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Well I see you've all carried on nicely without me.
I'll just be returning to this rock I live under.
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Hooooooooooooooooooooooooly crap it's alive! 
I'm thinking of a joke you once made, "I'm pretty nervous, but what's the worst that could happen? I could die up here man..."
I was worried that might actually have happened.
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Not dead yet, nope. I forgot about that bit. Still doing comedy, a weekly open mic and just started a monthly showcase. If any of you folks are ever in Chicago...
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Hello[^].
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I think Adele - Hello - YouTube[^] is the one you are looking for. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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I prefer the Derek and Clive version, but it's definitely not Lounge material. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I prefer the Kevin Wilson version, but that's not even You-tube suitable, let alone Lounge!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm sorry sir, I missed that. Can you repeat what you just said?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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FOUR double seven three one zero four, did you get it then?
That one's not bad either!
I was thinking of "Hello John". None of which is SFW! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: I was thinking of "Hello John".
Nothing wrong with that video[^].
SFW, if slightly insane.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I think this - Adele - Hello (metal cover by Leo Moracchioli) - YouTube[^] - is a much better version.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Hey, good to hear from you, how are things going ?
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Good, too busy to contribute much to forums and such as of late, but going well. How are you doing?
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Good to see you - It was only recently I was wondering what happened to you. Please bring back the 185 walk into a bar.
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I just got this mail in my inbox:
Re: Notice.
Heather.Richardson@kemin.com (Heather.Richardson@kemin.com)
You have 40 percent and i want you to mail me via my personal email blow
Name: Andre Dean
Email: deanandre3@gmail.com
Notice to Recipient: This transmission including any attachments may contain confidential information that belongs to the sender and may be privileged by law. If you received this e-mail in error, any dissemination or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. Unless explicitly designated as an electronic contract, this e-mail does not constitute a contract.
I am SO tempted to answer it, because I would really like to know what I've got 40 percent of... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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40% of the money she needs to scam this week?
40% chance of getting hit by bus if you walk in the middle of the road?
40% share of her new online divorce startup edisharmony.com?
veni bibi saltavi
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Maybe it's missing the word in...
veni bibi saltavi
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You wish!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: might even have 40 percent of the solutions to the answers in Q&A
40% of them can be answered with:
Do it yourself - it's your homework!
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You see? I DO have that! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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email blow can be dangerous ...
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Wouldn't know - most of my emails suck...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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