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In The Netherlands we had the joke that KLM (Royal Dutch Airlines, translates as Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij) flew away 
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Sander Rossel wrote: we had the joke
It was laid to rest over 10 years ago.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Am I that old already...? 
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Sander Rossel wrote: (Royal Dutch Airlines, translates as Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij)
... Except that none of those words is "Nederlandse".
Programming languages are so much easier to work with.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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All the English folk here didn't know that...
Now you've gone and ruined it 
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I'd better not point out that the "Lucht" in "Luchtvaart" means air (as in the gas), and that the "v" is pronounced like an "f", then.
I suppose that if a propulsion system works...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You?
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the Psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the Proctologist.
They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
The doctors changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.
This was also not acceptable, so they changed the sign to read:
Catatonics and High Colonics..
Again.... no go....
Next they tried: Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives..
Thumbs down again.
Then came, Minds and Behinds...
Still not good....
Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes....
unacceptable again....
So they tried: Nuts and Butts -
no way....
Freaks and Cheeks -
still no good
Loons and Moons -
forget it
Almost at their wit's end, the Docs finally came up with....
Dr. Smith & Dr. Jones
Specializing in Odds and Ends....
Everybody loved it....
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Up voted as I have not heard it before.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Somebody needs to Photoshop that onto a real clinic sign.
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I've long wanted to open an auto parts store next door to a music shop, just so I could put up a sign that reads, "Wright's Organs and Body Parts."
Will Rogers never met me.
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Received a call last night from a manager who was having problems with a vendor system. She wanted to know if we ran nightly backups because she was interested in testing a couple of things in the next morning. The theory was that once the testing was completed I could revert the database and they'd be all set.
I assured her it would be no problem.
Out of the 20 databases that backed up last night guess which backup failed?
D'OH
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Ask her why she worked on the "Backup" version instead of the "Live", then blame her for the "Live" now being corrupted as well.
Then restore the previous days version and get her to fix the updates.
Do I have to think of everything?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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If I were rich I'd hire a Brit as a consultant for my day to day life.
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After the May 7th election, DD could well be available!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Didn't we decide not to count people from Luton as British?
If not, we should have.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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From the MSN News article on that guy rescued after being at sea for 66 days:
"I waved my hands real slowly, and that's the signal 'I'm in distress help me,'" he told WAVY.
Really. The TV station that interviewed him has the call sign WAVY????
Marc
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Maybe that's because back in the analog days, it might've been the best way to describe the picture they were broadcasting...?
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Regular readers may recall a recent post of mine entitled
"I quit!"
Well, after much deliberation (MUCH deliberation) a great deal of stress, some negotiation and copious quantities of booze - I've changed my mind!
So I am remaining at my current employer - as Software Development Manager (my previous job title was "developer").
My job is now to stop our software being sh*t! improve our processes and procedures and ensure the production of quality, tested software.
Wish me luck!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Good Luck!
Have you got Management Support?
(Or have you got the promise of management support provided you don't change anything?)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Thanks!
I have support from the top. Whether I have support from the middle remains to be seen.
it is commonly acknowledged that we must change something, as what we have produced over the last three or four years performs poorly, is inconsistent, poorly tested. ill documented, and hard to maintain, and, frankly, works less well than the MS Access product it replaces!
It's time to restore some pride in our work
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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On the plus side suicide remains an option.
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Don't do that!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Maxxx wrote: Software Development Manager
So you quit.
Anyways, good luck. Be a good manager to your team.
Maxxx wrote: Wish me luck!
I wish you luck. 
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Thanks.
One think I will say for my previous management experience, and that is I ended up with extremely loyal teams - teams that would insist on staying late to finish things on time, for example.
It will be harder, as I am changing roles within an existing team (a team that pre-existed my starting), but I'm up for the challenge!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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