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Too simple. Some kind of case structure of if/then/elseif makes for longer and harder maintainable code...
Because that's the goal, right? To make yourself indispensable??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 12-Aug-15 9:18am.
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Take it to "Weird and Wonderful"
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That is indeed where it belongs. I had forgotten about that forum... 
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It doesn't get nearly enough use.
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I was reminded of these types of quiz (from my youth where they were the staple of many a comic) but found some of my acquaintances had never experienced them!
So here you go!
What am I?
My first is in Project and also in Code
My second's in Oracle, and in Toad
My third is in Import but not in export
My fourth's in Exception but never in caught
My fifth is in Dump But not in Core
My sixth is in Fortran and also in Forth
My seventh in Disk Drive but not SSD
My last is in Sergey and also Larry
My whole is the reason that we all are here
And I don't mean god, Quetzalcoatl or beer!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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My first is in oec - C
My second's in Oa - O
My third is in Im - M
My fourth's in Exepion - P
My fifth is in Dump - U
My sixth is in Fort - T
My seventh in ikrive - E
My last is in ry - R
My whole is the reason that we all are here
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Rage wrote: My whole is the reason that we all are here
Wait ... what? I thought this was the Bacon Appreciation Society!
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We came for the Computers - we stayed for the Bacon
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Clickety[^]
Hope to God it can receive pizza deliveries as well!
If so, Shut up and take my money!!! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Unless men will stop to marry women, there is no business case for something like that.
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Ooooh, you will burn in hell for that comment! 
I like it!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Hell may not be such a bad place, when I consider the 72... waiting for me in heaven hell suddenly becomes more interesting.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Good point, but civilian hell (also known as capitalist hell) are really bad. If you have a choice, then take military hell or communist hell.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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There are not enough female personages of the correct persuasion for all men to marry and those men that do marry are doing so much later in life than they used to. I reckon there's a more than plentiful demographic in those who have not yet got wives and those who used to have them but don't any longer - especially the latter as they know what they're missing!
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We have a lot of fun over _Maxxx_'s efforts to create the clue - we should have to pay him back...Any ideas...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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![Beer | [beer]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif)
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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"It's payback time, Mister 'O'Donnell'" (might have been one for V.).
The best reward is to not answer it and let him go on 
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Fortunately Mr. Bond is somewhat kinder and has put me out of my misery...
Question is, what to do with the other six I thought up?
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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No than...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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while lack of makes me sad, it is preferable to an eternity of ASCII art clues 
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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:c(|)
5 Letters.
clue: Doh!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Iliad?
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Clever!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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