|
If Santa's reindeer are frozen...
How does he reboot them?
... such stuff as dreams are made on
|
|
|
|
|
Given that Santa is in Norway, he can give them to the God of Thunder to thaw them out...
...reminds me of one my favourite limericks:
The God Of Thunder went for a ride
Upon his favourite philly,
"I'm Thor!" he cried
The horse replied:
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"
|
|
|
|
|
well there's that big ass hole in the top of the world,
he pushes them into that as they get closer to the inquator they thaw, start up and fly back.
basic science do I can.
Signature ready for installation. Please Reboot now.
|
|
|
|
|
Bad day at the office?
... such stuff as dreams are made on
|
|
|
|
|
InitiateGlobalWarmingSequence(desiredTemp);
|
|
|
|
|
He gathers the reindeer 'output', Kindles a Fire and has a daily Stand Up with them.
|
|
|
|
|
And... gives them Alexa on the importance of staying warm!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
|
|
|
|
|
|
And who said the Irish are stupid?
|
|
|
|
|
I just said to Siri - "Surely it's not going to rain today?"
She replied "yes it is going to rain and don't call me Shirley"
My phone was in Airplane mode.
|
|
|
|
|
The one that really got me was in Police Squad when he offers a cigarette to a woman and says "Cigarette?" and her response is "Yes I know" and she looks away.
It took me hours of thinking that one through to eventually get the joke - there are some really great jokes in Police Squad.
[edit - I incorrectly originally said the response was "Yes"]
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
modified 21-Dec-17 5:21am.
|
|
|
|
|
You're going to have to explain it to me I think
|
|
|
|
|
Quote: It took me hours of thinking that one through to eventually get the joke You quit after a few minutes?
|
|
|
|
|
Just worried that if I don't get it before tonight I'm not going to be able to sleep
|
|
|
|
|
OK, here we go with a big hint: "Is this ...?"
|
|
|
|
|
So the joke is he says "Cigarette?" meaning "Do you want a cigarette?" - however what she hears is "Is this a cigarette?" hence her reply of "Yes I know".
(Not "yes" as I previously wrongly wrote...)
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
|
|
|
|
|
Not sure of my favorite, but these are damn good:
Mimi: "Is this some kind of bust?"
Frank: "Yes, ma'am, it's very impressive, but we need to ask you a few questions." And
We're sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
I had a little hunch back at the office.
|
|
|
|
|
Like a midget at a urinal, I'd have to stay on my toes...
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Benjamin Disraeli
|
|
|
|
|
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
I think my altime favourites are the Samantha jokes from I'm sorry I haven't a clue on Radio4
“Samantha has to nip out now with her new gentleman friend. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her."
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
|
|
|
|
|
Caret Smithers used for the indoor decoration (9, 4)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
Christmas Tree - anagram of the first bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, I know it was simple, but I wanted to be festive with it...
You are up tomorrow!
I'd suggest that we make tomorrow the last for the year, and restart with the victor on 2nd January? Make sense to people - if not, let's agree a date.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah it's good with me - I finish today but I'll still post tomorrow.
|
|
|
|