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We certainly do. Some people seem to think it's okay to be rude.
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And an even greater number (I suspect) aren't terribly adept at realizing that they're acting in a manner considered rude in any given social setting.
I can honestly (and without a microgram of pride, yet kilograms of regret) say that I've been rude on purpose here at CP likely under 5 times. Two that come to mind immediately, there must be others.
I'd be dumbfounded if I'd not been deemed rude by others for comments a far greater number of times than I'd thought my behaviour anything other than fine.
As for the OP in this case - I told him that comments he left from time to time made me think of the word megalomaniac. ( [^]) Far from trying to be rude, it was my intention to be as direct as I perceived he to be. We're not what I'd call buddies, but I find the bashing of SAK by many quite amusing. Some are more articulate than most in their criticism, but generally I find myself thinking "toughen-up princess!"
Lots of people happy to bitch about him 'behind his back' as it were, in the lounge, but very few are prepared to tell him how they think it is. At least I know that between QA, the lounge and Code Horrors I'm guaranteed to get a stress-relieving laugh. 
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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I've given up telling him how rude he's been. It's like water off a ducks back to him and nothing I say has had any moderating effect.
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Fair enough.
I think the 'water off a duck's back' quip is an important part of the equation. Some cultures tend to foster sycophancy, while others seem to encourage true independence and belief in oneself. In my experience, these two particular environments seem to produce individuals that often don't play nicely together.
When talking of immutable facts like the result of 2+2 or the number of countries on a continent, it's relatively easy to correct misconceptions. However, when talking of social situations, almost the entirety of what we know and how we behave is subject to opinion. Sure, group consensus is something we tend to respond to - but it only works when we're of the same opinion as the group or want something that it offers. Changing the opinion of someone that thinks that we are incorrect doesn't really happen. The fact that we're telling them that they're wrong and not them telling us, can even be interpreted as ourselves being the ruder of the two parties.
I dont offer an answer, opinion, or a defence or attack directed at anyone - merely a few random musings that I've had over the years.
Though, all that said - the original post in this thread did bring a smile to my face. Almost as much so as many of the follow-up comments.
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I think there is such a thing as not seeing the apparent difference between criticism (even sarcastic) and offending a person, using plainly bad words addressed to a personality, not a particular idea, view or a work.
This is like bombing in reply to a diplomatic note. How a person supporting the party who is bombing look?
—SASergey A Kryukov
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Nicely put SA. You're touching on just the issue that actually makes the attacks on your character amusing to me. Not that I think character attacks are in and of themselves funny, quite the contrary, in fact. I laugh with you, not at you..
The issue I have is the way that generally people criticize you in a manner that just seems plain offensive, rude and attacks the person (you) rather than the behaviour that others have an issue with. This is invariably echoed by other members, in a situation somewhat like college kids grouping together to attack a single individual. Generally, they will be at least one Ad Hominem attack in such a session.
This only serves to tell me more about the understanding that I and others have of ourselves and different personality types and cultures. In practise, it just gives me names to add to my list of people I wouldn't help if I were able. Refusing to work with people whom we dislike is often not a luxury afforded at work. In my spare time however, what I say goes,and I say those that support sending a bomb after an unwelcome diplomatic note aren't getting a thing from me.. (Oh, and to answer your question - they look like the other end of the pipe connected to my mouth)
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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enhzflep wrote: This only serves to tell me more about the understanding that I and others have of ourselves and different personality types and cultures
And thus we find beauty on the interwebs.
This is, by far, the most important thing for me when loitering online: to learn about others, to realise not everyone things as I do, to understand we come to places along different roads.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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 Yup, same for me too.
It's the contents of the comments in some sites I frequent that are far more interesting to me than the articles/videos which they accompany.
Physics World - I hardly bother with the comments, the articles are the meat. Loved this one this week: http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/2014/sep/23/nuclear-spins-control-electrical-currents[^] (OLEDs, memory chips and MRIs - all in a single device)
l******k - The opposite is generally true. The confrontingly candid nature of the replies and the ability to see who votes every comment up or down make for a really interesting study into human nature - both of others and of myself. Not sure if the NSFW and kid-sister rules apply here, so I wont identify the site or any contents. They're both easy to find anyway.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Ha-ha! As to the lexical side of the problem: years ago, we had a joke:
A book like "Mastering Microsoft Windows" was publishes with the classifier "Rated NC-17" (or "18+"). The question was: why?
The annotation reads: "Strong language".
—SASergey A Kryukov
modified 28-Sep-14 20:41pm.
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That's just too funny. Thanks for the giggle.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Sergey A Kryukov
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Good point, Chris.
I think you might be interested to read my parallel post below, entitled "Some big differences".
Especially in item #2 in the list, where I emphasize some formal approach (to obscene words).
Doesn't that make sense?
—SASergey A Kryukov
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I don't want to be got wrong. I'm not the person who tends to "play offended card" (see also the "And finally… paragraph"). I am standing for the principles.
I think that particular saying, views and works can in fact be attacked. In the field of science, this is even the part of culture, and a part of general freedom of speech. But I would add to your points:
- Those "plain offensive, rude" attacks almost never contain any criticism at all. Have you noticed that? They just make no subject for discussion, except this forum. Likewise, criticism almost never uses bad words or personal characteristics, but can contain real sarcasm. It's like two different words meeting on the same page.
By the way: I read about a very similar notion from psychology: schizoid communication. - As to the cultures, in most cultures, there is strong isolation between rudeness and obscene language. That means, one can be very nice and use obscene language, and one can be very rude using plain language.
Interestingly, in my native country the obscene language is criminalized and can be a subject of a felony. Yet, obscene language is very popular, and lately (unfortunately) became popular in public speech. One would question: how would it possibly work? Simply: no one will practically touch the offender for that foul language, until this person actually also offends someone. And then, this offended person can exercise her/his right to sue the offender, which can be just the political, financial or a kind of public-relation gain act.
It could be nasty, could be fair or not, but can't you see it makes some practical sense: one single bad word may make you an outlaw. Either use foul language and be careful (which I would not recommend and would not like to see, ever, but this is about the formality), or stay away from certain words. Isn't that kind of fair?
And finally, I wonder how many people noticed that I readily responded to criticism (not matter how much sarcastic), said "thank you very much" and tried to improve myself, or stood for my point with arguments. Criticism, not offense. And I wonder how many people noticed many cases when I kept helping a person who just offended me if ones keep asking question (even in cases I reported wrong behavior, and not expecting apologies). To me, those are just different things. Everyone can see the facts except those who are blind.
(Above, the word "blind" is the sarcastic expression, referring such a rude document as the Bible, not attacking any particular person or a group; this is yet another exercise in distinguishing the rudeness. )
Overall, despite of a lot of unpleasant content, I think this is a very interesting discussion of a very interesting topic. I am grateful to everyone who responded, no matter in what way.
—SASergey A Kryukov
modified 26-Sep-14 15:20pm.
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Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: I'm not the person who tends to "play offended card"
Agreed. You'd be the last person I though of when considering that behaviour.
Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: Those "plain offensive, rude" attacks almost never contain any criticism at all. Have you noticed that?
I have actually, yes. That's one of the reasons I find some discussions amusing and a reason to add persons to my do-not-help list. A criticism without addressable concerns isn't a criticism at all imho - it's merely an attack.
Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: Likewise, criticism almost never uses bad words or personal characteristics, but can contain real sarcasm.
Bingo! It's precisely the absence of these things that makes some criticism respectful and rewarding (even if uncomfortable) to receive.
Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: schizoid communication
Wow! There was an interesting couple of hours spent after I looked-up this phrase. Particularly the fact that some people will categorize this behaviour(schizoid) as someone holding back or remaining purposefully distant, while from the other side of the topic - these very same people could be said to be over-extending themselves. Yet another example why it's vitally important to take so many things into consideration when we try to uncover the intended meaning of any discussion. Much like the use of language - the use of a 'bad' word can be perfectly fine and 'polite', yet use of 'polite' language can at times be entirely unacceptable and can betray horrible ideas, thoughts and opinions. Understanding where someone is coming from is vital!
Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: And finally, I wonder how many people noticed that I readily responded to criticism (not matter how much sarcastic), said "thank you very much" and tried to improve myself, or stood for my point with arguments. Criticism, not offense.
No real way to tell, I guess. But I know I certainly have. There are things you and I have disagreed about, yet it's never felt like a waste of time or energy to present arguments which support one view or another - such discussions are invariably a rich source of knowledge and alternate viewpoints.
Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: Overall, despite of a lot of unpleasant content, I think this is a very interesting discussion of a very interesting topic. I am grateful to everyone who responded, no matter in what way.
I think you just 'won the internet' for today with that! Bravo Sir, bravo.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Pete, may I ask you straight: do you think there is any legitimate reason to tell a person "shut up" or "you are a dick" (sorry, probably it's my first time I even use such word)? Do you feel like encouraging saying such words, ever, by whatever reason? I think not. You, too, could quote some words if you make some statements.
Thank you.
—SASergey A Kryukov
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For what it's worth, my own opinion is that no Code Project Member should have to put up with verbal abuse under any circumstances.
Perhaps the "Soap Box" here has a different ethos ("fight club" ?); I wouldn't know, because I never go there.
I have a strong conviction (and sentiment) that newcomers to CodeProject should be made "welcome," should be given, initially, the "benefit of the doubt," and responded to helpfully, and patiently; guided, if necessary or indicated, to understanding how the different forums work, and what is appropriate behavior.
That does not mean I am advocating tolerating homework-shirkers, dazed lost-sheep asking where their home pasture went, last-minute-exam-panic nonsense-questioners, and those whose attitude is "gimme codez," etc.
To the extent we, all, can recognize the humanity behind the "screen name," be aware of cultural differences in discourse (especially for those who are not native English speakers), and avoid inferring character from behavior on-line and personally reacting as if others are making ad hominem arguments, or attacks ... well, what more can we do ?
It never was, or will be, "perfect," but it is very, very good ... here on CodeProject
cheers, Bill
« I had therefore to remove knowledge, in order to make room for belief » Immanuel Kant
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Great points.
—SASergey A Kryukov
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Again the same author. This[^] is mainly taken from
https://savanne.be/articles/concurrency-in-erlang-scala/
While other sources have been acknowledged, the 'main' one haven't.
NOTE! Please be careful. Remember to make your own conclusions based on the links I've included and correct me if you see that these are false alarms!
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52 Articles?  Lets have deep dive into the ocean......
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly"- SoMad
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No, we have zero tolerance for plagiarism. The trick is spotting it. When spotted and confirmed it must be removed.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Thank you, Chris.
Indeed, spotting it is the trick. But I am talking about the case where I think I certainly spotted (and I spotted it just occasionally); please see a link to my earlier post, above. So, I didn't quite understand: do you think my report of that massive plagiarism cannot be confirmed; or perhaps this is just a matter of time?
Thank you.
—SASergey A Kryukov
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Sergey Alexandrovich Kryukov wrote: do you think my report of that massive plagiarism cannot be confirmed; or perhaps this is just a matter of time
Just a matter of time.
In fact: his time is up.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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