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I've heard of adult adoption also being used to obtain citizenship for the adoptee.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: Depending on where you live it might add a lot of economic and social stability.
Exactly, it's an economic contract.
In the Netherlands I believe you can obtain the same with a cohabitation contract.
Beyond the economic contract I don't get it.
You know, the standard girl's dream, big day, rituals, rings, through sickness and health, blah blah... Until the divorce anyway.
In the Netherlands you can get married for free at the city hall on Monday.
In, out, always prenub, and have that contract dealt with.
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Sander Rossel wrote: You know, the standard girl's dream, big day, rituals, rings, through sickness and health, blah blah... Until the divorce anyway.
I guess that was never my sister's thing. She got married in my folk's backyard in the presence of them, myself, and a priest. And yeah, today she's divorced. Lasted a whole, I think, 6 years.
She'd never admit it, but to me it's this simple: She spent 11 years with her first boyfriend, then when it became clear, as she was reaching her mid-30s, that she wasn't ever going to change his mind about not having kids, she got hitched to the first poor SOB who came along, got the kid she wanted, divorced him, he served his purpose, wham, bam, thank you sir, and they're now divorced. I actually feel more sorry for the guy than her, but at least she let him off easy, financially. By all legal rights she could've made his life a whole lot more difficult.
Yet another way to convince me I've done the right thing. I want nothing to do with that sort of crap, and I've seen it all but too often.
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I absolutely do not want children, so I guess I'm good 
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Sander Rossel wrote: tax benefits
Ding ding ding ding ding!!
That's how I've come to view marriage. And considering the risks (more than 50% nowadays end up in divorce), I'd rather continue doing my own thing, thank-you-very-much.
And when people tell me that's a sad way to look at things, I say keep that sympathy for those who were taken to the cleaners in a nasty divorce process. I can cite enough examples to make anyone weep.
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I've been with my missus for about 35 years and raised two kids. Neither of us saw any advantage in getting married as here in NZ there's no tax, social or whatever benefit and there certainly been no disadvantages.
It does not change the way we behavior, respect or treat each other. We just saw marriage as a meaningless religious symbolic bureaucracy.
A Fine is a Tax for doing something wrong
A Tax is a Fine for doing something good.
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RossMW wrote: here in NZ there's no tax, social or whatever benefit
How it should be! 
RossMW wrote: We just saw marriage as a meaningless religious symbolic bureaucracy.
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Do you get along with your best friend ALL the time?
Marriage is like that, you can get out of sorts with your partner but there is enough love and friendship to get past differences and make up. The bond grows stronger through these situations.
Been married for 32 years to my best friend and I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
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Agreed, this is how it should be.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
Honest question: Has anyone ever found himself to be a situation where she admitted being the idiot and hurt you? That always seems to be so one-sided. The old joke, and it is one of them, is that it's always the guy who's wrong, no exception.
I make mistakes and I'll own up. But it has to go both ways. Otherwise one of the two is pretending, and I refuse to play that game if those are the rules.
(says the happily single guy)
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I mean, my wife regularly apologizes to me for when she's hurt me, and I apologize to her for when I've hurt her. That's just being a mature person.
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She's one of the few.
I hate to generalize, but...
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Yes she has.
Sorry in the delay responding, I'm on vacation.
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Marriage is great. I married a cheerleader and she has continued to be a cheerleader for everything I do. She is also an amazing cook and highly intelligent allowing for some great conversations and a happy time together. My son will be 32 next birthday and just sent a thank you note to us for all that we have done for him - although most of it came from my wife and she deserves the thanks.
On the other hand, my son's wonderful girlfriend is living with us, looks after him, helps my wife keep up the house and cuts our all our hair (she is a professional hairdresser who cannot work right now). My son says they aren't interested in marriage, they'll just live together. Whatever works.
These are different times from 30-odd years ago. As long as everyone is happy, that's what one should do.
The jokes are still funny though.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I'm the same age as your son and lived with my girlfriend (now my wife) under my parents roof for a long stretch (5 years).
I thank you too, because the possibility of living together while starting up is pure gold and speaks a lot on the kind of parent you are!
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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He has a large part of his student loan still to pay (in the US, students/parents are on their own financially - it's a mess) so living at home helps with his bills. he was reluctant to come back at first but now he's happy he did.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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In Italy at 30 you're considered a beginner and offered stages paying well below the cost of an apartment rent in high crime areas or a room rent elsewhere.
I've been lucky (and opportunist) to start working at 24 but I could never live alone with what I was paid, took me exactly 5 years to manage to move out in a ridiculously cheap apartment (it's worth a lot but it's cheap, I've been exceptionally lucky, 2 days window of opportunity which I narrowly missed but since I've made a good impression on the owner I manage to get it noetheless) with my girlfriend.
It has been all the help I ever needed in the moment I needed it the most. In further 5 years the situation got so bright I lent my dad 10k to expand the house without a second thought, but all thanks to them.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Yes and no.
The right to complain and especially joke on marriage is sacred, marriage does have its quirks.
ZurdoDev wrote: I suppose for some of you, maybe it is torture AND the best relationship at the same time.
I think that to be married you have to love the other person a lot, but also hate a bit: otherwise why marry when you can just be togehter?
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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We tend to make jokes about subjects that make us uncomfortable. This is why sex and death are the eternal funny subjects.
As for marriage, it involves living in very close proximity to someone whose fundamental thought processes differ from ours. For example, my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions. No wonder we tell jokes about it!
We've survived 19 years and two teenage girls, so we can't be doing too badly...
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions
That's so simple, yet tremendously insightful. If I commiserate to somebody else, typically it's because I'm fishing for solutions, as I have very little practical use for sympathy. Whereas if I have a solution, then that means in the future I can proactively work at avoiding altogether whatever got me down in the first place. Wanting sympathy, but not looking for solutions, simply means the situation will be repeating itself.
That's the problem-solver in me speaking.
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ZurdoDev wrote: With all of the "marriage sucks" jokes lately
Oh, they were posted as jokes? Damn...
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my $0.02
Caveat: just completed 59 years. Great, if not perfect, life. Would do it again. I think, though, I would have my grandchildren first, they are more fun than children.
I think you could add some legal ramifications.
Yes, in most, if not all parts of this country, you can coexist without marriage.
I told my daughters that doing so could significantly reduce their options if the coexist partner walks out leaving them behind.
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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theoldfool wrote: my $0.02
Where do I send the check?
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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ZurdoDev wrote: Why do people keep getting married if it's such torture?
It is easy... to solve problems that one doesn't have living alone.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: to solve problems that one doesn't have living alone.
Like what? I can open my own pickle jars. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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