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Our department has our own physical database server, on which only our department has access.
Our department supervisor tried to run a Qlikview app that uses stored procedures, which may or may not use functions as well.
Only me and two other people have execute permissions on OUR server, and the department supervisor is not one of them.
So, I send an email to the DBA(sshole) downstairs and request that our AD group (which only includes the people in our office) be given execute permission on every database and stored proc/function.
His response: "Are you sure you want to do that?"
After another half-dozen exchanges:
Him: "Can you give me specifics? Which database stored proc/function are they trying to execute?"
Me: "Really? You want to do this one-at-a-f*ckin-time? Fine - I can play that." and I gave the db/func name, ending with "This is f*ckin absurd."
I'm sure I'm gonna get a call from HR, but these idiots are standing in the way of us doing our jobs.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Congratulations, you have received the Wally Reflector.
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And HR will say, "He said you're sick, you're obscene."
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u have ur own servers that u cant control...a pity [^]
Caveat Emptor.
"Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long
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I am that guy, except I don't care about ddl, read write, execute whatever. As long as you don't screw with anyone else's database. Or the server it self (with 1700 databases enterprise wide micro managing everyone would be impossible)
Edit, depending on the data that is contained in the database and what Audit has to say about it of coarse...
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
modified 10-Jan-18 14:42pm.
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trust issues... 
Caveat Emptor.
"Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long
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".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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It Could Be The Technology
This took me back a few years to me when we were insuring my app would only ahve ability to run SQL via Stored Procs. I was setting them individually and quickly getting tired of it.
There are other roles but db_executor is not really defined automatically and I was puzzled so I found this:
db_executor role - SQLServerCentral[^]
I had to explain the role to a DBA also. Could it be your DBA is uninformed? Very possible.
Just thought this was interesting.
Good luck.
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You don't want to be on HR's sh*t list. Once you are on that kind of list, it is difficult to get off of it.
Can you speak about this dba(sshole) to your boss?
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HR doesn't want to be on JSOP sh**tlist. The hard copies of that list are called "graveyards".
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Sadly, there is only one Chuck Norris, and John is not him. 
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Chuck Norris administers His Justice in the Heavens. On Earth the burden falls to his human counterpart, JSOP.
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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I remember when Peter Norton was a legend among legends, and Norton Utilities were a must-have in your toolkit.
I'm just setting up a new desktop (an Acer) and am cleaning out the bloatware that seems to have metastasised throughout the machine. I'm up to Norton anti-virus and on the uninstall screen is a checkbox (pre-checked) at the end of the "Are you sure you want to uninstall" dialog that looks exactly like a "I agree to the terms of use" checkbox.
Except it isn't.
It says "Get layered protection by allowing Norton Security Scan to be activated and periodically scan your computer for viruses, spyware malware and other threats".
So on the "I want to uninstall Norton Security" dialog is a pre-checked dim grey checkbox specifically asking you to allow them to install a Norton security product.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Chris Maunder wrote: Norton Utilities were a must-have in your toolkit.
Oh yes!
Chris Maunder wrote: cleaning out the bloatware
FORMAT C:
It's the only way to be sure...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: FORMAT C:
I juste tried it, and interestingly, it also remove windows.
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Does that count as another virus gone, or more bloatware? 
There are times when I think Win10 is a form of ransomware...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Another Trojan removed, methinks.
WINE is becoming good enough these days, that I can't imagine a situation in which my own money will ever pay for another copy of Windows again. When usage stats were automatically sent and the ability to forgo updates was removed, they jumped the shark. Removing Aero and also the visual cues a 3d interface provide shows they let the young kids that didn't bother with history drive the ship.
When I've gotta pay (for stuff I don't want) to play every day, they can just elephant right off. My network access is expensive (mobile broad-band). It's an added expense for the ability to use a product which delivers a diminished experience. A total no-brainer for me.
Others naturally, get far better mileage since the horror-show change of direction started with Win8.
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enhzflep wrote: WINE is becoming good enough these days
It has been for centuries! I personally enjoy few glasses of a nice Cabernet Shiraz... 
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I'm surprised it took this long for someone to come at the recursive backronym from this angle. Fun.
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Sounds like a win-win to me!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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OriginalGriff wrote:
FORMAT C:
I know, I know, and this will come back to bite me, I'm sure.
I need the machine up and running yesterday, though, so I'm taking a chance. 
cheers
Chris Maunder
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- Make a backup of the entire disk
- Clean install your O/S of choice and any desired applications (including the backup utility)
- Restore any data required from the backup
- Profit!
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I always buy a copy of windows to install onto a new laptop. Their pre-installed windows is usually polluted with crap that doesn't work all the way. I understand the reason they (the laptop manufacturers) do it, but they should also provide a restore point that allows you to eliminate the crap-ware in one fell swoop instead of forcing you to either a) delete each crap-ware package one at a time, or b) force you to do it the way I do it - with an unfettered copy of Windows (which takes a LOT less time).
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Somewhere Mr. Norton is tied up and duct taped with only the muffled "Let me go! - who are you people"
audible from him.
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