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I was discussing performance with a member of the team Who Will Remain Unnamed. We were going over the various parts of a page load that are slowing things down and we were focussing on Redis calls. We log perf only to the millisecond, so anything under half a millisecond will be reported as 0 seconds
Me: There's a lot of cache calls, but they're all completed in 0ms
Him: Yeah, but all those zeros add up
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Reminds me of the time one of my friends at Purdue wrote a complicated equation on a board (5.5' high and 45' long, the equation filled the whole thing) and challenged people to solve it.
The answer to it? Zero. I was the only person that solved it. Even the maths professors there couldn't get it!
I was kind of a celebrity for a few days afterwards, and the professors were rather embarrassed.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Chicks dig it. 
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Hilarious. Can't vote though. I'm in Sumsung S6.
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I solved it so quickly as I noticed that the second half was the negative of the first half, simply allowing me to cancel it all out and get zero. When I explained that, one professor turned bright red with embarrassment, as he had worked on it for three hours before giving up. It took me less than a minute to see how to solve it.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Sounds like something Kent might say 
Last week I had an issue in a bit of code that checked if the URL was equal to "http://something.etc.com/controller".
Unfortunately it wasn't as the URL was "suddenly" https...
So I changed the code to check if the URL ends with "://something.etc.com/controller" and the issue was fixed.
A coworker looks up to me and in all seriousness tells me "this won't work if we are going protocol-less"
The sad part about it is that he was really serious and really doesn't have a clue about how protocols or the internet works 
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I often go protocol-less. It causes no end of trouble...
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Chris Maunder wrote: Me: There's a lot of cache calls, but they're all completed in 0ms
Him: Yeah, but all those zeros add up
You're both right. Hence the expression "a big, fat zero".
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The I wasn't expecting to like it but might have to change my mind new album of the week is Synthia by the Jezabels. Hints of Kate Bush, Shakespear's Sister and a slightly less gloomy than usual Lana Del Rey?
The Jezabels - Come Alive [Official Video] - YouTube[^]
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
modified 12-Feb-16 18:07pm.
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Awesome song, awesome video! 
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With the sound (noise) turned completely off, one can enjoy the very well done (hand drawn ?) video animation. The voice seems to be half Gaga, half Lana del Rey.
«In art as in science there is no delight without the detail ... Let me repeat that unless these are thoroughly understood and remembered, all “general ideas” (so easily acquired, so profitably resold) must necessarily remain but worn passports allowing their bearers short cuts from one area of ignorance to another.» Vladimir Nabokov, commentary on translation of “Eugene Onegin.”
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That's funny. I was just picturing a horse falling through a scaffold and impaling itself on a large splinter of wood then bleeding to death on camera when I thought to go to the CP Lounge and check out the latest posts!
Thanks Bill! It must have been this thread!
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Evil, evil man!
Good idea... Just make sure you stay well ahead of the FCC or equivalent - they won't be happy if they find out...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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"Users curious about the bug have reportedly bricked their devices trying to disprove the reports on Reddit"
I'm sure those Apple fanbois are still denying it ever happend 
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Sander Rossel wrote: I'm sure those Apple fanbois are still denying it ever happend
Actually, Apple claims that it's a feature - not a bug... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Apparently, you can recover just by letting the battery run out, so not really "bricked"...
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Sure about that? What is the difference between "letting the battery run out" and "remove the batt" and "cold start"? ... uups just come into to my mind with iPhone there is no Chance to remove batteries.  Maybe this is the Point why I like androids 
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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I cannot remove the battery (easily) from my android phone. 
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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With my phone it is easy, but most probably you will not call it a phone
Samsung J1 
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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0x01AA wrote: with iPhone there is no Chance to remove batteries.
You can do it, but it's not easy:
January 1, 1970 Bricked iPhone Glitch FIXED!! - YouTube[^]
Probably easier to take it to an Apple store and get them to replace it.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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