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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: 2. Brains for the management
C'mon now, he asked for something reasonable!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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He also asked for one! So I added a second...Everyone have dreams that can't come true...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: 2. Brains for the management
But then they wouldn't be management... 
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And that would improve the place like nothing else...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I think I've got it pretty good... Laptop, car, study budget, phone, any study book I need for free, free coffee, tea, water, soda, juices, a pretty good €1 lunch on Wednesday and snacks on Friday (I usually don't join either lunch though, I prefer to bring my own lunch), free fruit, free snacks, two big-ass monitors (since today), five minute drive from home (we moved last week, it was a 15 minute drive) and a decent salary. I can work from home whenever I want, but I don't because I can get along with my coworkers pretty well.
So is there really NOTHING that could make it better?
Yeah, stop sending ALL mail to my entire team.
I get about 50 mails a day (on average) that I have nothing to do with, but that are directed to someone in my team 
I complained about it, but my team lead (very nice guy by the way) told me it was nice to get all those mails to keep up to date with other projects...
I already created a rule to move all those mails to another folder to keep my inbox clean, if 1/50 mails is directed at me there's a good change I'll miss it
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Money for nothing and chicks for free.
I see in other answers the downfall of the open space trend. I am glad my company was old fashioned when open spaces were considered 'cool'.
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CPallini wrote: downfall of the open space trend
My employer is still in the process of converting offices from tall cubes to short (and smaller) cubes. My building hasn't been converted yet, but probably within a few years.  I think they are actively trying to get more workers to work from home so they can then reduce square footage. I also think it was a "long term" decision that was made years ago, and now they don't want to change course regardless of any reviews of success or failure so far.
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: I think they are actively trying to get more workers to work from home
I wish we could, I'd save 110 km each day of commuting. Our open space is designed so that the overseer can watch each monitor at a moment's notice and any people enterning the office can see every monitor. Guess if they would be prone to let us work from where nobody can keep us under surveillance...
Extracts from the work regulations include: prohibition of talking from desk to desk, prohibition of getting up and walking to colleauges, prohibition of speaking to colleagues over the internal phone line. E-mails between coworkers are prohibited, for every communication should include the overseer. I think they missed the big writing "ARBEIT MACHT FREI"...
Luckily my boss doesn't give a flock about all of this but the other departments of the company are terrible.
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
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Quote: I think they are actively trying to get more workers to work from home
Like den2k88 that would be good news for me.
Quote: I also think it was a "long term" decision
I know, such long term decisions are really bad.
Quote: they don't want to change course regardless of any reviews of success or failure so far
And that's even worse, my sympathy.
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chriselst wrote: What would be the one, reasonable, change that could be made to your place of work to make it better?
Friday Beer !!! Reasonable ??? 
Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf *
Maths is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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Windows <-- as in holes in the wall... 
Our s/w group works in the center of a rather large building. We might as well BE the tornado shelter, but in the event of bad weather they make us move to a less secure hallway. Shoot, I'd settle for a large hi-def screen on the wall connected to an outside camera. Of course, I'd lose the air flow.
Sent from my home office with two windows (one open) and the golden retriever trying to commit suicide by snuggling up behind my office chair....
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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A development group run by developers. There should be no BAs, meetings should never have more than 4 people (three is better and two ideal), and forget Agile which might have worked if it had been done by the original rules.
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We should start seeing in a few weeks.
The HVAC system in this building was screwed up. Whenever there was a meeting in the conference room, it would cause the AC to come on in the working area--even if it was already 70F, the normal setting.
Because, you know, the comfort of the 10 or so people in that room is more important than the health of the workers.
Needless to say, that made winters particularly unpleasant.
I hear that some adjustments have been made so we don't need to wear coats at our desks. We'll see now that the weather is cooling.
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Here are the changes that I made:
1) I labeled the coffee maker with instructions on how to make the friggin coffee!
(It worked, consistent coffee, and the 2 of us who made it increased to most everyone!)
2) Dual Monitors (it was a while ago)
3) Moving 2 developers OUT of a shared office into their own "closet" offices.
4) A Herman Miller chair for my office (which I paid for myself)
5) Getting the phone system changed so programmers phones did not ring as a rollover!
And I would say the first one gave me more joy, every day I found a fresh pot of coffee
that someone else made!
Ah... Make the changes.
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In the late 1990's I was working for a software company who had the 41st floor of an office building as a huge open plan area (4 offices on one side for the four "partners" who owned the company.
In the open plan area was around 25 developers, all on high salaries.
In the reception foyer just by the lifts, sat the Receptionist, a New Zealand girl who aspired to be a professional Ballroom dancer.
A consultant advised them to change the phone system so that incoming calls would ring on every single desk in the office, not just the Receptionist desk.
All developers were instructed that no call should be allowed to wait more than three rings.
So, maybe every 5 minutes, all the phones would ring. Every developer in the company would stop what they were doing so they could count the rings.
This company featured in a business magazine of time in a story about "25 fastest growing companies".
The next year they folded spectacularly.
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Tools to retain good developers.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson
Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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I need a fridge... And a coffee maker.
I have my HDTV, Rocksmith, exercise equipment, computers, futon, etc.; but I'm still missing some essentials.
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As I am an independent, I have set up my place of work to suit me.
Many years ago I had to go up into the ceiling space of my house to replace the battery for the alarm system, and realized there was a huge unused attic space up there.
I got a builder to "convert" it into a 6 x 4 meter office, two large windows (plus stairs) for the equivalent of 6 weeks of my then rate.
It is very quiet - it sits on top of the previously laid ceiling insulation.
After the first flush of enthusiasm, other people in the house can't be bothered climbing the stairs unless they really need to. So I have very few interruptions.
I have a 2 meter desk on one side, and a 1.7 meter work-bench on the other. There is about 20 meters of shelving in the room.
When I was a wage slave I was always amused that large companies would pay in excess of $100,000 for 48 weeks of 40 hour weeks (1920 hours) of my time and then stick me in some kind of crazy open "bull-ring" to go do my work.
A nice environment for a frenzied forex trader, but NFG for a software developer.
Guaranteed 50% productivity decrease.
IMHO, a serious developer needs a large, quiet space to work in.
Yes, he must go and talk with other people - the rest of the team, users etc. But it is a good thing that to do so he must get up and move away from his work-place.
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chriselst wrote: reasonable, change that could be made to your place of work to make it better?
Offices.
Now if we remove "reasonable" then timely business requirements.
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Surrealist coding: /* No comment */
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Surrealist response: /* No comment */
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char *response = "\n\0 Comment" ;
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/* Slaps Griff with a large fish whilst dressed as a clown. */
Now that's surrealist cod-ing.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Je vois que vous avez joué poisson-spoony[^] avant.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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