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I just got this email:
"I'm reaching out as I just had an immediate requirement come in for a rapidly growing company here in Austin ...[pointless crap about how fast their growing, blah-f*ckin-blah...
They are looking to add a QA Engineer with coding skills (ideally Java or Python, or both)...[more pointless job description drivel]...
This would be perfect for someone who has some Q/A experience but wants a route into development, or someone looking for their first Java/Python coding role, and they will provide you the support to get there if you are willing to start in QA."
Here's what sent me over the edge...
"I appreciate this may not be appropriate for you..."
Well then, Mr. "senior recruiter", why the F*CK are you bothering me?!!! I sent this as a reply:
I gotta say this is so far outside my skill set that I'm assuming this is a f*ckin' joke of some kind. Did you even so much as skim over my resume?
And "start out in QA" so I could eventually "move up" to a junior developer position? I've been a programmer for over 35 f*ckin years, and currently command six-figure salaries. Do you think your customer would be willing to pay me that much money just for doing Q/A? This email is a f*ckin insult, and if I were standing in front of you right now, I'd punch you in the mouth for even suggesting this position.
What a f*ckin dick...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Hey, nothing wrong with a little jaw reconstructive criticism.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: And "start out in QA" so I could eventually "move up" to a junior developer position? I've been a programmer for over 35 f*ckin years, and currently command six-figure salaries. Do you think your customer would be willing to pay me that much money just for doing Q/A? This email is a f*ckin insult, and if I were standing in front of you right now, I'd punch you in the mouth for even suggesting this position.
Some places require a "team player" mentality and "works well with others" for their development team, especially those with open workspace. I would suggest working on those attirubte to attract a better proposition.
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Dikshitar V. wrote: I would suggest working on those attirubte to attract a better proposition.
Hold on, let me grab some popcorn....
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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And I most definitely won't disappoint my legions of fans...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I suggest you suck my ass, curry boy.
(and for everyone else - yeah, it's been one of those kinds of days)
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: I suggest you suck my ass, curry boy.
Do you try to "curry favor" with this kind of sayings? Then get suprise with the QA offering? 
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I find your first post, starting this thread, to be best described as "LIBERATING"
As for this, to which I'm currently replying, that you're not as angry as you could be or you'd have prefaced your remark something like "I suggest you breath out and . . ."
Now I'll go to the top for the '+' part.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: my ass, curry
I've heard of curried goat, but never curried donkey. What does it taste like?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Much like horse, but a bit tougher.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Serious answer: It's delicious, somewhere between horse and really good beef, dark red meat a bit sweetish in the taste.
Perfect on the bbq.
Sensitive to age though, you don't want an old mule, it might be tough as leather.
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If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Happy for you to malign the good character of a poor recruiter not here to defend himself, but no need to insult the entire culture. There's a line, and the trick to a good insult is riding that line carefully.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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I totally agree with you.
I just accepted a new position yesterday, and the job search has been a lot of the same form email crap.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Mate of mine had two different recruiters phone up about a job the thought he might be interested in a couple of weeks ago.
The job he had recently resigned from.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I had the same thing. I had joked to my ow boss at the exit interview that I might come back as an expensive consultant. His reply was, "We don't employ contractors in this department!" First recruiter that called was all excited and said, "We have an almost perfect match for your skills and experience and it is just around the corner from where you live so the commute will be minimal! They are paying well and will need you to start straight away, this is an urgent requirement!" It was to replace me at my old job at my old firm! 
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Did you get the job?
Those are both GREAT stories!!! Thanks for sharing.
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I was tempted to go for the interview just to see my old boss's face but the reason I left there was that the work culture was turning we into a vegetating cube dweller. Everything had to be done by the established procedure which was 100% controlled by the senior staff who had all been promoted to their level of incompetence. All initiative was frowned upon and, in fact, actively discouraged! I could stand it no longer and had to get out even though I had no new job to go to at the time.
The following day I got an offer to do an emergency fix contract job in the exciting city of Stevenage (exciting because I had never been there before and it was nearly 200 miles away) and the rest is history!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Great stories. 
May you continue to have an interesting life. 
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I got an email some last year from a woman recruiter that said something along the lines of
"I have your resume and I see from our experience that you might be qualified to fulfill a new open position in sales..."
I wrote back something like "How in the name of god did you conclude that my 30 years of programming experience make me even remotely qualified to do sales, or that I might somehow want to"
She wrote back "If this position doesn't interest you or if you're not a fit, please forward it to a friend"
to which I responded "Do your own F@$$@&# job"
She wrote back "Thank you, have a nice day"
Stupid wench
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Kevin Marois wrote: She wrote back "If this position doesn't interest you or if you're not a fit, please forward it to a friend"
to which I responded "Do your own F@$$@&# job"
You've got it all wrong! You've surely heard how important networking is when it comes to job-hunting, yes?
This is just the 'new' style of networking, which they are calling 'Ring'. If the job isn't for you, you just pass it along to the next person! 
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They now use AI bot for send those emails.
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Just as well. They can't be out of a job soon enough, IMO.
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Please - even wench's deserve some respect. She doesn't sound up to their standards by a long shot.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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