|
Yes - to do some Black Magic...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
|
|
|
|
|
I tried it, and the Swami's voice chanted "great power will be yours o enlightened child of the forums". And lo, it came to pass[^].
Veni, vidi, abiit domum
|
|
|
|
|
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. (Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place!!)
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
*********
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
````````````````
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, --- let's look for yours."
*********************
(And this final one especially for me,)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
**************************
Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!
|
|
|
|
|
One elderly lady was chatting with another. “My memory is poor Mildred, so I changed my password to “incorrect.” That way when I log in with the wrong password, the computer will tell me… “Your password is incorrect.”
Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.
|
|
|
|
|
|
I lurve #14! 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
|
|
|
|
|
Thought from the title it was going to be about poetry/Valentines Day.
Probably shouldn't have found this one[^] funny, but I did.
|
|
|
|
|
I wonder what the sign said?
|
|
|
|
|
Well it was Cardiff, so I'm going for this[^].
|
|
|
|
|
In Wales it wouldn't have the line through it and would be a triangle.
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
"Warning: Strong storms may blow down shields!"
Clean-up crew needed, grammar spill... - Nagy Vilmos
|
|
|
|
|
5 feet in a week 1/2 in the Colorado high country as of yesterday.
We don't make the news much, but we have Breckenridge, A-Basin, Keystone, Copper Mountain and Vail.
Y'all come up. The skiing is out of this world right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Sky News were asking for viewer's pictures of the storm devastation so I sent them this[^].
They didn't use it though.
|
|
|
|
|
Just did some Mythbusters.
Can a bread knife cut meat?
CONFIRMED
|
|
|
|
|
Depends how fresh the bread you make the knife out of is...and probably how crusty as well.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
|
|
|
|
|
in this case, if the bread is old enough you might be able to even cut steel 
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
|
|
|
|
|
Your own meat ? Did it hurt ?
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, but I think I´ll live 
|
|
|
|
|
At least, you are still able to type.
Did not have someone the signature "I want to be an eunuch, pass me the bread knife !".
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
I think it was more like "I want to be a Unix programmer..."
Obligatory Dilbert[^]
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks, I never got it 
(Was it you, btw ?)
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Nope!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
|
|
|
|
|
Mmmhh... why is the sound of your voice suddenly so high pitched ?
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
The electricity came back on yesterday when I wasn't expecting it... 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
|
|
|
|
|
Or was it just too much caffeine? [^]
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
