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There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said 'Get out of me clinic',
'and wipe off that lipstick you fool!'
The tool being a fork, otherwise I'd be breaking some rule 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
modified 16-Mar-16 21:48pm.
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It wasn't until my second read that I actually got the joke. Fantastic. Upvote for you! 
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I know of a town named Limerick
About it I'm writing this limerick
It's not very good
But I did what I could
To find words that rhyme with "limerick"
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There once was a lad from Saint Lou
Who's limericks ended at two
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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There once was a man named Clyde
Who went to the out house and died
Next door in the other
So did his brother
And now they're interred side by side
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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To make usability more sleek
UX suggested a small tweak
Developers beware
Read the spec if you dare
Implementing it will take the whole week
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A king who was mad at the time
Decreed limerick writing a crime
But late in the night
All the poets would write
Limericks without rhyme or meter
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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There once was a young lass from Cape Cod
Who thought that all babes came from God
But it weren't the Almighty
That got in her nighty
'Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!
Will Rogers never met me.
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There once was a loving machine
both concave and convex
it could serve either sex
entertaining itself in between!
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[I forget where this one comes from]
There was a young woman called Bright
Who could travel much faster than light
She went out one day
In a Relative way
And returned the previous night
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Persistent chap...
There are two types of people in this world: those that pronounce GIF with a soft G, and those who do not deserve to speak words, ever.
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Persistent chap moron
FTFY 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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Cornelius Henning wrote: Persistent chap moron
I can think of better adjectives than 'persistent', too.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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APOD: 2016 March 16 - A Phoenix Aurora over Iceland[^]
Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Thankfully it wasn't this![^]
Marc
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Yikes! Indeed!
Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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*Left Speechless*
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Hi All
Taking some time out I found this today Java Forever And Ever Movie (Java vs Windows .Net) - YouTube[^] posted on a friends face book feed. I can only get at Facebook from my phone so it took a little YouTube hunting to find. The film it parodies is that one with Kevin Spacey that I can't remember the name of (lots of rose petals) it's driving me nuts! 
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Was your friend's name Leslie[^], by any chance? 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Possibly his middle name! Any idea of what the movie is...
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Sounds like American Beauty (1999)[^].
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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That's it, thanks I will stop banging my head now! I saw it when I was at Uni.
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American Beauty, perhaps?
"One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson
"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - James D. Miles
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