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Based on title alone, I thought the post was going to be about the runs. Glad it wasn't.
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No, in that case, it would have been "It's been a shìtty morning..." 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Many, many years ago, one of my colleagues was in the Territorial Army and was away from work for a week, during which time we completely sabotaged his desk...
Clingfilm stuff over the phone dial (it was a real rotary phone dial)
Mouthpiece of phone off, cardboard in, back together - many shouted conversations of fun!
Removed the arms from his chair and stuck on with tape - so they lasted having the chair moved, but not when he leant on them to sit.
Put his in/out trays on pencils (the round type) and a piece of string from teh back of them, to the back of his draw - pull out the draw and the in tray went everywhere.
the two pieces of resistance, as they say:
Sent a telegram saying our pools syndicate had won (it had - we won about three pounds from memory) several thousand pounds each
With the help of the HR department, faked his payslip to have an additional week's pay instead of taking a week's pay off!
Oh! the fun when he bought the drinks on his windfalls!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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There's a lot of good stuff in there. Too bad that it can't be used nowadays with cell phones and paperless offices... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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yeah - about the funniest thing these days is changing someone's phone language.
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Back in the day, when the Intellipoint software had an option to change the mouse orientation, I managed to rotate everyone's mouse orientation by 90 degrees, to cause much confusion.
I actually travelled 100 miles early in the morning to do it when no one would suspect it was me, and it was on April Fool's day, if that's any excuse.
Turned up as usual, on a Monday morning, half-hour late and no-one had managed to fix it yet.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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I'm not sorry to say that I'd respond to a practical joke like that with a practical attempt to get my boot up his @rse in as painful a way (to him) as possible.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Wow, gee this brings back memories. 
I had a mate in high-school that was extremely studious, courteous and generally speaking - wouldn't say "boo" to a mouse. Boy oh boy, how appearances can be deceiving..
For the last lesson of Physics in year 12, he'd planned something with similar devices too. (they're sold as 'party poppers' here - the one's that resemble the shape of a champagne bottle. They contain the devices you show, but also have some streamers in them too)
The blackboards in the classroom were sliding units, 3 one-in-front of the other. You'd pull them all down to the bottom, write on one and then slide it up to the top of the track. He asked me to watch the corridor during recess so he could slip inside the room and "set up a little joke". Knowing John as well as I did, I figured it'd be pretty tame and obliged.
Since we were the next class to use the room, I not only had the pleasure of imagining what shenanigans he got up to, but also of anticipating the result. Remember, I still had absolutely no idea what he'd done..
About 15 minutes into the class the first board was filled-up and our poor teacher thrust it to the top of the rails with a gentle push. *BANG!* 20 startled heads looked up from their desks at the source of the noise, only to discover a falling cloud of streamers and that he'd raided his dad's collection of gentleman's magazines the night before and staring back at us was the centerfold of a Penthouse.
The look of horror on our teacher's face was priceless, as was the fact that the girls were laughing as much if not more than the guys were. I was prime suspect #1 but without any proof nothing further was done about it.
--
In later years, I discovered (the hard way  ) the fun that can be had by putting sticky-tape over the optical sensor of computer mice. Fun that was only made 'better' by drawing on the black rubber mouse wheel with gel-ink.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Well, you could clean your teeth with lager?
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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Might cause a few problems with the morning commute... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Only if you breathe out... 
Besides, you work from home, so you have no problem there...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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You use mint?[^] 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Gotta get me one of those...
Ive tried liquorice and ginger before, but not this one... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Here are some good ideas[^] - But alas, no pizza and no beer...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Try the vending machines in Shinjuko, Tokyo. You might be surprised by what's on offer.
«To kill an error is as good a service as, and sometimes even better than, the establishing of a new truth or fact» Charles Darwin in "Prospero's Precepts"<</font>
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Sushi toothpaste? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Worse: used underwear...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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You can get meat flavoured toothpaste for dogs.
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
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Here in Sweden, you can also get meat flavoured dog beer[^]...
It goes nicely with lasagna, by the way...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Bacon! Bacon air freshener. Strong enough you can taste it. 
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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Johnny J. wrote:
Why doesn't anybody make air freshener that smells of pizza?
Such a thing does exist.
"One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson
"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - James D. Miles
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Link or I don't believe you... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Once a week, instead of having it delivered, go pick up the pizza in person. Problem solved.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Two shortcuts to Chrome have just appeared on my desktop when I booted up.
Pretty sure they weren't there yesterday. And the properties show they don't open any "odd" files.
Anyone else see this, or is it just me?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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