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You will soon be appearing at the London Palladium!
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Dalek Dave wrote: You will soon be appearing at the London Palladium!
... Plummeting in from a great height, with a lead balloon like that.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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well, we could fill it with the most common element in the universe and make them go bang  .
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Helium is a by product of a Fusion Reaction so once we crack that it shouldn't be a problem.
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Second most common in the universe, but not on a small rocky planet like ours: with a molecular mass of 4 it escapes from the atmosphere, and being a noble gas it doesn't form minable compounds.
I thought we were only running out of helium-3, though?
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We've had cats a long time - since I was a child, pretty much.
And over the years we have had predators and slightly-less-predators felines.
Over the years they have brought home (alive and / or dead):
Mice.
Voles.
Moles.
Rats.
Birds, from teeny weeny Tits to Crows and Ravens.
Goldfish.
Koi.
Leaves (But in her defense, they were extremely viscous leaves, that could kill a cat with one bite. Honest.)
Squirrels.
Frogs.
Half a Goose.
Frozen Chicken portions (Don't ask)
Kittens.
One small dog (and it wasn't very happy)
But this is a first: one small Pipistrelle bat, slightly deceased. 
I do hope this isn't going to be a habit...I like bats.
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I would suggest that the bat would have been near death or injured before the cat got it.
As an insectivorous bat it uses echolocation and would have detected the threat of the cat.
(They are a very timid creature and would avoid threats at all costs).
If it is a common pipistrelle then do not worry too much, for they are very common.
However, your cat has broken the law and needs to be punished.
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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OriginalGriff wrote: Half a Goose.
Frozen Chicken portions (Don't ask)
You want to work with him on those skills.
Lesson 1: Identifying the neighbour's kitchen.
Lesson 2: Opening the fridge.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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No chance!
We had a cat (he died about 3 years ago) who could open the fridge at will. You'd be sitting there watching telly, and the cat would come through with a pack of bacon in his mouth...I wouldn't have minded quite so much if he'd learned to shut the fridge afterwards.
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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OriginalGriff wrote: the cat would come through with a pack of bacon in his mouth
Man, that cat had taste!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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OriginalGriff wrote: they were extremely viscous leaves
Would they be measured in Pascal Seconds, Stokes, or Reyn? Dynamic or kinematic? 
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Sort of a Bat Into Hell
speramus in juniperus
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A friend of mine was once the slave of a twelwe kg heavy male neutered cat.
He was neutered when he was a grownup so he didn't get fat, just big. And he didn't change behaviour just because he didn't have any balls so all owner of female cats in the radius of two miles were happy to not have any offspring.
One evening when I was visiting we heard a long and nasty cat fight and fifteen minutes after the fight ended this quite beaten up cat pulled a pretty large but very dead fox through the cat flap. 
Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
Abraham Lincoln
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I am well and truly trumped!  
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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Sounds like an urban legend to me?!?! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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Wow, that's a first for me. Never started any legends of any kind before.
Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
Abraham Lincoln
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I dunno, I had a Jack Russell who said hello so well to a Lady German Shepherd that the owners were very upset by the Jack Shepherd puppies that resulted. He once took on a bull and was disappointed at being pulled out before he could do any damage; Ginger not the bull. He was the only dog I've heard of with a criminal record for organised crime.
I'm proud of Ginger; better known as "Geroffyabastard"
speramus in juniperus
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My dog was assaulted by a paedophile dog earlier in the year.
Taking him for a walk and this dog pounced on his back and started going for it.
The woman with the other dog pulled him off tugged him off removed him, but he kept going back for more. She eventually had to pick him up and hold him as we made our escape.
She said "I'm ever so sorry, we've had him done, he just really likes puppies".
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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That sounds like old Ginger. Though to be fair he went for anything remotely dog shaped that wasn't a cat. Actually, I think he may have tried the lurve moves on a few cats as well.
When we went on holiday he would go into kennels, the only problem was he was never allowed back. I think it got to the point were Dad has to prepay for the damages they knew he was going to cause.
speramus in juniperus
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If i was you i would expect for a dead batman infront of my porch.
Why don't you learn him/her to bring you alive sheeps ?
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Hard truth time: you live with a serial killer.
I know you love this killer but you need to turn 'em in to the authorities.
It really is for the best.
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He is not! He has never touched a cornflake!
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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OriginalGriff wrote: I like bats
Well that explains the ones you've been keeping in your belfry.
Were the kittens dead too? When we had cats, we were constantly plagued by strays who got in and ate the kittens.
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