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If you're Russian going to the bathroom, you probably have diarrhea.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Was gonna save that for the sequel... Number Two. 
Jeremy Falcon
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I'll let you know
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Its just Friday to get through and the weekend is here and if your in the UK its a 3 day weekend 
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Simon_Whale wrote: if you're in the UK it's a 3 day wet weekend
It always rains on bank holidays! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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The sun will come out tomorrow
So you got to hang on 'til tomorrow, come what may!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, on CP tomorrow
You're only a day away
Jeremy Falcon
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So what you're saying is that if you wait long enough you'll always get all the sunshines you could ever want. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Or die. Either way, problem solved. 
Jeremy Falcon
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Is a cat wrapped in a towel a purrito?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I thought those were called egg-rolls.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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More like a furrito.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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No further questions.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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Fried cat is called 'Bratkatze', no matter what it is wrapped in. And for a Purrito (get the trademark for this!) you will need a Tortilla.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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The cat is only wrapped in a towel after being bathed... in which case, it is a Tasmanian devil.
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When you wrap up a cat in a rug or towel, the same usually does not pur, but has made more of a "low low low" sound.
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You must be feline proud of yourself with this pun.
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Saw this[^] on Hanselman's youtube.
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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I like to eat Fritos and hot sauce while I code. No youtube needed.
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I am soooo glad I don't share a keyboard and mouse with you... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm shocked to learn that the upcoming Brexit has already caused a shortage of keyboards and mice!
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I remember a study stating that computer keyboards are generally far more dirty than toilets 
Apparently under the keys lives a whole world of his own.
You always obtain more by being rather polite and armed than polite only.
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This is why I don't eat or drink near my computer.
Coffee excepted, of course... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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