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"In light of the negative six degree temperature this morning, I thought I would remind you... If you get cold, stand in a corner because they are always 90°. Right?"
He is still working in a portable building set up in the parking lot of the TV station where he works, with a porta-potty outside - the bosses say it may be a couple of months before they can get the building usable after the earthquake.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, navigate a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects! - Lazarus Long
Did I write this, or did I steal it from one of you, 6 years ago?
Some guys are born with a fundamental, genetically transmitted mental condition known to psychologists as:
The Fear That If You Get Attached to a woman, Some Unattached Guy, Somewhere, Will Be Having More Fun Than You.
This is why some married guys assume that the unmarried guys lead lives of excitement involving hot tubs full of naked international fashion models; whereas in fact for most unmarried guys, the climax of the typical evening is watching an infomercial for Hair-in-a-Spraycan while eating onion dip straight from the container.
So those guys are extremely reluctant to make commitments, or even to take steps that might lead to commitment. This is why, when one of those guys goes out on a date with a woman and finds himself really liking her, he often will demonstrate his affection by avoiding her for the rest of his life.
Women are puzzled by this, "I don't understand," they say, "We had such a great time! Why doesn't he call?"
The reason is that the guy, using the linear guy thought process, has realized that if he takes her out again, he'll probably like her even more, so he'll take her out again, and eventually they'll fall in love with other, and they'll get married, and they'll have children, and then they'll have grandchildren, and eventually they'll retire and take a trip around the world, and they'll be walking hand-in-hand on some spectacular island in the South Pacific, reminiscing about the lifetime of experiences they've shared together, and then several naked international fashion models will walk up and invite him to join them in a hot tub, and he won't be able to do it.
We won't sit down.
We won't shut up.
We won't go quietly away.
Weirdly, since I got married I have many more naked international fashion models after me than before. ...or, at least, many fairly attractive fully clothed women appear to be expressing an interest in me - they start conversations with me or compliment me on my clothing or red hair (not so much these days since its gone grey) or something.
Being married, I, of course, rebuff these offers with aplomb but still...
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
I'm lucky, no matter what I do, I never reduce the number of naked international fashion models surrounding me. So far, that number has held steadily at zero. I've never experienced even the slightest reduction