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OWNED! Well done indeed! Lets see if the other (judges) agrees 
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We should mix the jokes, to add some punchlinecaching.com effect.
Example : change the below punch line from "What did the chicken" to "Where is the boat ?"
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Mickael Martin received a parrot for his birthday, as this was a free gift for buying 500L of beer at once. The parrot was fully grown, with a very british attitude and the best vocabulary ever. Every sentence he spoke was almost poetry.
Martin tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly swearing, playing metal, showing Aussie TV shows...anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, and the bird got even nicer with him, thinking Martin needed help. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Martin put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird mildly protesting, then getting louder, and then, suddenly, he started swearing like a professional Detroit drug dealer who stepped bare foot on a lego brick.
Martin was delighted, and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot almost tried to kill him, and said: "[Censored] Do not [Censored] do that again, you [Censored][Censored] of [Censored], [Censored]"
Martin was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "What the [Censored] did the [Censored] chicken do ?"
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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And so it starts
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You could improve the flow of this prose by leaving in all the sunshines and elephants.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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Damn right ! I am so not used to swearing that I did not think about it...
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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I noticed that actually being funny was not a part of your requirements. That is good, I am sure that many programmers here can write an algorithm to determine that their joke differs from others by >= 66% in wording. But, I doubt many can write an algorithm to determine how funny a joke is.  
Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.
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prove it 
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What I said was original, but not really funny.
Being original and funny is hard.
Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.
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I'd enter your competition, but I need to nip down to the paper shop.
It's a bit windy, so I need to put a brick on it.
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Scissors.
Scissors cuts paper... I win 
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Bob received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
Bob tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music...anything he could think of.
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse.
He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Bob put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Bob was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Bob's extended arm and said,
"I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".
Bob was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him,
when the parrot continued,
"May I ask what the Chicken did?"
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Ironic, when you consider a Parrot's reputation for repetition.
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Don't get me started, I'd have to cut you in slices to keep you in the freezer.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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You also need a bigger freezer.
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I can roll the slices.
Mmmmhh, burrito !
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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This is a little known fact, but I believe I popularized the JOTD acronym on CP (many years ago). I may not have been the first to use it, but I institutionalized it into the Lounge culture. Sadly no one else has credited me so far - bastards!
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I thought it's Johnny.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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What's really scary is how much time we spend noting that it's a repost... did you have this saved?
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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No, but search works a lot better now and can actually get the old posts!
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I've just received my 4th or 5th Windows Phone. I do like them.
Except for the Date and Time -> Set Automatically, which it does but never to the correct time, usually 2-3 mins out. So as per usual I've had to turn this off and set it manually every couple of weeks.
Has anyone else had this problem?
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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