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My current agony - pardon the pun - is to report the system losses in our electrical distribution and transmission networks. Transmission energy delivered to the boundary of our network is reported hourly, but each metering point is reported with a different precision - 1MWH, 100 kWH, kWH - unless I want to wait until the middle of the following month, when the data is renormalized to a consistent precision. At the point of distribution, the meters are read once a month, but not on the same day of the month, nor any particular hour of the day. Retail sales at the distribution level are reported by automated meters, but the meters do not all report on the same day, but are instead spread over up to three days because of the AMR communications limitations.
In an ideal world, I'd be able to poll all meters at more or less the same time, then do a straightforward calculation, but nooooooo.... I haven't access to the meters at all, but must rely on others to read them for me. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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Tim Carmichael wrote: determine distance in mil
I had to do that with taxis and locations -- both recti-linear and as-the-crow-flies, for different purposes.
For the distances that are involved with taxis, I decided that the surface (in Phoenix) is flat enough to forego great-circle and simply use a rectangle.
Then report either the length of the diagonal or half the perimeter, as appropriate.
That was nearly ten years ago now. The hardest part was parsing the GPS values from the taxis.
My recent (last week) challenge involved downloading text files from an intranet site, splitting them into entries, and parsing the entries.
The files are from Unix systems, so there are no (or few) carriage returns (which is fine). Entries can span several lines, so there are several rules to follow. Of course, I had to determine the rules by trial-and-liquor.
We could compare notes. 
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Evolution[^]
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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just two steps to go then Dave
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Yippee!
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Ah, so DD's one of these[^] overweight Fisher-Price ones!
That explains a lot.
(e.g. why he's happy with the Windows 'ate baby-blocks interface.)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Where is the outline of the Tardis incarnation as Police Box ?
Google CEO, Erich Schmidt: "I keep asking for a product called Serendipity. This product would have access to everything ever written or recorded, know everything the user ever worked on and saved to his or her personal hard drive, and know a whole lot about the user's tastes, friends and predilections." 2004, USA Today interview
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...but it aint.
"Failed to retrieve directory listing"
I have tried switching from passive to active and clicked on 'Ask your operating system for the external IP Address'
Still no joy.
It is getting late on a Friday.
I refuse to be drawn into a long and complicated problem late on a Friday.
It will eat into my Gin Time.
But it is a bugger and I can see what my weekend is going to be spent doing!
THIS IS WHY[^]
"Of the 21 pages we tested on the site over the past 90 days, 0 page(s) resulted in malicious software being downloaded and installed without user consent. The last time Google visited this site was on 2013-09-17, and suspicious content was never found on this site within the past 90 days."
and
"Over the past 90 days, www.bellcross.co.uk did not appear to function as an intermediary for the infection of any sites."
It is such a churlish embuggerment.
It is on the same network that caused THIS[^]
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
modified 27-Sep-13 10:21am.
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Gin O'clock, hows the Paint Bucket thing going?
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Very well, had £12,000 turn over in less than 6 months.
Slowly growing the customer base and expanding the range.
Hard work though, but as a hobby it is very satisfying.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Dalek Dave wrote: and suspicious content was never found on this site within the past 90 days.
Someone should shoot that wordsmith.
"Never" implies that there haven't been any problems since it's inception; adding a time-frame means promotes that word "never" to a lie.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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It also has evil implication written all over it - a bit like "I never beat my wife on Thursdays" is exactly true but does not lead to the also true "I never beat my wife" but instead manages to imply that beatings occurred on other days - even without a shred of evidence.
I hate the kind of headlines that say things like "Doctor Who refuses to deny that he has been working with the Daleks towards destruction of the Earth." and then the smaller print says, "When The Doctor was contacted via email by this publication he failed to answer."
Guilty By Accusation (GBA) seems to be the way politics and law are doing in the press these days.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Beh.
You're only pissed off because of reports that your site downloads malicious red paint that infects buckets.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I've been working on converting a Brazilian crowdfunding site (Catarse, which you may have heard me talk about and which y'all make jokes about) for a non-profit out in Denver for local neighborhood project funding (when it goes live next Friday I'll post the link, don't blame me for the layout, I only do what I'm told) - anyways, the folks are reviewing things (last minute, of course) and came up with this "bug":
please edit the layout of the user bio / skills page to have more white space and look more pretty.
Marc
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Marc Clifton wrote: (when it goes live next Friday I'll post the link,
Yeah right I'm not going to click on a link that takes me to www.catarse.com.
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PB 369,783 wrote: Yeah right I'm not going to click on a link that takes me to www.catarse.com.
The Brazilian site is actually http://www.catarse.me/[^], and the Denver site will of course have a different URL. 
Marc
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Marc Clifton wrote: the Denver site will of course have a different URL
CatArse.Den?
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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Wonderful 
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Marc Clifton wrote: the Denver site will of course have a different URL.
catass.com?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Marc Clifton wrote: the Denver site will of course have a different URL
If it's a charity site will it be www.WhoGivesaCatsArse.com?
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Marc Clifton wrote: please edit the layout of the user bio / skills page to have more white space and look more pretty.
Many years ago the team here worked on a new system, it was meeting a massive need in the business, it was technically brilliant, it was to revolutionise many, many things.
They gave a demo of it to senior management, excited for the reception it was to receive.
The only comment they got back.
"It's too blue".
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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I once got a comment from management "Make those greenish buttons more grey; in fact cut out the green altogether and just have them grey... you can leave the red buttons alone I suppose". Yes, you guessed it! Green buttons for "Go ahead and do it" and red buttons for "Stop! Don't do it.".
Then we had grey for yes and red for no, (and grey for non-available options as well - really clear).
At the next review they decided to change the red to grey as well since it was the only coloured button.
And then at the next review they complained that there wasn't enough distinction amongst the button with just the text and we should put some colour in there....GAAAAAAH!
Boy, am I glad I don't work there anymore.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Worked at a place that would use three people to take data manually. I created a computer program to use one person, so they said I was not needed.
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Marc Clifton wrote: please edit the layout of the user bio / skills page to have more white space and look more pretty.
I'm sure that was in the spec somewhere? 
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You can't argue with "more pretty."
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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