|
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in The Vatican.
One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.
Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite!"
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said: "Moshe, would you look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
|
|
|
|
|
Good one! 
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
|
|
|
|
|
Careful, or the you-have-to-respect-my-religion-above-all-else nazis will vote your jokes as abuse.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
It's a good joke - and I'm one of the brothers... 
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
|
|
|
|
|
I can't think of brothers begging without thinking of Eddie Murphy, back in the days where his overbearing arrogance and stupidity didn't shine quite so darkly.
It was Mortimer and bugger-I-can't-remember-his-name, wasn't it?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That's the guy.
Mind you, there was a much more interesting pair in Trading Places.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Almost. As Keith said, the brothers re-appeared in Coming to America, but as tramps.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
If you have less luck, at the light of recent events, some could track you down and kalachnikov you.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
|
|
|
|
|
Nah, they can't do that, because I became a guru, a few minutes ago[^], so they have to respect my religion above all else.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
That reminds me of this[^] drawing.
|
|
|
|
|
My latest words of wisdom as a tech guru:
If all the tweets are getting you down, close your Windows.
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all of this. I think you're evil. EVIL!
|
|
|
|
|
I hope you remembered the Australian accent!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nah, Mate. The real answer's for the birds.
Kenneth has to read all the parts, 'cause I'm just going to sit on my @rse and watch, so he needs to make sure his accent's polished up.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
If you were a footballer playing in England you'd be facing a minimum five game ban for aggravated racial discrimination for posting that.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
Of what race?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
|
|
|
|
|
In the UK in recent times any mention of Jews liking money draws condemnation from various Jewish groups claiming it is antisemitic.
The FA lumps antisemitism in with racism in its rules and has started charging anyone within football who even makes reference to the stereotype.
It's all a bit silly.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
Silly indeed...
I'm a Jew and like money (do you have some to send me? ), but at the table next to me is a Palestinian guy who likes money also...
All the subject is problematic if it meant to be an INSULT and not a JOKE...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
|
|
|
|
|
I know that, you know that, unfortunately some people... probably do know that but have stopped thinking about it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not sure that implying that if you're Jewish, you are smarter than the Catholics is an insult to Jews?!!! 
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
|
|
|
|
|
Reminds me of a story I read as a child more than 35 years ago in a children's magazine called Chandamama in India.
Two fruit sellers having their individual push-carts sell fruits in front of a school in a village. One of them charges double the price per fruit than the other. Everyone crowds around and buys from the one selling for lesser price, whereas the other one has no buyer at all.
What the children do not know is that they are brothers, and this is their selling strategy. Even the brother selling for less was a bit costly compared to the fruits sold in the nearby market - so overall they made profit everyday.
|
|
|
|
|
Careful, I got berated for putting a jibe at Fox in the Lounge the other day. Seems it's more sacred than Catholicism or Judaism!
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
