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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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What do you call eyes with no eyes?
.
Jeremy Falcon
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Are you sure you don't mean a deer? Or is your girlfriend blind? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Well spotted, sir! 
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It doesn't matter if they are left legs or right legs - deer are bambidextrous
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Thanks, Man! That's where I left Thor's Helmet!
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Stupid Joke Of The Day
Are you cold?
Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
Isn't that a Acute joke?
I'll get my coat and show myself out
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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My reflex tells me it aint acute one.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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Now you're just being obtuse!
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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It was just a reflex reaction
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
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My angle is bigger than yours!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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xkcd: Startup Opportunity[^]
I've found myself in situations like that a few times...
"This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedivere. Explain to me again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes"
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I'm working on an article based on some stuff I did for work, and I had a rather unique problem to resolve.
The code (at work) uses a control from a commercial WPF control library. I went searching for a free control that did the same thing as the commercial control, and found one, but it sucked so bad that it was unusable. There's even an article about it here on CP, and believe me when I say that I'm exercising all the restraint I can muster not to leave a message for the author telling him how utterly unusable his code is.
That situation left me with nothing but commercial libraries to deal with, such as Telerik, DevExpress, ComponentOne, and others. Whether you've noticed it or not, articles posted on CP that feature/use commercial libraries are generally poorly received, because the application cannot be compiled without the correct and appropriate library assemblies being included in the project.
So, in the interest of trying to support as wide a code base as possible, I architected the article code so that adoption of the programmers chosen control library is as painless as possible.
All library-specific changes are limited to just three small files in a single assembly, and declaring a compiler directive in the assembly's Build properties, and all of the core code in the article's application can remain un-touched as a result.
I think I've restarted the code for the article more than half a dozen times, and refactored the final version twice so far, just to address these concerns. Each restart, and each refactor is the result of trying to write the article, and tripping over code I wrote that imposed seemingly arbitrary requirements that pissed me off as a developer.
100 points will not be enough for this article...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: WPF control library
Glad it was WPF. Then I know it's not one of my controls you're bitching about... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Well, I was actually going to include adoption of the free control along with the commercial libraries, but it's essentially crap.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: but it's essentially crap.
Yet another proof that it was no control of mine... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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You could do better, you could fix the article (and the code) of the free control. 
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That would take a lot longer than just insulting the author...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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And you'd only have a fraction of the fun...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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But wouldn't fixing it be the perfect insult? 
[EDIT] Just remembered: were you in LA a few nights ago? Saw a tricked out Mustang with Texas plates on the 101. The plate was: <heart> 2 RACE. Had to be you...
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John doesn't have a heart. He is actually an android race car driver, who likes to beat up bad article writers.
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Slacker007 wrote: He is actually an android race car driver
He sure as f*** wouldn't be an IOS race driver.
Software Zen: delete this;
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