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"I will grind your bones into dust, feast on your intestines and wear your eyeballs as squishy ear rings."
That should cover it.
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote: "I will grind your bones into dust, feast on your intestines and wear your eyeballs as squishy ear rings."
LOL!! The Ogre-Response is a perfectly valid way to resolve these issues.
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forget what i said OP, this one should be used for the best effect 
#region(start signature)
Life's like a nose, you've got to get out of it whats in it!
#endregion
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update the hosts file on his computer to redirect Facebook to something work appropriate
Hogan
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Be nice. Say "That reminds me of a video I saw the other day, I'll send you the link" and then link him to this[^].
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The action is insane!
I moved to the 4:49:32s mark and.. wow! just Wow! I could have guessed it! 
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I guess it's a culture thing, but in the Netherlands we'd just tell him it's not that funny...
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It's terribly inappropriate to tell a person the truth and possibly <sniff> hurt their little feelings.
For the sake of peace, get some counseling before your terrible ideology of truth destroys the world.
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Please keep your honest opinion to yourself!
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Take two big prints of "Need to focus; request not to distract", and paste them at two prominent places.
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Avijnata wrote: paste them at two prominent places.
I suggest that one of those prominent places could be the distractor's own forehead. 
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Samira Radwan wrote: My question is how to apologize in a gentle way,
My question is "What are you apologizing for?"
You really don't have to be overly polite for trying to do what you're paid for so you can keep your job. If you really have a need to please this fellow - and you have breaks - tell him to remind you on break. At the very least, you'll probably be able to avoid seeing most of the stuff since he'll probably forget most of them.
I'd say complain about the time he spent finding this stuff, but both you and I are in the CP Lounge right about now and ought not throw stones.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Literally ROFL for around five minutes.
This should then freak him out enough to ensure that he never shows you something 'funny' again.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Bonus points for visibly soiling yourself.
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I hate to break it to you but you clearly have a bad case of SAP (Serious Appeasement Paralysis)! I recommend daily treatments of What Would Chuck Norris Do?[^]
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Let somebody else sort him out for you.
Recommend, every single time, that he should forward whatever he's showing you to everybody in the company, including the CEO. Preferably large video files, attached to email.
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Just say you're busy and have work to do. After a few times, he should get the message that you're not interested. Or, simply say "Just a second... let me finish what I'm doing first" then go back to what you were doing, when he asks again, say "still finishing..." and repeat. After a few times, if he's smart, he'll stop asking.
#SupportHeForShe If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
Only 2 things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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You have to teach him to associate his behaviour with negative feelings. Pretend to be innocent. He's sharing, so you're sharing -- right from the heart. Here are some ideas.
- "Hey man, wanna see my dead bird collection? I LOVE THEM." Then show him a picture of dead birds.
- "Wanna look at a website I made in college? I'm really proud of it." Then show him a Geocities page. "Do you like it?" Smile awkwardly. Make constant eye contact. Don't look away.
- "I wrote this joke myself. Do you think it will do well on reddit?" Show him the worst joke you can find.
You get the idea.
Thanks,
Sean Ewington
CodeProject
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Shut the f*** up. Can't you see I'm working.
Well maybe not shut up but tell him you are really not interested in that kind of thing.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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Next time he calls you, say "I'll come look, but if it's not funny I'm gonna punch you in the face. still want me to come look?"
if he says "yes" punch him in the face anyway.
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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I'm with POH, the grinding of bones should reduce the distraction re occurrence.
Seriously, YOU should not be apologising, just tell him you are not interested, don't have time or just to plain f*** off!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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I read this with interest since it can apply to a lot of annoying people that I have to deal with:
0: my IBIL (retired) who has called me 5 out of the last 6 days just to talk about his knee surgery among many other illnesses and pains...or else he is bragging about how smart he is.
1: my neighbor whom I try to avoid at all costs...why, well, he is also retired and loves to talk, mostly complaining about the other neighbors or how he's getting something over on somebody or some company.
2: my boss who calls me multiple times a day to ask the same old boring question...'what are you doing?'. I 'was' working, but now, since you called I have stopped being productive and simply looking to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
3: a friend who recently sent me a link (his idea) to a 'black market' music and movie sharing site. That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't checked it out yet. He sent 3 text messages and 2 emails asking if I had gone to the site. I politely replied back 'no but thanks' the first time, and have ignored the others. I'll check it out when I have nothing more important to do...Get it? I'm just not as enthusiastic about wasting hours of my time watching TV. There's too much coding to be done!
...or maybe I'm just anti-social!
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I was driving along, and the car started wobbling rapidly left to right. Slowed right down and crept home, had a look, and the top wish bone has detached itself from the hub upright. The nut just plain fell off. I noticed it knocking a bit recently but didn't get round to checking! 
Still, I found a spare one and put it back, but its very odd, its a self locking nut.
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