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The more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards the Modbook - it seems like the only thing that is *really* aimed at what I want to use the thing for. It's a more than I would prefer to spend though, maybe something for next year.
Some of the other models just seem like half hearted attempts, and not worth the almost inevitable hassle and/or disappointment.
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her.... "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find them. Thanks for the warning!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!
So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his weenie through the bushes, I say, $20 or off it comes!"
"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well", says the little old lady, "Some of them don't believe me"
A fairy granted me one wish and one wish only.
After a little thought I asked 'I want to live forever'.
The fairy apologised and said 'she was unable to grant that type of wish and told me to Wish for something else'.
I thought for awhile and replied 'ok I weant to live to see Luton Town in the Premier League'
'You crafty c***' said the fairy.
I've seen much older versions. The first version I remember involved (then president) Bill Clinton asking for middle-east peace. When the genie couldn't deliver on that wish he ask that everybody should love his wife. The genie asked to take another look at the middle-east map.
There is also a version with a Californian, who asks for a highway bridge all the way across to Hawaii so he can drive over whenever he wants. This declined on the grounds of cost, materials, and not being very environmentally friendly. The Californian then asks that he should be granted a complete and perfect insight to the female mind. The genie sighs and asks "Would that be four lanes or six?".