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Yeah, but no.
When I have to say my name in a group my heartbeat goes to at least 200 bpm.
When I have to tell a bit about myself I forget who I am and what I do.
When I have a presentation about Azure or whatever I do not only forget who I am, but everything I ever knew.
I also start to stutter and sound like a sheep, if I say anything at all.
At school, during a co-presentation, I once hit my knee against a desk because I was shaking so hard I couldn't control my body.
It hurt like hell, and I wasn't even the one doing the talking at the time
It's not just nerves, it's a total shutdown of my brain and a complete meltdown of the rest of my body.
It's hard to talk when your heart is beating like crazy and you forget to breathe
When I have a beta blocker, I talk, make jokes, people listen and I get compliments afterwards.
You can't really practice when people expect you to perform and give a hell of a presentation
It's stupid, I know, but that's just how my body reacts to an audience
Very similar symptoms I know from my body. And what I mean with training, it is not something like do three or four times to solve it. For me it took more than a decade with very small progress in between.
Btw. did you ever check your thyroid function? Ok, in my case it was not the reason (unfortunately, because if it was it, the solution would have been be more easy).
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
I'm also not sure when I react like that.
I had a new job and after two weeks I had to show something to the team.
I already got very nervous during the talk, which was for six coworkers.
When I had a goodbye speech for five coworkers at my last job it was all good.
When I had the same speech a day later for thirty (half of which I didn't know), I cut it short before I collapsed
At another job, for a couple of coworkers, six or seven, that I all knew very well, I had the same problem.
"I had a great... time... and I... uhhh... ... ... ..."
(goddammit, I know all these people!)
"learned... a lot... things..."
(I'VE KNOWN THEM FOR YEARS!)
(OMG SAY SOMETHING, ANYTHING!)
I got nerves when I had to tell my uncle I wanted to quit his company (one on one and he's a relaxed guy so he would never hold it against me).
But during a meeting with a customer, where I had to present Azure to their IT manager and someone else from the IT team, I had no problems whatsoever.
It just makes no sense...
I'm doing pretty good for myself, but I sometimes think that if I were an extravert I'd be making millions by now
I used to be like that and just avoided situations where I had to talk to more than two or three people. But with advancing age, I somehow grew out of it (no idea how), and now I can talk to a very large crowd with hardly any shaking, and my heart tends to stay fairly normal. I wish I had some better advice to offer ...
Btw. did you noticed my note about thyroid function...
Yeah, never had it checked.
What would be wrong with it?
Have you also experienced that it is more difficult to perform in front of people you know (more or less), but it is much easier with completely strangers?
Nope, it's all pretty much the same I think.
_allow_ yourself to fail
I've failed plenty of times, that's why I now take beta blockers
One time I failed miserably in English class, much to the pleasure of my class mates.
I did a presentation on gaming and I didn't really prepare.
So I discussed the various genres, sweating, stuttering and sounding like a mix between a sheep and a goat.
They then started to ask me all kinds of silly questions, like if I ever came outside or if sat behind my computer all day.
I just rolled with it, answering like "sun, what's that?" and "you mean there's something different than gaming?"
They asked me questions until the end of that class, just to mock me.
I then got a 9 (out of 10) because "my pronunciation was correct and apparently the class liked my presentation because they kept asking questions."
The class expected me to fail, but that backfired when I got the highest grade of the class.
Those assholes were not amused
Task failed successfully!
I can tell you one thing... I'm not suffering from weight loss
I was tested for all kinds of stuff a few years ago because I was tired a lot.
Turned out to be a severe B12 deficiency, which should be back up now.
The only thing I recognize from that list of symptoms is muscle weakness, and that's probably because I'm lazy (although it's pretty bad in the morning, but that could be other problems as well).
Click on a header in the contents.
The page will go to something like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperthyroidism#Beta-blockers
The #whatever at the end is an anchor and will take you to that place in the article
I had to do a presentation of a new utility program I had written for PC-mainframe file transfers (back when this was a new thing). There were supposed to be 4 or 5 attendees so I printed off 6 copies of the hand-out just in case someone else turned up at the last minute. When I opened the door to the conference room there were 44 people in there! I had to send my manager off to photocopy the hand-outs a lot.
I was surprised by the numbers but apparently word had spread and lots of departments decided they could use my little utility.
Luckily I had previously been a professor for three years so was experienced in public speaking as it were - but even then my class was never more than 20 and spread out in a lecture hall. This was a lot of people in a conference room that had them standing around the edges as there wasn't enough chairs. I felt I had to present my info quickly because of all the people who would have to stand through it.
It all went well. I cut a 45-minute talk down to 25 minutes (and then a lot of them left) and lots of question time for those that remained.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Many years ago, my mentor at the time told me: "When you have to speak to a large group of people, imagine that you are looking out over a field of cabbages. Then address them like you are talking to a cabbage patch."
I just didn't know how to respond to that and it made things a bit awkward.
I don't think she really appreciated my advice of taking more (legal) drugs
The conversation was pretty much over after that.
My friend and I had a good laugh about it afterwards