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R. Giskard Reventlov wrote: [Edit: "holistic synergy application development"?]
Does it come with incense and free massages?
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At last a methodology with a happy ending.
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no, but you get free sausages. 
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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I suggest clustered elephant development.
Because elephants never forget anything and a cluster looks like a meeting; and that'll help get PHB buyin. 
Thinking about this a little more, cluster also has the scent of cloud computing on it; so we'd be buzzword compliant from the start. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
modified 27-Jul-16 9:00am.
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That's like "sensible gun laws". They're only sensible to the people that make them up.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I suggest Rapid Clusterfuck Development?
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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I have written an article about the topic of the thread but can't decide if I should post it or not. Hmm.
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Might better be a soapbox item.  
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Haha: no, it's not quite as whimsical as this thread!
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Because - and I may have said this before - "Agile" is a team management process, not a software development process. When it is explicitly used as a software development process it doesn't work...but nor should it, because that is not what it is for.
Then, of course, we have airline magazine articles from the weavers of the fog like:
"Agile for distributed development teams"
"Agile for the enterprise"
etc. that just compound the madness.
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Duncan Edwards Jones wrote: "Agile" is a team management process, not a software development process.
Thank you. 
It amazes me how otherwise reasonably intelligent persons think you can somehow slap on an agile process to a dev team and magically solve its woes. If your company doesn't operate in an agile manner, don't waste your time trying this.
/ravi
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Ravi Bhavnani wrote: If your company doesn't operate in an agile manner, don't waste your time trying this.
BINGO! DING! DING! DING! DING! ...
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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TheGreatAndPowerfulOz wrote: BINGO! DING! DING! DING! DING! ...
Heh. 
In my previous and current lives, it was the CEO who decided that we (the company as a whole) would operate in an agile fashion. We had to take the time to educate the entire workforce before this happened. I ![Heart | [heart]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/love.gif) working in small early-stage companies where a large percentage of management is technically competent. As a developer, I rarely have to explain or dumb down things to management. Or beg for better hardware or tools.
/ravi
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So, you've got waterfall development, which was intended to be a joke. You've got agile development, which, as Duncan points out, is not about development but about team management.
And this is the best, after some 60+ years of software development, that we have to offer as a methodology for software development?
Wow, that just is pathetic.
Time to write an article.
Marc
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Why not join my "holistic synergy application development" methodology symposium and come up with the next big thing?
Like a system that works...
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I prefer the caveman coding method, where everyone sits around a fire and codes naked, and every time someone reaches a milestone or solves a particularly nasty coding problem, he (or she) stands up and proceeds to dance around said fire singing songs of their success, while everyone else sits and drinks themselves into a stupor.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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If you let go of the nakedness and the fire (in some cases), that's exactly how certain workplaces handle software development. 
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I think that, in my experience, the best system is the solo developer or very small group - the question is how to scale that up to corporate ambition. Low impedance methodologies like "micro service architectures" help.
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Because it's too darn slooowww!!!
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When you have nothing, Agile does works, though so does most anything. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long for management to realize that Agile makes for lots of bureaucracy and then it turns to hell.
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In my experience, for a large percentage of business and web development, the core tenets of the Agile Manifesto tend to work well: have end users in the loop from the beginning, and develop iteratively.
In practice, though, I've seen teams become obsessed the artifacts of Agile Methodologies®™. A lot of emphasis is often placed on doing things like writing all use cases as user stories, doing daily interrogations standups, doing one-week sprints, etc. etc. None of those are bad things per se, but for some reason dev teams and PMs become slaves to a specific process and forget about the core philisophy: start small, develop iteratively, and show your work to users frequently to make sure you're actually doing the right thing.
To pick on a specific Agile Methodology®™, I think that Scrum uses some infantile language that makes dev teams seem unprofessional and reduces their status within an organization. From experience, I know that when I worked in accounting, we often followed "Agile" principles: breaking big tasks down into smaller tasks, having acceptance criteria for tasks, having occasional 'retrospective' meetings to discuss process improvements, showing in-process work to the 'customer' (i.e. accounting manager or CFO), etc. But you'd never catch anyone in accounting sitting around talking about stories, story points, epics, sprints, or anything similar...because we'd probably be laughed at. I think dev teams only hurt themselves when using new names to describe things that already have good terms to describe them.
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Ryan Peden wrote: I think that Scrum uses some infantile language
Something of a general pattern in many open source projects. 
Marc
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Because we HATE exercise. Show me any person that can actually sprint for 2 weeks at a time!
Hogan
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I wonder whether really so many programmers hate agile methods. The hypes might get on everybody's nerves, including the scrum hype.
However, few people complain about discussing problems or defining requirements and acceptance criteria once in two weeks or another fixed period of time. And this is what agile methods are all about.
By the way, who says that end users are always included in the process? They might not even understand the requirements and tasks.
modified 27-Jul-16 10:07am.
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I think it's better to just ignore it, rather than hate it. Pretend your doing it, instead of actually doing it. Nobody will know the difference as long as you hand in your work on time.
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