The Lounge - CodeProject

No. But I bet if you go to her place, she won't be home.

"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal

You are overreacting. While the person may be not tech-savy, this is still a mature functioning human being. Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults. Give all the facts (like you did) and expect the person to think about the situation and make a decision.

Separate technology from sociology.

Member 9167057 wrote:
Treat an adult like you're supposed to treat adults

Like having the courtesy of letting them know you won't be able to make an appointment with them within the next 2+ week window they've given you? Yeah, I agree with you.

Member 9167057 wrote:
Separate technology from sociology.

I do, and have long concluded that people suck.

I have read much of the thread (but not all of it). So it can be that you mentioned it already but perhaps that person is waiting for YOU to contact her. You are the specialist in her eyes so she doesn't want to bother you with "is it ready yet"-messages. Perhaps she misunderstood you when you said to call you when she had the time to finish the installation. People are not used to that kind of service any more Smile | :)

So instead of getting all frustrated, talk to her. This must the unique, once in a lifetime case where person A said something and person B misunderstood. Since you are a computer guy, you know that never ever happens. Cool | :cool:

There's always that possibility, but I had made it pretty clear to her I was gonna wait for her call, and--I forget her exact words, but her response indicated she understood.

Then stop being angry and wait for said call. Or not. The thing is, why on earth do you think that you have to stand-by and jump up the moment the call comes? You're the one making trouble here, not her.

Here's how to solve this properly: Go on with whatever you're doing usually. When she calls, you still can look into your calendar and see when you have time. When she calls and asks questions on the phone, you still have the possibility to POLITELY decline if you're busy at the moment of the call.

Or maybe, just maybe, she figured stuff out. Maybe, just maybe, she knows that you don't owe her anything and doesn't want to bother you unless she really needs to.

Think about it, you're turning her not wanting to bother you into something negative. Why are you doing that?

Member 9167057 wrote:
Then stop being angry and wait for said call.

That's all I've been doing all along.

Member 9167057 wrote:
The thing is, why on earth do you think that you have to stand-by and jump up the moment the call comes?

I have the annoying habit of going out of my way to be accommodating towards others who ask for my help. I like to help people solve their problems as soon as they ask for it. The first part's done, we got her that laptop; the next part is completing its setup, which has to be done at her place. I'm being left hanging.

Member 9167057 wrote:
Or maybe, just maybe, she figured stuff out. Maybe, just maybe, she knows that you don't owe her anything and doesn't want to bother you unless she really needs to.

Have you missed the part where I said I still have the laptop with me? It makes no sense to purchase a laptop and leave it with the guy who helped you picking it out. I simply want to get rid of it. If she had it, then I'd have no reason whatsoever to care.

Member 9167057 wrote:
Think about it, you're turning her not wanting to bother you into something negative. Why are you doing that?

The negativity comes from the fact that I can't complete the work she needs me to do. I had the time over the holidays - right now, not so much. Can you not see why this can turn into a point of frustration?

No, I can't see how this is turning into any frustration. You owe her nothing. Literally nothing. The way you're acting, you seem to expect her to call you anytime yelling at you, asking for you to do her bidding RIGHT FRIGGIN' NOW (or maybe next Saturday at 4 in the morning) and you seem to feel obliged to follow her bidding.

Again, you owe her nothing. Just put her laptop someplace (I don't believe that your place is so small, the space taken is the reason for frustration) and when she calls, talk to her like an adult human. When she asks you to do it RIGHT NOW, reply that you had time, she missed the window of opportunity and you have time to do that at [insert your preferred time here]. But she may just as well call and ask you when you'd have time, then you still can reply politely with a suggestion.

You're still making a problem where there's none. OMFG, there's someone else's laptop sitting on your shelf collecting dust. That's the only real issue there is in this situation. The rest is your own creation. Your habit to go out of your way to do stuff for others is the source of your frustration. Don't. Just don't. See it this way: If she really needed this all sorted out sooner than later, she would have called you. But she hasn't so she doesn't. But it's HER who needs help sorting things out, not you. If she doesn't need it sorted out, why do you even care?

You're not being left hanging. You're not waiting for anyone to do anything for you. You can just go on with your life as you did before. You don't have to wait for her call, you don't have to stand by pretending you're a firefighter. Just live on. When she calls, make an appointment when you have time. I repeat, when YOU have time, not her.

To put it in nerd speak, don't keep this whole topic paged in all the time. Page it out. Move the page file into a tape deck and archive the tape at the far away corner of the data center. Only when the topic is called for, then it makes sense to recall the page file from the tape and page the memory in. until then, keep it paged out, archived. Forget about it. Literally forget about it.

Well, that's unless you change places. When you move, then it would be rather polite to call her and ask WTF you're supposed to do with the laptop sitting on your shelf 3 years.

Or do it my way - I stopped doing family and friends support as soon as my oldest son built his first PC; he's the support person now. I only work on my machines, and my wife's if necessary; everybody else gets referred to my son.

<a href="https://www.codeproject.com/Lounge.aspx?msg=5585956#xx5585956xx">Reply</a> ain't directed at your particularly, but it very much applies.

Member 9167057 wrote:
you seem to expect her to call you anytime yelling at you, asking for you to do her bidding RIGHT FRIGGIN' NOW (or maybe next Saturday at 4 in the morning) and you seem to feel obliged to follow her bidding.

That's probably what's stressing me out. Based on past (and very real) experience, some people have no problem leaving me hanging for however long it suits them, but the instant they decide something needs to be done, then they feel I should be making it a priority. Hey, I've "had this long to prepare for it", apparently.

Some people need to learn to say no. I fully admit I'm one of them.

Maybe doing what I'm doing will suit you better than your current attitude. I usually am a helpful person, when someone asks me for help, I reply. Be it about technical stuff or anything else (separating technology from sociology). When it's something small and I have a couple moments (which I usually have), that's not an issue. If it's something bigger, I reply with "Look, that'll take time, I'm busy ATM. I can call you in 3 days at 15:30, then I'll have plenty of time." Something like that. When the person is a functioning mature human, they understand.

The moment someone goes "But I want you to oblige to my terms", I tell them off.

The trick here is to go into this open-minded. People asking me for help aren't random strangers, they're friends or friends of friends. Since I don't surround myself with morons, chances are high, they'll understand. I don't assume the worst from the get-go but when someone stresses me, I close it immediately. That way, I am still helpful but don't stress myself out.

You said earlier that this person is rather aware that you don't owe her anything and doing quite the favor here without anything in return but a warmhearted "thank you" (which is still rewarding if it's honest). Chances are, she won't treat you like a slave. No need to assume the worst here.

Looks like SlashDot has been hacked...

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".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

Looks good to me. Must have had a quick down time.

Nothing to report.
Still working, just like last weekend, and the one before, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one ...

No need to poke it with a stick, scrabble around for drivers, or resort to arcane command lines. No need to recompile the kernel, re-educate Herself, or find some way to run applications that have worked faultlessly for years...

Just thought I'd mention it. Big Grin | :-D

Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote:
No need to poke it with a stick

Me either.

OriginalGriff wrote:
scrabble around for drivers,

There are no Linux drivers.

OriginalGriff wrote:
resort to arcane command lines.

Unless you're running a server version of Windows.

OriginalGriff wrote:
No need to recompile the kernel,

Here either. But you can if you want/need to.

OriginalGriff wrote:
re-educate Herself,

No need here either because FireFox and Thunderbird work the same as they did in Windows (and Linux Thunderbird even uses our old Windows Thunderbird profiles), and Libre Office lets her do her spreadsheet stuff (and that's the same as Office as well). All I had to do was make her legacy documents available and tell her where they were.

OriginalGriff wrote:
find some way to run applications that have worked faultlessly for years...

You mean the stuff like Visual Studio? Faultlessly? VirtualBox to the rescue.

OriginalGriff wrote:
Just thought I'd mention it.

Back at ya, cupcake. Smile | :)

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

modified 6-Jan-19 8:09am.

As it is weekend there try an update a Win 7 machine to Win 10 - while working on it (Yes - did it two weeks ago moving from Fedora 27 to 29 without interruption)...
As today the only thing Linux has no - for developers - is VS...
Granted - there are lot of issues with Linux for not-technical persons that makes it a no-go, but for our kind it is much better, IMHO...
No need for drivers research, no need for command line (but it is actually pretty nice to work with - similar to writing code)...
On the other hand - herself's computer runs W10 now and she can not change the resolution/font-size, because a years old tax-related software (based on Access)...

"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge". Stephen Hawking, 1942- 2018

OriginalGriff wrote:
Nothing to report.

Which is to be expected on Windows; but if you're moving to another OS, you're bound to run into things. Always a good idea to look beyond your comfort-zone Smile | :)

..and quite happy there is no-one posting about their iOS weekend Laugh | :laugh:

Bastard Programmer from Hell Suspicious | :suss:

If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.

yup, get in there with the millions of windows users that shutting down to go to bed think to themselves, "will it still boot tomorrow?"

Message Signature
(Click to edit ->)

Linux is for consenting adults. Smile | :)

If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.

theoldfool wrote:
Linux is for consenting adults

...with an outsider subsequently asking "you agreed to what"??

Windows is great; it's all the other stuff.

Check Task Manager and see what's running in the background ... with multiple instances.

All internet browsers are pigs.

"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal

Nothing to report.

But I do have a 500gb nVME drive sitting here without a way to use it until Tuesday...

EDIT (for OG Smile | :)

) ===============================

This whole Linux migration thing started in (late) September 2018 when I got my new laptop (because I absolutely refuse to use Win10 at home), and yes, there were some bumps and bruises along the way. However, I only have one Windows VM for Windows dev work, dvd ripping, and maybe for turbo tax if SWMBO decides she doesn't want to do our taxes on the web. Here we are, about 3-1/2 months later, and we're finally fully migrated, including seven desktop machines, three laptops, a NUC, and three Raspberry Pi's.

This is the first weekend since I started this that I didn't have to do anything to address an issue regarding Linux. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I hope to never do it again. Smile | :)

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

modified 6-Jan-19 8:08am.

So which would you say comes out the cheapest, in terms of time + real money?

a) dealing with Linux's idiosyncrasies

b) Windows license + its own idiosyncrasies

Linux, by far.

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

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