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I hate to Harpy on the subject, and it might seem to be a bitter pill to swallow, but if you keep posting bad puns you might need to seek eagle advice. You may tern the tables though, because as we know, toucan play at that game.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
I hate doing minutes of a meeting. At one job they asked me to do the minutes for a regular weekly project meeting. So I did them my way, with the spin I wanted. I quoted people exactly but a little out of context. I quoted people making sarcastic comments about intentions and progress. Written down it came across as the opposite of the point they were trying to make, but they couldn't deny that it was *exactly* what they had said. It was a bit like someone saying, "This is a fine country we live in." Try saying that in different tones of voice and it means the exact opposite of what another tone of voice professes.
They could not complain about the accuracy of my minutes ...but they *never* asked me to do it again, yay!
What have you done to avoid something?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Back when we had to "go out" for laundry I just overfilled the machines. Pregnant Mrs. told me I could fit it in 4 and I proudly returned telling her it fit in two. She still remembers and I'm still not allowed to do laundry.
a friend at the office washed his dirty laundry at his sisters. she had one of those machines that wash and dry. once, he told me, his sister was in a hurry, she had to leave and let him do the job. she said something like - i have set the machine, all you have to do is put detergent and the dirty cloths then press play.
he did that and decided to go for a walk around the block. when he got back to take the now clean and dry laundry, he said the whole building had a chemical smell. when he opened the machine his cloths were like plasterboard.
as he stood there wondering what happened, his sister came back and yelled at him "what have you done?! how much detergent have you put inside?"
he said i put it all, why? doesn't this thing know how much detergent it needs?! when i put gasoline in my motorbike i fill it up and the motor takes what it needs...
at first this sounded so crazy and funny to me, but i realized he was right. after 60 years of washing machines, someone must have fixed this.
i remembered all the times a have looked at the machine UI and wondered, why did they marked this function so? why is there a container for detergent marked 1 and 2, but you almost always have to put the soap in 2? if 1 is some special case that is seldomly used, why didn't they marked it 0?
No, no - you want to be the guy doing the minutes!
Remember, the minutes are the official record of what was discussed and what was agreed at the meeting.
And what tasks were given to which attendee.
So the guy who write the minutes effectively has all the power - he can allocate what he wants where and provided it doesn't jibe too badly with general recollections (and most people don't listen to anything in a meeting, they are planning what they want to say) it's what the meeting decided, Joe - so get on with it!
If you do get called out on something, just apologise, say that's what you thought was decided, and you must have written it down wrong ...
Doing the minutes is an excellent way to get out of jobs ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
Meetings; and I simply said "no, will not be there". I dislike meetings that are there just for form. If you have questions, I wants a mail that gives me a copy of what you want and your wording. No need to meet for that.
At my last place, we meeted an hour per day, minimum. Standing of course, cause you don't want to seem passive. We active, engaging, committed, and fakkin bored.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.