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ooh ooh, can I press the Scroll Lock key? Please. 
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How am i to know wether or not you can do that?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?
55378008.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pond?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pot?
Stu.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Rustle.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs no head and no torso?
Dick.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pothole?
Phil.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a barbershop floor?
Harry.
And there's more![^]
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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What do you say to a man with no arms & no legs when your watch is broken?
Have you got the time on yer c**k?
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My boss was catched by that last friday here at work. Came to me claiming about "no internet, no connection to the local network".
Took me less than 5 minutes to get it working again (checking the port light at the switch, opening a console to type "ipconfig", recognising that there was wrong a IP, trying "ipconfig /renew", problem solved).
At the weekend I read the first articles about the problem. They suggested various solutions including mine. But Microsoft still suggested to restart on their web site ...
Awkward issue:
The systems did not always connected to the DHCP server at startup. I checked the server logs here and there was no request from the affected system. So restarting might help or even not.
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Herbie Mountjoy wrote: Try restarting the PC and if that doesn't work visit their website.
By "their" did they mean apple's or ubuntu's web-site?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was sent a job spec that seemed right up my street. It's an old vb6 application that does what it should and they don't really want to replace it yet. What they do want is a link out to a reporting engine.
Generate data sets I think, maybe XML or even populate an external db. Sadly no, the Eejit running the project wants to use a certain product that I will not speak of - lets call it Chrystal Meths. I have politely said I would gladly build the interface to any third party tool they choose, but I will not go near that product.
But surely after you've built the interface it'll be easy to create the reports? "Fnufff!" was my muffled reply.
veni bibi saltavi
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: maybe XML
You lost me...
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You let them call you Shirley?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I had to, they have Clarence. 
veni bibi saltavi
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Roger, they had Clarence.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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And he can bugger off as well!
veni bibi saltavi
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Did you ever play one of the SpaceQuest games? They had a character named Roger Wilco.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Wasn't the main character Roger Wilco? Plus it also had two guys from Andromeda!
Series is still one of my favorites, kind of lost its way after number three though.
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Right. Roger Wilco was the main character. I might pull my old Atari ST out of the shelf tonight and look for one of the Space Quests in my disk box.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I'm waiting for Space Venture to finish development (I went in on the kickstarter).
The Two Guys from Andromeda are still around, even though Sierra isn't
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I hunted high and low for the full version of "Space Quest X: Latex Babes of Estros", but no ... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Then you must live with 'Space Quest 6: The Spinal Frontier' 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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How about SQ3?
Roger eventually discovers the sinister activities of a video game company known as ScumSoft, run by the "Pirates of Pestulon".
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Charming!! What have I done to offend you?
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C'mon, the report engine to which you refer isn't that bad!  What report engine would you prefer to work with?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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In such cases I am asking for a raise and some benefits like a new PC and snacks. 
Maybe it is time to take some drugs to get ready for this dirty job.
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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Agile software development[^]
I'm currently in a situation where I constantly run into changing requirements, "misunderstandings" (=other name for changing requirements, but I get the blame), dependencies on moving targets, ...
When I challenged the person in charge (for the lack of design) I got: Yes, but you don't know, and have no experience in, the methodology we're using here. Personally I believe agile is a methodology invented by managers who failed to understand the importance of design and documentation. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure this person has no clue about any methodology, bu rather "goes with the flow".
Though I see a benefit in using this when doing prototyping and/or proof of concepts, I fail to see any value when doing real (operational) products which could (and should) be defined.
Opinions?
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