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I am a complete wreck today !! . Know why ??
My wife and my mom are fighting everyday . Though my mom can be blamed for few mecheivious acts , I feel my wife is unnecessarily
adament on silly issues . I , now a days , go home very very late in the evening . And come to office on saturdays also .
I know I am harming my mental/physical health by over work and I am an escapist from reality .
I talked to my wife to make her think reasonably , but no positive results ...She is yelling at my mom for silly matters...
Finally I came to know I have lost of peace of mind...
I dont understand how people can be so ununderstandable to the fact that I am the breadwinner of the family I NEED PEACE of MIND above all ???
Why is this happening . I am totally at loss of ideas . In the office people are asking me why I am unusually dull . Some even smelled something is wrong in my family . I am very depressed . There is an air of sympathy on me now in the eyes of my collegues.
Has anyone solved such kinda issues ? or Am I taking to much into heart ?...
For past 3 days I stopped coding ....simply looking at the screen ...asking myself WHY shd it happen to me only ???? when everybody else is happily married ...
redindian
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Without knowing more detail it is difficult to advise but my thoughts are:-
Your wife and mother are competing for a scarce resource - you - which is why they are fighting. You need to reassure both that you are not "choosing between them" in allocating your time (or indeed earnings).
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yes you are true ..
My friends say mothers become insecure once wife comes ...
and wives becomes insecure once the mothers come to live with thier husbands ...
But in my case , all my money , home affairs , even considerations are given only to my wife - my mom is a non-entity as far as household stuffs are concerned. Still my wife is stupidly creating issues ..
People say every propblem has a solution ..
I have learning how to fix a worst memory leak , dangling pointer bugs spending weeks ..but i never mastered the art of keeping the balance at house ...
I am sure I am a soft spoken , understanding husband to my wife . Today also I asked her calmly to share with me any problems she wants me to talk out with my mom ...she refuses to reason with actions and also continues to yell at all of us ..including me ....
Life is a wreck
redindian
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dharani wrote:
People say every propblem has a solution ..
Yes, and most of the problems the answer is.... time
"He that is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail."
- Abraham Maslow
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dharani wrote:
My wife and my mom are fighting everyday
Really very Sad Story, Though I amnot married but i can understand your situation (Wouldn't want t give reason why? pls).
Do u have Kids? if no, then have atleast one., this will certainly going to reduce problem at your Home... It's time tested formulae... try it.. as small children always bringer of peace and harmony in family..!
"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change what influences your opinion." - David Crow
cheers,
Alok Gupta
VC Forum Q&A :- I/ IV
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for me, the key of happiness is the word... we always talk together (with my girlfriend - i'm not married) but as soon as something embarrasing happens, talking together decreases the difficulty. i don't know why your wife refuses to talk, and what's going on between her and your mother, but you should talk with each separately to understand her visions of the problem...
if you don't, you won't know why it's like that, and if you can't know, you won't solve the problem...
maybe this have dark/deep reasons (maybe the time you spend at work) but as i advise you, you won't know if all these words are not spoken down.
what you could do after having words bith both separately is having a discussion all together (yep, your wife, your mom and you) where you could take the rule of a mediator, giving the speak time to each, and forbidding the voice level to increase...
d'you understand what i suggest ?
have peace and courage,
![Rose | [Rose]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/rose.gif)
TOXCCT >>> GEII power
[toxcct][VisualCalc]
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Let me get this right - your mother LIVES with you ? Why ?
Here's a newsflash for you - when you got married, you chose to build a family with your wife. If your mother doesn't like that, if they don't get along, you need to either stand by your wife, or divorce her. If you just run to work, then they will keep fighting and hoping that you'll make a stand for one or the other. Be a man. Otherwise, be ready for an unhappy life.
Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++
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Been there done that...
Do yourself a favour, and get to understand what your wife and mother really want.
There is an excellent book written by Susan Forward, called "Toxic parents"
ISBN - 0 - 553 - 38140 - 7
This will give you a good insight, but needs you to be mentally strong and make choices that you can live with.
Best of luck.
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i read your story.i am unmarried but i saw same situation at my relatives family.
as many indians have joint families so this problem is comman.
i will suggest u few thinks.
a)Send your mother at some holy or picnic places for a few days or u & your wife make plan for tour.
by changing your daily routines & going for the tours your mind will be get fresh.
b) tell your mother & wife that their current behaviour will directly affect your job.
c) for u just start the day with love,fill the day with love & end the day with love.
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//U are not he only person facing such situation & what ur doing is i think what
//a normal person might have done in his life. I strongly belive that Time is the
//solution for any dam big problem , So pls be patient divert ur attention to
//some other work.
//Look when people grow old they are insecure about their importence
//Young people are more egoistic.
//If both get their importence & ego satisfied then the problem is solved.
//let your mom feel that she is important
//make your wifes ego satisfied , take her out some time
//One best solution make your wife to do JOB
//One thing i can do is to pray god for your family
//Can do " Gayatri Yagna "
Vikas Amin
Embin Technology
Bombay
vikas.amin@embin.com
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Hi, I have a question about Microsoft exam. Currently I got MCP which exam from an institute that have a partnership with PeasonVUE (Microsoft authorize testing center). At the time that I get an exam I have to pay for Microsoft in order to have an exam. Now this institute is change far away from my hometown. But I need to earn more certificate but there is no authorize testing center near the place that I live. My question is, Is it possible for me to pay an exam fee for Microsoft online and I could do my own exam at home via my internet connection at home??? Please give me an advice in order to make a preparation for an exam.
A thousand mile of journey, begin with the first step.
APO-CEDC
Save Children Norway-Cambodia Office
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As far as I know, you cannot take MS exams from home. You have to go to an authorized testing center.
Mads
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Thank you very much for your comment. So I have to travel to microsoft authorize testing center whether it is far away from my hometown.
MCP
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I suggest sending your question to mcphelp@microsoft.com.
"One must learn from the bite of the fire to leave it alone." - Native American Proverb
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FOR ASP.NET Programmer in MUMBAI , INDIA:
Educational Qualification : BE , MCA
Programming Languages : ASP.NET , JavaScript , HTML ,
Tools : VS.NET , Enteprise Manager , SQL Query Analyser.
Databases : MS SQL , Access
Others :
a) Strong OOPS knowledge.
b) Good understanding of the various phases in SDLC
c) Understanding of the 3 - Tier Architecture and its implementation.
d) Excellent Communication Skills.
e) Strong Grasping power.
The key objectives of your role would be (ASP.NET Programmer)
1) Provide technical ownership for subcomponents (code, functional validity and quality) of an identified effort.
2) Be a part of the entire project effort.
3) Perform complex software development tasks within appropriate schedule, task, and quality guidelines set in conjunction with the Lead Analyst /Project Manager of the project.
4) Involve in activities like Database Design , Class Design and various design stages and make suitable contributions.
5) Apply OOPS concepts to the Developed code.
6) Speedy Problem solving / error debugging
INTERESTED CANDIDATES MAIL YOUR RESUME TO ASHUTOSH on jobs@cyberbackoffice.com
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Mr. Mister wrote:
Programming Languages : ASP.NET , JavaScript , HTML ,
ASP.NET is not a programming language. VB.NET and C# are. ASP.NET is a framework.
Mr. Mister wrote:
Strong Grasping power.
You want someone with big muscles ?
Mr. Mister wrote:
Provide technical ownership for subcomponents (code, functional validity and quality) of an identified effort.
ROTFL - what does this MEAN ?
Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++
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We will be Interested, please contact me.
Tapas Shome
System Software Engineer
Keen Computer Solutions
1408 Erin Street
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canada R3E 2S8
ww.keencomputer.com
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As it happens, I am an ASP.NET programmer, and I do accept contract work, but while I am in Las Vegas right now, I am based in Australia. I was more pointing out inconsistencies in your ad than applying, but if you want to offer me work, by all means, I'm listening....
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I created a new WMI classes in WMI namespace by using the mof file . MOF file have the following content.
[WMI,
guid("{c74aece4-468b-4113-b006-0caadc968ac4}")]
class DSM_PATH_INFO {
[WmiDataId(1)] uint32 pID;
[WmiDataId(2)] boolean active;
};
class WMI_LIST_INSTANCE
{
[WmiDataId(1)] uint32 NumberOfinstance;
[WmiDataId(2),
Description("Array of DSM_PATH_INFO classes"),
WmiSizeIs("NumberOfinstnce")
] DSM_PATH_INFO pathList[];
};
class DSM_WMI_METHOD
{
[WmiMethodId(1),
Static, Implemented,
Description("Get names for Given GroupId")
] void DsmGetPathsForGroup(
[in] uint32 GroupId,
[out] WMI_LIST_INSTANCE pList
);
};
these are the class i have in WMI namespace .I am using COM API to call a method "DsmGetPathsForGroup" in DSM_WMI_METHOD class and then I am getting "WMI_LIST_INSTANCE" instance as a output.but i dont know how to access the members in "WMI_LIST_INSTANCE" instnce and then I dont know how to access the pathList[] array in "WMI_LIST_INSTNCE" instnce.
Any help would be great.because of this problem my work was stuck.
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I am Programming for a Desktop File Search Software in Pocket 2003.
I use .NET CF.
How Can I Get Text from A Pocket Office File?
Please Help Me,Thank !
zzzzzzz
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I am a Certified Microsoft Techie with 10 years of experience in various Ms Technologies returned from US a year ago. Recently I joined one top CMM5 level company in India as an Architect. I have more than 12 years experience in IT field. I have played various roles like Lead developer, BA and Tech lead. Have fair exposure to project management techniques. My current company wants me to report to Project managers with 5-6 years experience, who are technically feeble and have fair Project management skills. That is hurting my professional pride/ego.
I am just wondering about organizational hierarchy in other companies. I.e. Do all Architects need to work under PMs?
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Project Management and Architect are two different roles.
Yes, architects report to project managers in the normal course of events.
This is "a good thing", as they have different goals. The architect's job is to design the right approach to the system and then see that it is followed. The project manager's job is to balance business results desired vs. capability, cost and time to deliver them.
Yes, project managers have poor-to-fair project management skills and feeble technical skills in the normal course of events. (That doesn't make it right, it's just a recognition of reality.)
So, unless you are the project manager AND the architect, you can plan on most projects being managed by people who lack the skills to do the job right.
Be happy when you get a good project manager, treat them right, and do great work for them. That way, they will insist on you for their next project.
David Wendelken
davewendelken@earthlink.net
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With a very nice company in Arlington Va, feel free to send me your resume. The companies name is Interstate hotels and resorts.
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Hi,
I am actually working in an internationnal company in VB.NET application
in the position of responsible in development project and small team .
I am Microsoft certified in WinXp and VB.NET
Actually preparing to my next exam to MCAD and the goal of MCSD.
I am well organised and serious.
My work actually in the current company is quite calm and I am looking for small project I can work on during my spare time, this with 2 main objectives
- be able to manage a project through internet
- discover some other area
I do not know if I could help you in your task but who knows
please not that I speak fluently english
experience is made also from others
Thanks to contact me if any interrest at serge.calderara@tiscali.fr
Thanks for help
Regards
______________________________
Serge Calderara
MCP(XP & VB.NET)
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