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The once was a gas man named Peter
Who went downstairs to check the meter
When he struck a light
He rose out of sight
And as any good student of poetry knows he completely destroyed the meter.
[please keep any response SFW, and kid sister appropriate]
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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There was a young lady from Madras,
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not pretty and pink
As you probably think.
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: Who had a magnificent ass.
Not pretty and pink
Was she sunburnt?
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Edward Gorey:
Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot of my bed;
I'd not mind that he speaks
In gibbers and squeaks,
But for seventeen years he's been dead.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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There was an enchanting young bride
Who ate many green apples and died.
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider inside her inside.
There are two types of people in this world: those that pronounce GIF with a soft G, and those who do not deserve to speak words, ever.
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While downloading updates on my puter'
and fiddling around with my router(English pronunciation)
a calamity struck
and my first thought was...(best not say really)
Windows 10! Now I'm going nucular!(Bush pronunciation)
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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GuyThiebaut wrote: nucular!(Bush pronunciation)
JFK, atcherley.
Kids these days...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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No, it was Jimmy Carter.
Well okay it was all of them. But Jimmy was most pronounced.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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What, the long-haired lover from Liverpool?
Oh, wait. Am I getting the Osmonds mixed up with American presidents, again?
I'm always doing that.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Or was it Billy Connolly[^]? 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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There one was a man with no luck,
Whose wife cooked and served his pet duck,
He cried and he cried,
When he saw how it died,
But me, I just don't... see how to end this limerick
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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He shouldn't have taught it to cluck?
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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If you let them cluck, they'll run amok, and that would suck.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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A limerick writer from Bow
Was asked why he appeared to be low
"It's a terrible shock
But I've got writer's"
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said 'Get out of me clinic',
'and wipe off that lipstick you fool!'
The tool being a fork, otherwise I'd be breaking some rule 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
modified 16-Mar-16 21:48pm.
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It wasn't until my second read that I actually got the joke. Fantastic. Upvote for you! 
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I know of a town named Limerick
About it I'm writing this limerick
It's not very good
But I did what I could
To find words that rhyme with "limerick"
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There once was a lad from Saint Lou
Who's limericks ended at two
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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There once was a man named Clyde
Who went to the out house and died
Next door in the other
So did his brother
And now they're interred side by side
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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To make usability more sleek
UX suggested a small tweak
Developers beware
Read the spec if you dare
Implementing it will take the whole week
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A king who was mad at the time
Decreed limerick writing a crime
But late in the night
All the poets would write
Limericks without rhyme or meter
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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There once was a young lass from Cape Cod
Who thought that all babes came from God
But it weren't the Almighty
That got in her nighty
'Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!
Will Rogers never met me.
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There once was a loving machine
both concave and convex
it could serve either sex
entertaining itself in between!
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[I forget where this one comes from]
There was a young woman called Bright
Who could travel much faster than light
She went out one day
In a Relative way
And returned the previous night
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Persistent chap...
There are two types of people in this world: those that pronounce GIF with a soft G, and those who do not deserve to speak words, ever.
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