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RantA Further Decline In Civilization Pin
W Balboos, GHB1-Oct-20 4:29
mveW Balboos, GHB1-Oct-20 4:29 
GeneralRe: A Further Decline In Civilization Pin
Mike Hankey1-Oct-20 4:44
professionalMike Hankey1-Oct-20 4:44 
GeneralPersonal bidet Pin
Ravi Bhavnani1-Oct-20 13:32
professionalRavi Bhavnani1-Oct-20 13:32 
GeneralRe: Personal bidet Pin
Greg Utas1-Oct-20 13:57
professionalGreg Utas1-Oct-20 13:57 
GeneralRe: Personal bidet Pin
Ravi Bhavnani2-Oct-20 9:08
professionalRavi Bhavnani2-Oct-20 9:08 
GeneralRe: Personal bidet Pin
W Balboos, GHB2-Oct-20 3:39
mveW Balboos, GHB2-Oct-20 3:39 
GeneralRe: Personal bidet Pin
Ravi Bhavnani2-Oct-20 9:06
professionalRavi Bhavnani2-Oct-20 9:06 
RantWhat if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
5teveH1-Oct-20 4:18
Member5teveH1-Oct-20 4:18 
It's October, so pretty soon it will be Xmas adverts time - which I hate with a passion. To be honest, TV ads wind me up all year round, but the Xmas perfume ads are the pinnacle of pointless and annoying. So what would happen if these guys were put in charge of software development?

1. We need mystery. For the first two minutes of being on your new website, the user will be totally clueless about what it does! There will be no obvious aids for navigation. The user is going to have to move the cursor randomly around the screen until they hit something that might be clickable.

2. Grab attention. We need some 'edgy' background music, (that sounds like the police have raided an illegal rave?), and something that flashes enough to cause an epileptic fit.

3. Create a talking point. Let's go with scrolling a pointless, random statement across the screen, which only the marketing/advertising guys 'get'! Here's a starter: “Impossible Is Nothing”.

4. Be bold. No more dark blue on white, sans serif text, in nice orderly columns.We are going with garish typography and clashing colors, splattered randomly across the page.

5. Login is mandatory. Yes, even just to see the home page! Harvesting personal data is the primary aim, so no-one is going to see anything until we know their shoe size and overdraft limit. Don't worry about https, password fields, or storing data securely - or the fact that most visitors are going to think: "Log In? F*** that!". That's not a priority. Getting the orange to black background gradient is the priority!

6. Make it identical to your competitors. "I see what you've done here guys, but it looks nothing like Chanel's Payroll SaaS offering. Let's loop back and ...."

I'm not going to apologise to any marketing/Advertising people on here, (hopefully there aren't any!), as they will only have read the bits in bold - and will probably think this is a handy checklist for when they apply for the Head of IT job. Smile | :)
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
musefan1-Oct-20 4:22
Membermusefan1-Oct-20 4:22 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
Daniel Pfeffer1-Oct-20 4:27
professionalDaniel Pfeffer1-Oct-20 4:27 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
Greg Utas1-Oct-20 5:12
professionalGreg Utas1-Oct-20 5:12 
JokeRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
Nelek1-Oct-20 11:51
protectorNelek1-Oct-20 11:51 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
Mike Winiberg1-Oct-20 21:13
professionalMike Winiberg1-Oct-20 21:13 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
Ed Attfield2-Oct-20 4:04
MemberEd Attfield2-Oct-20 4:04 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
SeattleC++2-Oct-20 7:56
MemberSeattleC++2-Oct-20 7:56 
GeneralRe: What if... Marketing/Ad people ran software development? Pin
markrlondon3-Oct-20 13:47
Membermarkrlondon3-Oct-20 13:47 
Generalstartup idea Pin
MaryDes1-Oct-20 4:24
MemberMaryDes1-Oct-20 4:24 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
W Balboos, GHB1-Oct-20 4:59
mveW Balboos, GHB1-Oct-20 4:59 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
ZurdoDev1-Oct-20 5:03
mveZurdoDev1-Oct-20 5:03 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
Mycroft Holmes1-Oct-20 12:22
professionalMycroft Holmes1-Oct-20 12:22 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
BryanFazekas2-Oct-20 2:27
MemberBryanFazekas2-Oct-20 2:27 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
Mycroft Holmes2-Oct-20 12:03
professionalMycroft Holmes2-Oct-20 12:03 
GeneralRe: startup idea Pin
BryanFazekas3-Oct-20 7:53
MemberBryanFazekas3-Oct-20 7:53 
GeneralOngoing survey - Graphical View Pin
Sandeep Mewara1-Oct-20 2:29
mentorSandeep Mewara1-Oct-20 2:29 
GeneralDon't know if anyone has posted this yet but... Pin
glennPattonInThePubAgain!1-Oct-20 1:43
professionalglennPattonInThePubAgain!1-Oct-20 1:43 

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