress, and was found on top of the building, in the middle of the night, howling at the moon.
I decided then that I wasn't being paid enough to let that happen to me!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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I had a major melt down years ago and I just walked away from a high paying prestigious job and started working in the construction field. Working outside and with my hands was very therapeutic!
I still do programming but I may get hot on a project and spend night and day on it for anywhere from a week to a couple of months then I may not touch it for months. Last time I opened VS2010 was about a year ago, I also love embedded and haven't touched it in about 6 months.
I have to admit though one of the reasons I've been so lax at programming is I've been traveling a lot and am a budding photographer and spend a lot of time with that.
I learned a long time ago; "If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting"
Good luck Bjorn
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Mike Hankey wrote: I learned a long time ago; "If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting"
That's one of the problems really - you get used to it, so you don't notice how much stress you are under until either you crack or are forced away from the source by other events. And because you are "coping" and doing the work you get more pressure put on you...
I've never burnt out, but I didn't really how much stress I was working under all the time until I was forced not to work for four years by an accident. Now I monitor how much I'm doing and I am pretty much stress free. As a result, I gave up smoking, and hardly drink at all - where I was a 20~30 a day / wine box a night person when I was working for others.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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One of the reason for my leaving programming was that I was going through a VERY rough divorce and I thought if I gotta start over with nothing then I'm going to try to start out without the stress of the job. It still took me another 8 years to totally get away from my ex.
About 4 years ago I just quit drinking, rarely drink now and quit smoking, also stopped chasing fat girls. 
Been a long road but I don't worry about much any more and live a fairly stress free life. I always knew I was a bit of a loner but in the past few years have become self sufficient and prefer to be alone.
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Mike Hankey wrote: also stopped chasing fat girls
I never started: always worried I might catch 'em, and then what?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: I never started: always worried I might catch 'em, and then what?
I was always to drunk to catch them so didn't worry about that.
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Oooh! Beer goggles![^] Nasty... 
That's...bad news...very bad news[^] (NSF anyone with a working oesophagus  )
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Beer goggles, makes a butt disappear don' it? 
It's amazing how much better they look after a 12 pack.
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Amen brother, still got both arms though.
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Mike Hankey wrote: It's amazing how much better they look after a 12 pack.
I was going to say after 12 o'clock. Then again that would have been after a 12 pack.
They all look better at closing time. 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
I would agree with you but then we both would be wrong.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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