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There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine...
Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried "Oh God, Oh God, forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke... "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents.
When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door.
The teacher said "Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father".
Little Johnny said "Sorry, but they ain't here".
The teacher said "Johnny, what is it with your grammar?"
"Beats me" said Little Johnny "but Dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again".
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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 I do like 'little johnny' jokes
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Me too, but usually you can't post them in the lounge. 
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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yes, like when he has to explain the word 'contagious' 
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"It's going to take her forever to mow the lawn!"
Nope, you're right - doesn't work.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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roars with laughter - no
I was thinking "its going to take that .... ages to shovel the gravel from his driveway" - same type of thing
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...well, a Google senior VP plummets, anyway: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-29766189[^]
25 miles, straight down! 
What gets me, it took him two hours and seven minutes to travel 25 miles up - that's faster than traffic moves in London!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
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Awesome hadn't heard anything about this.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0 Beta
There's a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it's usually a prescription.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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What gets me is he's 57. You'd have thought it'd be a young man's game this high altitude parachuting malarkey.
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More like a rich man's game.
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This really gotta be awesome!
Give that old man a mug of beer!
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... and a Gerital.
Joel Palmer
Data Integration Engineer
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The original joke was a Leslie so I'll try another un
Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the Local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0 Beta
There's a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it's usually a prescription.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
modified 24-Oct-14 19:57pm.
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Yep Leslie got me, thanks I'll delete!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0 Beta
There's a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it's usually a prescription.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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"thin scratch on the front left door"
How many doors does a Corvette have? 
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Quite a lot over its entire lifetime..
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 +5
/ravi
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Mike Hankey wrote: The original joke was a Leslie so I'll try another un
This time, you've managed to Leslie yourself! 
http://www.codeproject.com/Messages/4877769/MJOTD.aspx[^]
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Double damn, my memory is getting so bad!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0 Beta
There's a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it's usually a prescription.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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E-Mail from a man in Sheffield to his friend in Birmingham:
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Flag of ISIS in its centre.
Now, the Yorkshire police, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365.
My children are followed to school every day, and my wife too, when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.
I've never felt safer.
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It's true what they say: the truth often offends.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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