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The discussion yesterday on the English language reminds me of one of our more notable rugby commentators whose mouth was frequently disconnected from his brain. You always had to listen carefully to him to catch his gaffes. These are ALL rugby related quotes.
These quotes are from Murray Mexted, ex All Black and Rugby Gaffes expert.
"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better."
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
"There's a couple of Hores on display tonight" (the brothers Charlie Hore (Highlanders) and Andrew Hore (Hurricanes) playing on opposing teams)
"As you know, I've been pumping Marty Leslie for a couple of years now."
"You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."
"This game is a white wash, but the All Blacks are black, these no white teams!"
"I haven't had a knee operation on any other part of my body."
"He's looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline."
"Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'"
"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."
"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him"
"Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."
"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"
"Its all tied up at 14-13"
"Trapped like a shag on the rocks" (RWC07 Georgia vs Argentina)
"He ran like a bat" (RWC07 Georgia vs Argentina)
“There’s lots of hooters over here Nisbo.”
"He who hesitates......is lost."
"Both sides are here to play rugby."
A Sky TV producer was conducting a sound test before the last Springbok test at Carisbrook..."Murray can you hear me?....Murray can you hear me?" Murray: "No."
"The turf here (Newlands) never took properly and it isn't very well rooted...in fact you could say it is rooted.....did I just say that?". (N.B. rooted means something similar to screwed, a root in New Zealand/Australian slang means sex)
"Paul Tito looked like a blind man in a brothel, just left groping."
"The lineouts of course are a great artform, I've always fantisized about lineouts, even in my sleep sometimes..."
"Well it was a great kick. We know Matthew Cooper's got tremendous rhythm now, he's smooth, smooth as a baby's bum... By Joves, that didn't slip out did it?"
"It's very easy to be exposed as an open side (flanker) if you don't have your mate up your backside"
"Well it still does it for me, the tingle up the spine, the tingle in the loins"
"Isn't that an interesting scene, the two coaches, Nick Mallett and John Hart. By Joves times have changed haven't they. In the old days they'd be punching each other in that position." - (The two former coaches of the respective South African and New Zealand rugby teams were shown seated together in a grandstand).
After a 2005 British & Irish Lions series match, talking about referee Stuart Dickinson, Tony Johnson states "Stuart Dickinson had far too much to say in this match", then Murray replies "Stuart Dickinson's a bit of a dick, I think"
"And he kicks it with his left-handed foot"
Eleven minutes into the Wellington versus Canterbury game 2009 Murray announced "There's a lot to happen in this game yet"
“This is a wife. She looks happy, doesn’t she? That is because she is on her second glass of wine.”
Wives are very complicated – do not try to understand one without reading this instruction manual. You have much to learn. You will need to get to grips with chocolate, shopping, wine and them being right all the time. You will need to learn the art of deciphering hints and clues quickly; otherwise holidays and birthdays may not run smoothly. If all else fails, and especially if she really wants to talk, retreat to the roof and fix some roof tiles. --- How it Works: The Wife - Ladybirds for Grown-Ups
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
I think any sports commentator has the ability to speak gibberish - some of the cycling commentators leave me thinking 'what, wtf, wtf did that actually mean'. I suspect their brain is running faster than their mouth and there's a disconnect in the middle