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Javascript - a clown car with octagonal tires where the GPS is a rear view mirror air freshener that just says "turn right."
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I don't think anyone can argue with that! 
/ravi
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Python - A scooter (the one on which the driver stands)
"Five fruits and vegetables a day? What a joke!
Personally, after the third watermelon, I'm full."
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PHP - the "short bus"
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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Pascal - A collectors car 
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COBOL: Pony and trap.
FORTRAN: Coach and four.
VB: Engine from a big rig, sawn in half and on the roof;
Chassis stolen from a Ford Fiesta;
1 wheel & tire from a Fiesta, one from a Ferrari, one from tractor, and the last one waiting for Phase Two development (Currently in Phase 6).
Doors, windows, hood, trunk, exhaust: removed for performance.
All held together with spit, baling wire, and huge amounts of still wet concrete.
Not because of the language (though that's revolting enough: On Error Resume Next ensures that) but the users who think they are developers ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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codejet wrote: VB.NET - Driving automatic Transmission Vehicle
C# -Driving manual transmission Vehicle
I can kind of see how this works if you consider line breaks...
That said, I now prefer automatics...one less thing to worry about. 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/13/smarter-living/how-to-answer-common-difficult-interview-questions.html[^]
But please note that if you ever apply for a position where I would have to interview you, I would never be so f***ing stupid as to ask any of those questions.
I'm well aware that asking you what your favourite number is would be about as useful, but, unfortunately, not everyone (especially the "everyone" that populates HR departments) has the brainpower or experience to realise that.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: Is "walk out" an option?
Always. I've done so on several occasions.
If what they want is 19-year-old half-educated idiots, they shouldn't ask experienced professionals to turn up.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Amen brother.
I once had a recruiter call me about a "great opportunity." He began describing the kind of work in a recruiter kind of way, and I interrupted him. "Is this for <company name="">?" He said, "Yes", and I said "no elephanting way." His head promptly exploded and wanted an explanation. I had earlier applied to this company, had a great interview with the engineers, but the chief architect and the project manager were such pricks, they should apply at Trojan.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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Listening to the USA president this pm, he said that Google has been contracted to provide a website where all Americans can enter their symptoms and get approval and directions on where to proceed to a drive-through test station where they will be swabbed for evaluation. Google is apparently putting 1,700 programmers on the job. This will have to be one helluva website to handle tens of thousands of queries almost simultaneously. 
modified 13-Mar-20 16:35pm.
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I can smell the failure from here.
Nothing spreads germs faster than a drive-through.
Shouldn't they have said they'd put 1337 developers on it? 
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1337
I am one of them! That is when I get up in the mornings. No uni no work this week.
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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Cp-Coder wrote: a website where all Americans can enter their symptoms and get approval and directions on where to proceed to a drive-through test station where they EIGHT OF THEM will be swabbed for evaluation
If a psychopathic, certain-coloured, inveterate liar told me to entrust my medical details to a corporation that has proven that it is perfectly willing to do evil for profit, then you can be pretty sure that I'd be washing my hair, that evening.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
modified 13-Mar-20 17:53pm.
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I thought for a long time that I could never agree with you. Times are changing 
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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I disagree entirely!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Fake news!
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1700 points of failure. Or 1700 reasons to bill for Google Maps.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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Cp-Coder wrote: This will have to be one helluva website to handle tens of thousands of queries almost simultaneously
Meh. It's not like Google is a stranger to this sort of thing.
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Precisely! Which is why they were chosen.
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The Lounge[^]
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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Welcome to reality.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Me.
This morning I was sitting in the train, eating a croissant. Then an asteroid hit the other seat and I was was launched upwards. When I landed, I saw that we had not been hit by an asteroid. It was just a land whale that was getting compfortable and oozing over to my seat.
I had choked a little on the last bite of the croissant an coughed, which earned me a look from the land whale. And that gave me a very evil idea how to get rid of it. I suddently felt ill. Very ill. My performance must have been good. In less than 30 seconds the land whale felt the urgent need to get away from me. Surprising how fast such a ball of blubber can run.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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CodeWraith wrote: Surprising how fast such a ball of blubber can run.
Roll. Balls roll, they don't run.
Perhaps the train going downhill at the time?
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