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Yeah, exactly. I'm starting to think that this whole "I don't need to use comments" thing is coming from people misunderstanding what self-documenting code is. Self-documenting code is largely about readability (which is good); it doesn't mean that you never need to use comments.
Self-documenting code can reduce the need for comments, but that's not the same as eliminating the need for comments. Whenever I hear programmers making these kinds of over-generalized dogmatic statements, I assume it to be a sign of lack of experience in real-world programming, because I can't imagine how someone can program for years and not run into counterexamples.
Scalar functions used in large sets can be the work of the devil, the overhead for processing a function is proportional to the number of rows and the run under a single thread. If you can't or don't want to use the CLR and want better performance, write table valued functions and use a subquery. Sounds stupid and kind of counter intuitive, but it works...
"If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the Universe"
Sorry, I meant table valued parameters, which is what I assumed Rhys was talking about (that is, pass a bunch of results to a function through a table valued parameter, then return the manipulated results as a table from the function).
I once did a mistake of writing a query with a function that takes a string, manipulates it and returns the value. The query took forever to run. Moving the logic to the query itself made it insanely faster.
On Tuesday when I went home from work there were a 30" and a 20" monitor connected to my PC. I had a day off Wednesday and came in this morning to find the 20" monitor has been swapped for another 30". It's pretty cool, I feel like I'm working in mission control now!
It's always nice having more than one monitor and having two quite large ones is nice. I don't have monitors as large as 30" but I have three 21.5" displays that I love using. I love the added screen space.