|
He was coal black and got him for a steel!
I may not be that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart
I forgot where I was going with this but I do know I love bacon!
|
|
|
|
|
I assume you were hammered at the time. Anvil you have him fixed?
|
|
|
|
|
I've decided to call him coke and his hair is so long I have to fan him.
I may not be that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart
I forgot where I was going with this but I do know I love bacon!
|
|
|
|
|
Mightn't your neighbors complain about the noise of the bellows?
|
|
|
|
|
That sounds like my dog Bacchus, who looks a lot like this[^].
He's named for the Greek and Roman god of, er, whine (he doesn't bark).
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
If a Forklift could lift forks, how many forks would a forklift lift?
The best way to improve Windows is run it on a Mac.
The best way to bring a Mac to its knees is to run Windows on it.
~ my brother Jeff
|
|
|
|
|
That would be gross. Waaay more than gross actually.
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
|
|
|
|
|
Well... It depends on if they are coloured forks or if they are "Modern" and touch activated forks which, of course, is very important if you plan on using forks in your smartphone environment.
iForks will soon be available for IOS devices.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
|
|
|
|
|
Indeed, of the price one pays for the iPhone, "iFork" over $$ came about at the same time the orig iPhone did... and now iFork over 2x times that these days... 
The best way to improve Windows is run it on a Mac.
The best way to bring a Mac to its knees is to run Windows on it.
~ my brother Jeff
|
|
|
|
|
Ask a woodchuck if a woodchuck could...
I may not be that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart
I forgot where I was going with this but I do know I love bacon!
|
|
|
|
|
It would lift at least one other forklift click
|
|
|
|
|
I see your forklifts and raise you cranes[^]
|
|
|
|
|
Indeed, the crane seems key; just don't get cranekey about accepting defeat.
The best way to improve Windows is run it on a Mac.
The best way to bring a Mac to its knees is to run Windows on it.
~ my brother Jeff
|
|
|
|
|
Forkin' loads.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
Whatever the number, it would really be forked up.
A real forking shame, that.*
* UK Syntax
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
I'll send you my doctor's bill... I've broken my tongue...
|
|
|
|
|
Firth of fifth, I suppose.
|
|
|
|
|
I had this email in my inbox this morning - the subject read as follows: Quote: CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE BEEN AWARD A LUMP!!!
and Quote:
We are pleased to inform you of the result that just concluded annual final draws held on the (October 13th 2018) by the Facebook Group in cash promotion to encourage the usage of Facebook World Wide,And your name was among the 20 lucky winners who won $3,000,000.00 USD (Three Million United States Dollars Only) each on the Facebook Group Promotion Award attached to Lucky Number (23456895718),Ticket Number (4647600564789),Batch Number (255123/8872/244) & Serial Number (4637434551907).
Now, if only I had a Facebook account that uses the email address they targeted!
Keep your friends close. Keep Kill your enemies closer.
The End
|
|
|
|
|
I got the same email (with the same numbers), and I don't even have a farcebook account. 
You're too late, though - I already claimed the winnings.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
|
|
|
|
|
R. Giskard Reventlov wrote: A LUMP
Lump? What Lump?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
|
|
|
|
|
Awarded a Lump?
Where?
On the head?
|
|
|
|
|
Not Awarded a Lump, He HAS BEEN the Award-A-Lump
modified 20-Oct-19 21:02pm.
|
|
|
|
|
I knew these guys could give you heartache, but I didn't realize they could give you a possible tumour...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
Sounds like you need to create an(other?) fArseBook account using that email to claim your early retirement.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
|
|
|
|
|
Do musical instrument makers need to stamp out violins in the workplace?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
