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It drive me f***ing mad when coworkers or bosses assume I'm checking on weekends, especially if it's an emergency. I'm very often away from internet access, and unless they are providing me with a smartphone, my phone only takes calls and texts. Just because they are addicted to checking work e-mail doesn't mean I am, so I don't know why they assume it. A phone call will get a hold of me every time.
My little, white dog has always been easily scared (except for the time he "attacked" a German Shepherd).
However, this week he has raised the bar - 3 times I have heard him fart and seen him jump up in the air as if someone snapped a towel at him.
It's a good thing I don't freak out when I hear those sounds behind me .
A dog farting? Hah! That's nothing...
When Dij the Cat was so small he fitted neatly into your hand, he had flatulence that had to be smelled to be believed. Or preferably, not smelled. The sheer volume that kitten could fill was horrific. Unfortunately he would "release" when he got exited. And he got excited by finding us in bed trying to sleep...
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
A young man was engaged to a beautiful woman and was finally going to meet her parents.
At the front door of the woman's parents home, the young man realized he was in a state of total gastric distress. Just then the door opened and his future mother-in-law welcomed him inside.
The man had a seat on the sofa along with the family dog. "Man, if I could just fart once I would feel so much better", the man thought to himself. So he squeezed out a tiny fart and the mother yelled out "BYRON!".
Relieved that the dog had been blamed for the fart, the man figured he could get by with another larger fart. So he let out a medium sized fart and again the mother yelled out "BYRON!".
Convinced he would feel fine after one more fart he let out a large honking fart.
Almost immediately the mother yelled out "BYRON!, move away from that man before he sh*ts all over you!!!"
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
"The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness." Andre Malraux
My son has made it through USMC schooling and graduated top of his class and gained meritorious Lance Corporal (e3) and has gotten Paris Island, S. Carolina as his duty station so this morning I will be driving to S. Carolina to take my DIL and all there belongings to a condo they have rented there and to say farewell to them. For at least the next couple of years I will only see them on holidays or long weekend trips.
I feel sad because all my children are grown and living there own lives and happy because they have turned out good and am proud of them.
Can't wait to see my son though he has grown so much in the last 6 months and he is finally driven towards a goal and ready to take on life.
I'm fixin to leave and am losing the modem I'm using because I've been to BUSY to go get mine replaced and the one I'm using is making the trip to S.C. so I'll be without Internet for a few days so I want to thanks all well wishers in advanced and wondering why I didn't respond.