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That one was not only accurate, it was 100% spot on! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Australia's the place to go
sort of speak English, (actually believing they are the only country that does) but:
.. get every vowel sound wrong,
.. shorten almost every word to maximum 2 syllables,
.. weird names for almost every food ... so you never know what you might get
.... (can't cook to save themselves - no sense of taste anyway)
and even freelance IT geeks wear 3 piece suits (with tie) and will sit outside in 100 plus degrees (without taking their jacket off) eating "koooz koooz on frinch brid stecks with a skem [melk] frappa[chinno]" for lunch.
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So I've just booked us a fortnight in Scotland! D'Oh! | 
remember your jabs 
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Jabs? You need a good right hook if you're goin to Scotla!
veni bibi saltavi
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If you cannae understand what the Scots are saying, then you havenae drunk enough whisky.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Probably not!
Well, it's worth a try anyway... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Just came back from a trip to Edinburgh. You will love it. Try the haggis, nips, and tatties. Great stuff. Here in the States, restaurants put way too much salt on everything, so it was a very pleasant surprise to have a meal without having to drink gallons of water.
Most of the people I met there spoke English fairly well until the whisky started flowing, but after a few shots, I had no problems understanding the conversations. Well, mainly because the conversations were more grunts and belly laughs at that point. 
When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others.
Same thing when you are stupid.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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So true! Ah, good times. Can't wait to get back there in the Spring. I feel like a yuuuge weight lifted from my shoulders when I'm there, but it returns once I arrive back in the States. 
When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others.
Same thing when you are stupid.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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Oooh, I've had haggis before. Can't say that I liked it, but I managed to eat it without puking... (pretty proud of that, actually) 
Strangest thing I've seen in Scotland, though: Haggis flavoured Potato Chips (Crisps in UK English) - Think that I might actually prefer Cajun Squirrel chips[^] over that... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Well one thing you definitely have to try is Irn Bru. [^] Much better than any fizzy drink in the U.S.
When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others.
Same thing when you are stupid.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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If Scottish Customs at the airport don't find a knife on you they'll lend you one for the duration of your stay.
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Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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A doona ken wetcha mien.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Hi All,
Testing from Chrome on my work PC desktop!
it works Yabbadaba Dooo!!!
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So you remembered your login after all???
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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He didn't ... Google did that for him unknowingly/unwillingly 
modified 19-Nov-18 21:01pm.
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No it did not, I used my home PC to change the password! 
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Yabbadaba Dooo! Then.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So, after one day in your new job, you stop work and revert to your 'pub' persona.
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Very good. Though you do know your new handle will be invalid evenings and weekends?
veni bibi saltavi
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No one complained before!
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Movie Quote Of The Day
Quote:
A: Look, you gotta get off the streets. There's giant spiders everywhere.
B: I'd love to help you, but I got shark problems right now.
Which movie?
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Sharknophobia??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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