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That is how long it took from posting my advert for my car on Gumtree to the first phone call.
I have a man coming at 1.00pm to look it over.
Tonight I pick up my new car, a Jag!
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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I think you'll find the correct name is "Sajaginnit"
speramus in juniperus
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I think you'll find the correct name is "Tata"
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Dalek Dave wrote: Tonight I pick up my new car, a Jag!
Oh dear. Which one are you getting? Bearing in mind that I had nothing but trouble with my XK - ended up returning it within 6 weeks.
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One of these[^]
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Yours is sexier!
A few years ago I used to pootle about in one of These[^]
It was a 6.0L V12 and did about 7mpg.
But by god it was wonderful.
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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When it's broken down at the office because of glitches in the EMS, trust me, it's not sexy.
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Is this[^] your old one?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Last night we had breaded pork with stuffed peppers for dinner. The peppers were a simple Hungarian variety called Alma Paprika and every time I use them I forget - ALMA does indeed mean apple, but in this case it refers to the peppers' small size and shape, and not that it is sweet.
Filia Maximus took a nibble and refused it, Minimus ate half and then called a Scotty0. Mrs Wife was fine with two but wanted no more. The Vilmos was thus left with his two plus another 13/4 to eat. I did. They were good.
Today they are "not so good" going out. Remember guys, Capsicum can burn both ways.
0 The engines canna take it!
speramus in juniperus
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Clever tactics.
Capsicum, alas, can continue to burn long after the initial assault on the taste buds has ended.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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They are actually a nice pepper, just a tad hot. Hotter than jalapenos I know that.
speramus in juniperus
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We used to keep a spare roll in the freezer for just such occasions. 
Years ago, we had a cat called "Microwave the cat in orange sauce" - don't ask, it's a long story - and I brought home a bag of small, very hot chillies from the Chinese Supermarket and spread them out to dry on a tray.
Micro stole one, and proceeded to eat it (he was that kind of cat). For the next hour, he walked round the house gulping frantically, and with his eyes wide and bulging...
But that wasn't the "good bit", oh no. It took him four visits and 48 hours to use the litter tray. Each time he would enter, assume the position, and begin. Only for his legs to start shaking, a "mweeeeeep!" noise to be emitted from the front end and an immediate cessation of efforts...
The weird thing was he got a taste for them, and a year later he would steal them happily, and even eat the Scotch Bonnets directly off the bush...
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That sounds like a cat that would end up as an excellent spaghetti sauce.
Windows 8 is the resurrected version of Microsoft Bob. The only thing missing is the Fisher-Price logo.
- Harvey
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Not if you had seen what else the monster would eat - including his own cat litter from time to time. 
The really nasty habit was his love of hot chocolate drinks - and we went through a patch of taking a cup each to bed with us in winter. Then fought the cat for the right to drink it...one night he stuffed his paw in my mouth to steal it! Lovely animal...
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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My mum used to make excellent breaded pork. chopped up to the size of nuggets and then fried in a pan.
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It seems the Khatshit has gone.
Just looked through his few posts and most don't seem to have added much (but then that is nothing out of the ordinary), today's effort was an interesting enough link worthy of the lounge followed up by a crap joke someone upvoted - standard lounge fare again.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: followed up by a crap joke
It wasn't crap; it was a subconscious re-rendition of a joke by The Two Ronnies!
(They were only crap sometimes.)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was talking about his crap joke, not yours.
Crapness is in the eye of the bee holder.
Or something.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: I was talking about his crap joke, not yours.
He did a joke?
And, having remembered where "my" joke obviously came from, I can now disavow myself of any crappiness associated with it.
(This is cool; I can't lose, here!)
I only noticed two postings from the guy -- both about toilets, neither particularly offensive -- so I must have skimmed past the ones that people are complaining about.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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ChrisElston wrote: followed up by a crap joke
Technically, it was a pee joke. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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SoMad wrote: Technically, it was a pee joke.
"Pee defecate" is the process by which PDF files are created.
How would you categorise that one?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I don't know, but if you google it, you will probably find there are a number of sites dedicated to exactly that. Me? I'm not going near Google with that search string!
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Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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Even the thought of googling for that counts! 
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A quarter of men in Asia-Pacific admit rape 
[add to that those who did, but didn't admit...]
A UN survey of 10,000 men in Asia-Pacific reveals high levels of ...[^]
Survey: In Bougainville in Papua New Guinea, ... , and 62 per cent said they had raped a woman or girl in their lifetime.
WTE?
--
If money is your hope for independence, you cannot reach it.
Being loved gives you strength,
while loving gives you courage.
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