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Reminds me of this
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Robbie Williams are walking along the street. Kylie trips, jamming her head in some railings. Robbie, quick as a flash, pulls down her knickers and [beeeped] her senseless. He turns to Elton and says, "Your turn!" but Elton starts to cry.
"What's wrong, Elton?" asks Robbie.
Elton sobs, "My head won't fit through the railings!"
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Let's not overlook the fact that one of the "Related Stories" is this... Pool: Team Corn bounce back from defeat but are pushed all the way by Chestnut A[^] 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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This is a local paper for local people.
Are you local?
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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H's the localhost.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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"You're not from round these parts?" is never a good opener to hear
veni bibi saltavi
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And yet, you posted it on a website entirely full of non-locals... 
That's the beauty of the Internet. I can be "local" to any city/town I want.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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I didn't think The League Of Gentlemen[^] would have traveled far beyond these shores.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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A load of bull?[^] 
BTW: THIS[^] looks like a bull not to be messed with! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Function of the day:
Anybody seen this before, and knows what it does?
X = (367 * A) - (7 * (A + ((B + 9) \ 12)) \ 4) - 3 * ((A + (B - 9) \ 7) \ 100 + 1) \ 4 + 275 * B \ 9 + C + 1721029
I dug it out from an old Fortran 77 program I wrote in the last millennium to use in a current hobby project.
I am amazed I could figure out how to write it when I were just a sprog!
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Day of the week, Easter Sunday ... ?
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Sorry - no cigar (but on the right track).
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So you changed the variables from Y,M and D to try and confuse people...
veni bibi saltavi
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My keyboard doesn't have those keys, just X, A, B and C. Everything else just says 'Any key' on it. 
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Julian date? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Yup! ...or to be more precise pedantic, Julian day number. The full JD has the time added as a decimal fraction of the day.
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I used that a lot in Polymod MANY years ago! An obscure French interpreted Basic language designed to run on OS/2 - with line numering! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 1-Jul-15 7:41am.
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There is a 'short' version:
JD = (367 * Y) - (7 * (Y + (M + 9) \ 12) \ 4) + (275 * M \ 9) + D + 1721014
This only handles dates back to March 1900, whereas the first one goes back nearly five Millennia.
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That's good to know if - for some reason - Microsoft should decide to remove the support for the DateTime data type in .NET!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 1-Jul-15 8:20am.
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Fine - but don't forget that a Julian Day starts at 12:00:00 (noon) GMT! 
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Thats fine. For me, in an ideal world, ANY day would start at (or around) noon...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Looks like a date to Julian # conversion for say, starting at 1/1/1901 (maybe) but that's just a WAG.
[edit] - hey, I was right! And I didn't look at the other answers first! [/edit]
Marc
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Marc Clifton wrote: And I didn't look at the other answers first!
Can you prove that? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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You're really, really late - by six thousand, six hundred and twelve years. 
Start date is 12:00:00 on January first 4713 BC. 
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He was a famous organist, and has played with many great jazzmen. Eddy Louiss left us.
Amongst all his work are two great albums I often listen to : a duo with Michel Petrucciani, "Conférence de presse", and an album with a bunch of great musicians : "Multicolor Feeling Fanfare".
I'll miss him.
while (true) {
continue;
}
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