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I did notice the joke icon, but I guess I missed the funny part.
Lost in translation?
No vote from me!
OK, countered the univote!
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."
Ross Callon, The Twelve Networking Truths, RFC1925
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Don't worry, you weren't the only one...
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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 Funny.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Compare and contrast. Well, there is little to compare in fairness.
UK News[^]
Syria News[^]
OK, she's not Syrian but it highlights the difference between silly-season UK style and Middle East style. I prefer ours.
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And this is only the tip of the iceberg. I also do prefer the other European news because I can't even find solace in the Greek news anymore. In fact the last elections results are very grim as to 21 new MP belonging to a certain (excuse me Goodwin) Neo-Nazi party.
Alberto Bar-Noy
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“The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!”
(C3PO)
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A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks,
“What happened?”
His wife replies,”Margie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,
” I do not have a headache”
” I do not have a headache”
” I do not have a headache”
“Well, it Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
“Well, that is wonderful” proclaims the husband.
His wife then says,”You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don’t you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?
Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says,”Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says,”WOW! – that was wonderful!”
The husband says,”Don’t move! I will be right back.”
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning “OH MY GOD” she proclaims.
Her husband again says,”Don’t move, I”ll be right back..”
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying.
“She’s not my wife”
“She’s not my wife”
“She’s not my wife”
His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just
arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!
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A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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Excellent 
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Well, of Consett anyway!
Police to investigate[^] whether killing vermin is 'Animal Cruelty'.
Mr O'Hanlon can boast about the size of his rodents!
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
English League Tables - Live
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 "We are aware of this incident and our officers will be looking into it in due course"
I can only wonder when that's going to happen - I presume you will keep an eye on this critical investigation and keep us posted 
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If only it had been Doctor Watson instead of Brian Watson, and it had happened in Sumatra, not Consett, and it had happened in the time between the Reichenbach Falls and the return to Baker Street on the demise of Colonel Moran, then we might have another Sherlock Holmes story to add to the canon. 
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This one[^]? One of my childhood favorites...
Will Rogers never met me.
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Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.
The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the “Soft and Gentle” was.“That'd be $2.50,” said the clerk. “Too much,” mumbled the Indian, “how about the 'Gentle'?” “That one's $2,” answered the clerk. “Still too much,” complained the Indian, “anything cheaper?” “Welllll,” replied the clerk, “We do have a generic kind.” “What generic mean?” asked the Indian. “It means it doesn't have a name, and it's only 50 cents.” “Me take that,” said the Indian.
The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, “Me have name for generic toilet paper.” “Oh,” says the clerk, “what's the name?” “Me call it John Wayne... it's rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.”
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Thanks Mika
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Just lately I am more and more frequently oversleeping by about an hour. In the overall scheme of things it matters not one jot, I have nothing urgent to do, nothing that this additional hour of slumber is interfering with and of itself it doesn't bother me at a conscious level.
It's just that for whatever reason the rest of the day somehow feels weird and unsettling. It's like that feeling you get when you can't remember if you have forgotten to do something or not, except that it lasts all day.
I can't think of any more drivel to fill the echoing empty void that is the CodeProject Lounge. Although I'm sure that I will.
Henry Minute
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
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So, you're Woking1 the lounge are you?
Or perhaps a early Farnham2?
1 "Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in here for."
2 "The feeling you get about four o'clock in the afternoon when you haven't got enough done"
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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I'm jealous Henry, so very very jealous. We have a child that thinks 5am is a sleep in.
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You sure that's not just constipation? 
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Did you reset your alarm clock to BST?
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
English League Tables - Live
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Don't use one.
Henry Minute
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
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Did you just switch to hypersummer time? you shouldn't, it doesn't suit you.
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Henry Minute wrote: It's like that feeling you get when you can't remember if you have forgotten to do something or not, except that it lasts all day.
Henry, congratulations! I think that's called "middle aged."
There's a very good reason that memory is the first to go. When you get a little older, things get better, because you stop remembering if you had anything to do or not or if you needed to get up. I'm certainly much happier, at any rate.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E.
Comport Computing
Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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