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As long as you missed his blue suede shoes...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm too suspicious to click on that link. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I agree, that is sad!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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So, this Banker Exec goes deer huntin’ for the first time.
Just off the road, he sees a deer, fires, hits and it goes down.
A Fish & Game Conservation Officer (CO) just happened to be nearby.
Banker shot a female and not male like he’s s’posed to.
So, the CO writes him a ticket & takes the deer.
Banker Exec shows for his court hearing.
Judge asks, “Why did you shoot the wrong animal?”
“Well, Your Honor,” replies, the Exec, “I’m a Banker. A buck and dough are the same to me.”
/* To Comment, //or not to Comment
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Expen$ive !
I like the specs of the new Surface Book, and Surface Pro 4 ... of course, that like is not based on actually getting my fingers on one, yet. Being both cheap and diligent in terms of hardware purchases, I would always wait at least several months after some new epiphany arrives, and look for in-depth reviews on Toms' Hardware, AnandTech, (yes, even CNet) etc., as well as any first-person accounts here on CP.
Given I believe that Win 10 is still in beta, and will be until spring, 2016 (minimum), and (for now) appears to have been designed with intransigent (not removable) intrusion into my privacy in terms of: user-activity being monitored and reported to Sauron is neither explicit, or de-fangable ...
Well, pause is.
And, I think about the fact that here (in northern Thailand) the displays of the Surface 3 in the super-stores always look rather plain-and-puny compared to the displays of small-form-factor computers from Samsung, Acer, Lenovo, etc. ... So few people ever seen tickling the MS devices' keyboards or mouse-pads (which, of course, is very much an outcome, here, of said devices being more expensive, as well as not looking "cool").
While zing, fizz, and eye-candy shock-and-awe, don't float my boat, my one session where I actually played around with a Surface 3 Pro left me with a "never buy that one" dismal feeling.
Yet, as someone who develops (or, at least goes through the motions in retirement of developing) for Win, I wouldn't mind the idea of buying a small form-factor, portable, machine from Sauron.
And, that will never happen until I see value and quality for money-spent in an MS device compared to other companies' devices. For me, with rapidly diminishing eyesight (thanks, old age), that means quality of screen display; for me, as speed-typist (thanks, mom for forcing me to go to typing school when I was 11 years old after my teachers told her my hand-writing looked like Aztec pictographs written by someone drunk), that means touch-and-feel responsiveness of the keyboard. For me, as wanna-be hermit who would happily wear an indivisibility cloak (stops divide-by-zero attempts cold) as well as an invisibility cloak (internet-socially speaking), that means an OS that does not put ads in a start menu, and moon-light as yet another facet of Sauron's all-seeing eye.
If Sauron doesn't whip-blend-and-puree its OEM-partners in demonicity into bankruptcy one way or another, perhaps the one really good thing about MS putting out devices is that it will drive said partners to produce better machines at lower prices ?
Would that be too much to ask ?
cheers, Bill
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut.
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BillWoodruff wrote: zing, fizz, and eye-candy shock-and-awe, don't float my boat,
Have you seen their tour busses.
While I like the convenience of a tablet, Samsung, I could not relate that to development other than testing for that platform. I will always want 2 screens and as much grunt as possible in the development box, preferably a desktop.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning . The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun and, as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'
The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby,was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
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EIGHTH DEGREE
A blonde is upset for getting a parking ticket while parking in a no parking zone. She figured if it was a no parking zone, she wasn't in anybody's way.
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TERMINAL DEGREE
A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.
"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.
"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.
"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.
"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"
The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "... inhale, exhale, inhale...".
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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You should hear the running tape: "Left foot, inhale, other left foot, exhale, left foot, ..."
Software Zen: delete this;
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On a normal processor this would be the internal microcode
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Walkman? How *old* is that joke?!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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On the ride home I had plenty of zombies with their brain pacemakers firmly plugged in. The walkman and tapes may be history now, but somehow the joke is more fitting than ever.
Edit: Just looked it up - the walkman went out of production in 2010, not so long ago.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Last week there was some discussion about telemarketers on this board. I thought I would share an example of a telemarketer talking to my server[^]. The two "kids" and the "old man (father)" are my server talking. The "woman" is a robocall.
So this is their computer talking to my computer.
I built this system almost 7 years ago. It detects telemarketers and has a "conversation" with them to waste their time. The calls are recorded, transcoded to mp3, and emailed to me to laugh at later. It even sends a DTMF "1" after the first round, as most telemarketers say "press 1 to be connected to a real person." It has a near 100% success rate. This has been so entertaining over the years that I am considering removing my phone numbers from the "do not call" list and even adding "honeypot" DID's to my PBX.
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When are you going to open source the code? More people should be doing this!
Hogan
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I will, just so many projects and so little time...
I'm glad you liked it.
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Just you wait until your server starts ordering upgrades this way.
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Oh, it does a LOT more than just this.
There are a few telemarketers who REALLY piss me off. The ones who keep calling, literally hundreds of times.
For those, I track down the company responsible (manual detective work), and I find the phone number of their company. The real phone number. Then I have my server REDIRECT the telemarketer to their own number.
I have a rule table of those telemarketers and their related parent numbers. So, when they call me, they hear their OWN MAIN SWITCHBOARD answer. I cannot describe how satisfying this is.
And my PBX is still in the loop recording the hilarity. That is usually all it takes to get them to permanently remove me from their call list, although I had one company continue for 6 months.
I have fallen down from laughing so hard...
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This is evil. Evil and right. I admire you. 
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
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You know, it's the little things in life...
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Awesome. Just awesome. 
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Wow, I used to get 1 call every 2-3 months, an indian gentleman from MS wanting me to download some software to fix the problems on my machine. After a couple of sessions of long detailed discussions on achieving well... nothing they eventually gave up.
I can't remember the last time I got a telemarketer on the land line.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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