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Not having my husband here makes it very clear what kind of abilities I have and don't have. Trying to even go for groceries has left me with panic attacks, or sent me home with empty hands.
I wanted to go to my local grocery store, but they don't do curb side pickup, they don't do delivery, and they don't organize with a 3rd party service to do so like instacart. This is an upscale grocery store catering to the granola eating types, just apparently not those with certain disabilities. I left them a 1 star yelp review.
So I have to use instacart with a busy grocery store (too busy for me to do curbside pickup, i think - i can't afford to panic while driving) that's not even nearest to me, and a place I do not like to shop for how they treat their employees, some of whom are my friends.
Is it really so hard to offer curbside pickup? I mean, you've got customers that have the money to pay for it. It's an "upscale" store as grocery stores go.
I just need my man to come home. I can't even focus on work.
But if I'm not shoeless, sitting in the parking lot rocking myself and sobbing "why do you hate me?" I'm doing okay right?
My wife can get panic attacks in crowded situations.
Obviously less severe than you have it.
She told me about it when we met many years ago, but I didn't really understand until we got stuck in a half crowded elevator for half an hour.
She has learned to avoid situations where it may happen.
Crowded buses for example is a no go.
I've also learned that it doesn't happen with a flick of a switch (except for crowded elevators), it builds up over time, with "expectations" being a very big part of it. So it's controllable to a some extent.
She's always looking for escape routes without even thinking about it.
But she always had it.
If you got it 2017, you have probably learned what triggers it.
But have you learned how much you can take?
And for how long?
I've got a fair amount of tools to deal with it, so how much I can take is improving - sometimes.
As far as getting a read on where I'm at, I can most of the time. Like, I know if going to the store will be too much for me.
As far as how long, not so much. The thing is it's very situational. I was doing okay at the grocery store the other day through most of it, and then someone got in line behind me and my heart started racing. I didn't have a panic attack that time, but some days I would have.
They only open them when it gets busy. Apparently being union, they like to keep their cashiers employed. I can understand that, but at the same time, I'd just as soon not go in the store. Besides, those checkout areas get crowded anyway. Or at least too crowded for me.
I looked into them, but I'd have needed to wake up my hubby (who is in another state right now) to get the details for our Prime Account. I ended up using InstaCart instead, but they had to go to a different grocery store than the one I usually shop at. That's fine. I thought I would have to wait, but I guess they give you priority delivery on your first order which includes delivering earlier in the day. Woo!
I used to volunteer on a help line in the UK and came across people with similar issues. One guy in particular could only go shopping between 2 and 4 AM so that he didn't meet other people. One thing it taught me is the mental health issues are primarily health issues.
Yeah I learned that too when it hit me right between the eyes in 2017. Since then I've just ... my life has gotten a lot "smaller", especially socially. It's difficult, because needing to isolate doesn't prepare you for being isolated. I'm just glad that for whatever reason, my husband doesn't trigger my anxiety.
I grew up with a guy that once spoke of a coder at his job that could do all this sorcery but couldn't order a cheeseburger.
I was a hardware guy back then (late 70s) and thought that both amusing and strange. Well, I've been coding for a while now and nothing makes me choke like ordering from a drive up window order stand. To the degree that my wife now leans over me to do the ordering if I'm driving anymore.
Can you use an upside down canoe as a hat, because it's capsized?
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