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Hi All,
I will be leaving the pub shortly (I hope) and am battling with Capitas Security Watchdog, a less pro outfit I have not dealt with before. Complained to the person I am in contact with at the firm, I have a feeling that heads will end on sticks. But there was a tradition of answering telephones, all the numbers I have dealt with have a robot answering them and to try to ask a quick question to a human is impossible! I am starting to feel like the lone survivor of an apocolypse, trying to get hold of a human voice! 
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What? Why are you brawling with some security gorillas?
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It's the current thing you might end up doing something security related...I have worked on air traffic control and simulators for the F-35/Carrier combo so working on a video system for motorways should less security controlled, but no....
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Ahh, ok. Without any context, your first post sounded more like you were preparing to fight your way out of a bar that's under siege by some security goons. 
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Nooo, Capita was a part of the UK's goverment that had a few issues and was lumped together and privatised a PLC as that is the route to solve all problems...Oh the InThePub monicker was due to the estimed CP fellow Nagy...
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Not quite - it was formed as part of the Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy and later underwent a management buyout. It has taken over many of the government IT functions as a result of outsourcing agreements. I worked for them for a shot time at the Criminal Records Agency in Liverpool.
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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Ahhh, but I was not too far off with a bit o' goverment privatised then...
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Never dealt with them, but they are based in Alton and (from when I lived there many years ago) there are a lot of very dumb people in the town. Maybe related to the large number of pubs for the population size... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I dont really blame Capita it's just the attiutde of 'Oh Do it on line' which is fine if the online systems will let you, or your problem is addressed if it's not, you are stuffed! with these systems it is so hard to get to a human who can select the right check box and make the problem go away, the same with my Dad and the eye hospital go probing on the website and you can't make the choice needed phone a number and you are told that the mail box is full...
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I know from experience that some IVR systems are purposefully designed to send you in circles until you give up and hang up. A previous employer actually did that for phone calls coming from a client that they no longer wanted.
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
Meus ratio ex fortis machina. Simplicitatis de formae ac munus. -Foothill, 2016
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glennPattonInThePubAGAIN wrote: and to try to ask a quick question to a human is impossible!
I have found that swearing up a storm when it says "or you can speak your answer" (assuming it's not just a push-the-button robot) works quite well. 
Particularly the "I'm sorry, I could not understand your answer. Transferring you to an operator."
The whole idea of a robot saying "I" is so absurd.
Marc
Latest Article - Create a Dockerized Python Fiddle Web App
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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I always get the feeling that the system is there so people in the office just look at the phones rather than answer them... The robots I was dealing with were the push the button type, when I have to deal with a speak your answer type I will follow your advise and shame a Long Shoreman. The robot I have deal with today are pointless the numbers were awkward to find a robot to answer them is stupid...
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lol of course, we don't have that in CP yet. But just saying in general. It's sooo time saving.
As I try to figure out things on a portal, I see on the bottom right an execute is readily available to chat with a green "LED" on. And in moments I get the answer. (And they are not bots).
Thank god customer support evolved. I disliked the IVRs to the core. 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy.
modified 21-Jul-17 6:27am.
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Vunic wrote: And they are not bots
Are you sure?
Marc
Latest Article - Create a Dockerized Python Fiddle Web App
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Marc Clifton wrote: Are you sure?
I'm sure because it definitely didn't sound like us here in lounge. 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy.
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My experience with live chat is
1. Click "start a chat" and prepare myself for disappointment
2. Wait. A long time
3. Get a form greeting, and quickly say "hi" back.
4. Wait. A long time
5. Get a "how can we help". Type my question quickly
6. Wait. A long time
6. Get a "Sure! I can help you with that"
7. Wait. A really long time
8. Get a form answer that's not related to my question. Answer back immediately explaining their response is inappropriate
9. Wait. A long time
and on it goes. Occasionally someone actually provides good info, but a live chat that should take under a minute stretches out to over quarter of an hour.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Quote: Microsoft Corp reported better-than-expected quarterly profit and revenue on Thursday, helped by strong performance in its fast-growing cloud business
I love it when capitalists succeed!
Microsoft's quarterly profit more than doubles[^]
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Cornelius Henning wrote: I love it when capitalists succeed!
Only when I happen to be one of the capitalists, not when they come to round up all the dumb sheep to pay for it.
But, as I heard from a Ferengi, we should not want to put an end to exploitation. Follow the rules of aquisition and maybe we will all be exploiters ourselves one day.
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I should tell you, Azure is starting to get truly awesome. No wonder MS is jumping back to business. Some of the services are a bit too expensive though, looks like they are aimed at corporates.
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy.
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Over the cloud hype the may ferget their Windows customers some day. 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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I hope so. That would be a real push for competitor OSs. It may spark a new era of research lime the first '90s which would be a boon for our professions.
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
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Isn't that happening already?
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Yes it is. Currently I have *many* people within my friends and colleagues who are desperately searching for an desktop alternative to windows.
But as it comes to private area, the only reason, why windows is still in use by most of those people is: Games.
No platform has such a broad support like DirectX / Steam & Co.
No console guys. MMO guys.
Personally, I gave a big hope to RemixOS or any other Android-for-desktop alternative that might arise, but it seems it won't happen in the near future.
I use windows only for gaming too (at home). For organisation I have my Chromebook which does everything I need.
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I would have to add my code and projects to the list, but I'm already moving away forom Windows and .Net. They jumped the shark some time after Vista and .Net framework 3 and I have little hope that this will get any better anymore.
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