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I've just had the third call in two days from the "Computer's Servicing Centre at Windows Microsoft" [sic]. The nice young man called "James" said there's a problem with the computer I'm using RIGHT NOW and he MUST help me resolve it before I lose any valuable information...
I told him I'd only just started the PDP-11 up ten minutes ago, but he told me that the Windows Operating System had notified them about a problem...
Next I am informed that my Internet Connection is a problem, but I've used the same dial-up modem for 25 years without a problem, I even asked kindly if he thought that dialing it back from 2400 to 1200 would help...
He hung up on me. 
veni bibi saltavi
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No Microsoft support personnel knows about PDP-11 or dial-up modem, so it sound genuine to me... 
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Did you get his address? My Commodore PET is acting funny, and I think it might have been that Doom 4 game I torrented. Do you think he can help me?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Do you have the 4KB model or the 8KB model?
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: there's a problem with the computer I'm using RIGHT NOW and he MUST help me resolve it before I lose any valuable information
Such nice people! They really care their users.
Nagy Vilmos wrote: third call in two days
It would be fun to play along only if one already knows their intention. I wish they call me, I even have certain "Plan of Actions" ready when they do. 
I ain't got no signature.
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They'll have you run a program called regedit and navigate you to all the virus data; aka GUID's.
veni bibi saltavi
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Don't they usually start with eventvwr.exe, and tell you that every error message is a virus? 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Pirate Guy wrote: It would be fun to play along only if one already knows their intention. I wish they call me, I even have certain "Plan of Actions" ready when they do.
That's always been my intent, but the only time I actually got a call from one of them, the guy's accent was so thick I couldn't even get anything started. Disappointed.
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Advantages of living in a country where only a small minority of population barely speaks engRish: no international frauds. Simply because any callr would have the phone hung up in 3 seconds straight followed by a paranoid call to the Police 
Geek code v 3.12 {
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
}
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It is really unfair! All the fun for the english speakers...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Indeed i'd like such a call too, just to tell the guy on the phone some elephants for fun 
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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It's a very fine line, because if you take the piss too much they hang up.
veni bibi saltavi
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Sadly they don't string em selfs up?
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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I used to get one of these every 3-4 weeks. Just over 20 minutes is my record, the guy eventually realised I was taking the piss and swore at me then hung up. They have not called in some time now!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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| In one of my meaner moods (only happens Sun through Sat) I spoke to the caller thus:
You spend your days knowingly scamming people.
If you would die, the world would be a better place.
Please die . . . soon.
Then I quietly hung up.
Gave them a little something to think about between my call and the next (?)
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Must be a popular scam from the numbers of people complaining about them.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.1 new web site.
I know the voices in my head are not real but damn they come up with some good ideas!
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Google translate...
Out of curiosity I got the MQOTD sentence to translate it, and found that Google translate is sensitive to whitespace...
Try yourself...
1. Es ist unmöglich, unter diesen Umständen zu führen. Es ist aus.
2. Es ist unmöglich, unter diesen Umständen zu führen.Es ist aus.
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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The translation is wrong for both of these items so it really doesn't matter.
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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It is fun!
I played around with different sentences to get most amusing results...
Google translate not only can not translate, but has a real problem with punctuation (period at least)...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Might have something to do with the comma after "unmöglich". If you remove that one that translation improves a bit.
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Mans tale of the good old days, perhaps? (7)
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Mans HIS
tale STORY of the good old days, perhaps?
HISTORY
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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You were just trying to avoid doing it again tomorrow!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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