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Chris Maunder wrote: given the choice between living in cold, damp, dark, over-crowded England and warm, sunny Australia, who do you think got the better end of the deal?
Given the choice between British[^] and Australian[^] wildlife, I know which I'd choose! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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It seems you beat me to it... 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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I loved the fact that among all those poisonous animals there was a picture of ![Good Stuff | [The good stuff]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/vegemite.gif)
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Chris Maunder wrote: given the choice between living in cold, damp, dark, over-crowded England and warm, sunny Australia, who do you think got the better end of the deal?
I'll take the country with fewer deadly animals[^]. Thanks. 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Albert looked up and dived for cover, receiving only mild bruising because he had the foresight to curl into a ball.
After a while Death, his voice a little muffled, said: ALBERT, I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
Albert scrambled up and pulled at some of the huge volumes, finally dislodging enough of them to allow his master to clamber free.
HMM... Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. 'DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA', he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C, he added. OH. PART THREE, I SEE.
He glanced up at the listening shelves. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?
They waited.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT -
"No, wait, master. Here it comes."
Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air. Finally Death reached up and caught the single sheet of paper.
He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side.
"May I?" said Albert. Death handed him the paper.
"'Some of the sheep'" Albert read aloud.
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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At least the deadly animals in Aussie don't carry guns as a security blanket, not like some countries 
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Wait, what country has animals that carry around guns?! 
Really though, you're definitely right, but the people in Australia probably need to...
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Nah, even the sharks bugger-off if ya punch 'em hard enough.
In the same way that dogs can smell fear, the wildlife can smell tourists. They should consider handing em out at the airports though.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Chris Maunder wrote: especially the Queenslanders)
Ahem!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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_Maxxx_ wrote: Ahem!
You're a Pom. No matter howe long you live here. Your Boy on the other hand is lucky enough to be an Aussie, unfortunate enough to be a banana bender.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Your casual racism is most offensive.
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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_Maxxx_ wrote:
I'm sorry, I'm white, you're white, there can be no racism.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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What makes you think I'm white?
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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_Maxxx_ wrote: What makes you think I'm white?
Cause all your talking (OK, so I mean typing) sounds just like all those proper Pom types from all the 60's and 70's English TV shows that filled out televisions over her oin the 70's.
I'm specifically thinking Steptoe and Son.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I couldn't comment about what they speak over there, there were people from too many countries to be sure. About the rest -
see this reply[^]
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Come to America. We don't speak English here. We speak whatever you want to speak, write, read. It's all good.
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This sucks. 
From the few lines you have dropped here, either the test is very complicated, or you are a sissy when stressed out, because I do not see why you would fail. Let alone twice !
Are you going to try again ? Is that allowed ?
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Probably a combination of the two
I didn't actually fail, the requirement is around 90%. My score was a little lower. I'm not a native speaker either, they probably deduct points for the way I speak (there is an oral test too).
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Foster's is Australian for "beer". Done.
And change your name to Bruce.
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Nope.
Foster's is Australian for tastes like s... I'm sure (hope!) we export more of the stuff than gets drunk here.
We don't seem to really care much for lagers.
But I'll still pay your joke. Here, catch - 24 coming through!
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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enhzflep wrote: tastes like s...
Same here. Quality is inverse to advertising.
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Don't be bloody silly, that is the stuff we inflict on the rest of the world, don't drink the stuff domestically.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Nah mate, yoove got it all wrong. You keep failing coz your getting to much of it write.
Next time, go in drunk and not giving a flying-elephant. You'll come out with a perfectly respectable pass! Just like a résumé, you've gotta tailor the answers to the situation. The testers just know that something looks funny and ding ya for it. A case of wrong is right, or something along those lines.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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Funny that you mentioned it but I seriously considered doing this. The only thing stopping me is it's against regulations to be intoxicated during the exam (though they may not find out)
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Haha. That deserves an honorary citizenship. I'd have done so sooner, but have been busy being the best Aussie I can. Someone's gotta (try) to give MM a run for his money. 
Anyhoo, may I present you with your certificate: http://imgur.com/u4kyAVj[^]
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
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