|
BTW, don't forget:
Clickety![^]
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny J. wrote: Speaking as one who is both fat and ugly, I find it hilarious! 
For those who take themselves WAAAY too seriously, please fill in THIS[^] and leave it in the nearest wastepaper basket on your way out! I'll get right on it, I promise! 
On a tangentally related note, I was asked to take this[^] down when I was working full time at a customer in Canberra during my last full time position. I'm not sure why.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
At most of my previous employments, I have had THIS[^] one hanging at my desk (have yet to print it out and hang it at my present job)... Nobody has commented on it yet. 
But many years ago, I created a small windows app that showed a form in the lower right corner of the desktop (by the systray) containing a timer showing how long it was until the end of the working day. When all of my collegues asked me if they could have the app, my boss told me to get rid of it and gave me a warning for anti-social behaviour. Can you believe it? That elephanting sunshine! Anti-social? ME??? Elephant off!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 12-Aug-16 5:01am.
|
|
|
|
|
Why did you not make it a screensaver?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
Could have, but I wanted it running while I was using the computer - to give me hope that at one time, I would get out of the prison they called work!
I think that was what pissed my boss off: The idea that being off work was more desirable than being ON work. I know most employers like to have people who work overtime without pay etc, and I've met a lot of people actually doing it. But personally, I stopped doing that 30 years ago when I discovered that no-one ever thanked me for my work or time put in...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
Those usually are the same bosses who insist that you honor every paragraph in your contract to the letter, except only those cases when it's in their favor. I have no problem with doing overtime when it's needed, but if the boss insist on being correct, then let's be correct.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: Those usually are the same bosses who insist that you honor every paragraph in your contract to the letter, except only those cases when it's in their favor.
Exactly! That was also the employer where I developped my price winning method of doing as little actual work as possible without getting into trouble - while utilizing their broadband connection to the max...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny J. wrote: while utilizing their broadband connection to the max...
c'mon... the loung doesn't need that much
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
|
|
|
|
|
You're not going to get me to elaborate, I plead the 5th! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
|
|
|
|
|
But who's to say that the aliens won't be bone chewers that don't want to waste time digging through the fat to get to what they really want?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
modified 31-Aug-16 8:24am.
|
|
|
|
|
So be fit fast fat.
This space for rent
|
|
|
|
|
Actually, we don't have to be all that fast. Just faster than you... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
Diminishing returns - you have to keep being faster than the next as the next disappears.
This space for rent
|
|
|
|
|
Another option is to have enough firepower to make an impact on their decision-making habits and ultimately convince them to visit another planet for their sustenance.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
|
|
|
|
|
I object to that poster...
It doesn't read properly. "Just be ugly at from £14.99 per month" doesn't make any sense. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
|
|
|
|
|
I love the we don't take ourselves too seriously. Perhaps you shouldn't take yourself to seriously either if you agree with this story. *cough* Natalie *cough*
Fortunately for myself. I am good looking and fat. I don't mind the fat it keeps me warm at night. And if they come for me that is what the arsenal is for. I am in the US after all.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
|
|
|
|
|
I think they're awesome. Peeps need to lighten up if they get butt hurt about that.
Jeremy Falcon
|
|
|
|
|
...and straight into the Coopers Sparkling Ale. If Maunder were here, I'd wouldn't let him have any, the schmiddy shandy drinking girl from Canadia he is.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
And that was how Mr Martin began his campaign to get banned again, M'Lord...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: And that was how Mr Martin began his campaign to get banned again, M'Lord...
Can't remember if it's the last 4 or 5 times Maunder has been back to Australia, but we plan to meet up for a drink and every single time I've rung him up and he's had some excuse about his local not being able to make him a skim soy latte and that is why we can't meet up.
He owes big time.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
If it's any consolation - and I doubt it is - I treasure my ignorance of what a "skim soy latte" is, or where one might find one. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: If it's any consolation - and I doubt it is - I treasure my ignorance of what a "skim soy latte" is, or where one might find one.
Ask Maunder, I have no idea.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
You don't call that a man's drink, do you? Get into Dan Murphy's and buy yourself some good English ale.
|
|
|
|
|
xiecsuk wrote: You don't call that a man's drink, do you? Get into Dan Murphy's and buy yourself some good English ale.
Bitch Please. Looking at the labels they top out at about 4.5% alcohol and are recommended to be served at about 37° Celsius. Utter shite (except for few good ones I have lucked out on)
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
