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I would like to raise you Rubber[^] the telepathic tire
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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They are known as B-movies, and they are financed by the apiary industries world-wide who wish to distract people from knowing about the plague of killer-bees which could drive the price of honey sideways.
The piscene, arachnid, and ophidian races are typical targets for their campaigns of disinformation sugared with titillating scenes of youthful rambunctiousness en déshabillé punctuated by death-by-chainsaws known to hold great fascination for people with susceptible minds.
“The best hope is that one of these days the Ground will get disgusted enough just to walk away ~ leaving people with nothing more to stand ON than what they have so bloody well stood FOR up to now.” Kenneth Patchen, Poet
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Ah! These would be the same MI5 trained Killer Bees that Prince Phillip got from Mossad and used to assassinate Diana in the Paris tunnel?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Shh! The Express will pick up on it in no time of you keep shouting about it!
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Hey, when they make a movie with laser sharks in it I might actually watch it.
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Hah! with the recent discovery of a fossil of a member of the T-Rex family in Alaska I doubt it would be laser sharks they use next:
One of these beasties is found intact and frozen by a team of "scientists" (who oddly enough are made up of a nerdy yet comical genius, a power mad sociopath, a young blond well-endowed female scientist (played by an actress who possibly used to be in the cast of Baywatch/adult movies/pre-teen or teen soap a la Dawson’s Creek), and finally a Troy McClure type who doesn’t necessarily have to be a scientist, but could perform some sort of support role and could also possibly have some sort of shady special forces past (who with said female will save the day))
Power mad sociopath thaws out said beastie ignoring the female leads warning (that due to her proximity to the heaters thawing out the creature has to wear a bikini even though she is in the Arctic Circle!!) Driven by his lust for fame/power/money or a misguided attempt to gain all three in order to get said female lead. The beast thaws out quicker than expected eating comical nerdy type who was inexplicably checking whatever piece of technical sounding nonsense they can use for him being on his own in a lab at four a.m. (AKA surfing porn sites,) and promptly escapes heading southward where it encounters a group of bikini clad college girls skinny dipping in the local lake/ river/ open air Hot tub and promptly eats them. (There may also be an episode involving a father and son camping trip where only the child survives depending on budget)
Cue appearance of local Sheriff who ignores Troy McClure and female scientist and instead believes power mad sociopaths feeble excuse about bear attacks.
Power mad will attempt to catch / track the beast with help of large shady biotech organisation and will die horribly, the sheriff will be mauled yet somehow survive and Troy McClure will defeat the beast (although somehow will rip open his shirt and gain a slight flesh wound to prove he is suitably alpha male,) using a chainsaw/ flares and petrol/ welding equipment?/ dynamite (which is found in a remote cabin or abandoned mine,) and a plan devised by female scientist to lure the creature to its death with some newly discovered theory about the creatures behaviour in comparison to modern predators proving she is a real scientist.
Hmmm... Looking at this, my talents as a script writer are clearly being overlooked, I’m going to quit my job and go to Hollywood to follow my dreams! 
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*sigh* It's been done. Don't quit your day job.
Snark off, have you seen Valley of the Gwangi? I think it does star Doug Troy McClure.
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Okay, I'll buy into 'snow sharks' swimming through the HEAVILY compacted snow like standard issue [non laser fitted] sharks swim through the sea.
I'll even accept, for the sake of scientific debate, that the bikini clad girls in the hot tub are an integral part of the plot.
What I don't get is how said shark gets into the hot tub to eat aforementioned girls without anyone noticing?
I am not willing to watch the entire film to find out.
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Or (possibly more relevant) how they get out again... 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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When sharks swim through snow, they displace snow in accordance to their body volume. Now, since sharks will be swimming upwards, snow has to move downwards to fill the hole. Hence, the hot tub which is assumed to be on snow (now come on, if you believed all that crap believe this one too), becomes a part of shark snow motion system and moves downward to fill the hole. However, along the way the find shark who eats the girls.
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: What I don't get is how said shark gets into the hot tub to eat aforementioned girls without anyone noticing?
Because everybody is too busy looking at the bikini-clad girl?
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If this was the eighties, we'd get Bikini-clad girls - with leg warmers - chasing down and eating the sharks.
On a mountain.
To the track "I Eat Cannibals".
The eighties. When people still tried.
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And if it had been the Nineties, it would have been the Spic Girls1 chasing the sharks while screaming "Girl Power".
I wouldn't have watched that movie, either!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?
Alas, proof! Someone out there has developed the infinite improbability drive. 
We can program with only 1's, but if all you've got are zeros, you've got nothing.
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WTFH?  Fortunately such movies never get released widely...
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Awesome!...can't wait!...loved Sharknado
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Maaaan! That musta been some gooooood sh!t you were smoking!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Sharktopus is still my favourite so far
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Yeah - but that's a documentary of sea life around Japan! 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Yeah, that's for sure...all the new and interesting forms of life that are emerging since Fukushima! 
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"Where you will find Ashes cricketers playing fast, but run out they will not.(9)
I like this, should get the brains humming.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Increases
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Very good, but not the right answer.
Sorry.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Dalek Dave wrote: Sorry.
Why should you be sorry if he gave you the wrong answer 
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A particular British Idiom.
It really means "I have a complete lack of interest whether this affects you or not"
Example:
"May I have a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich"
"Sorry, we are all out of cheese"
Now they are not sorry at all, but they can hardly say "Tough Sh*t, no cheese".
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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