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SCRUM is like the pirate code - it’s just a set of guidelines.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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This study brought to you by Scrum Training Incorporated. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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All of the gov devs on my team had to go to a 2-day scrum master class, and now they have to go to Austin to take a scrum dev class.
Someone here has not only drank the kool-aid, they're freakin' bathing in it.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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... are the two letters I suspect @Michael-Martin would like to insert into the word "scrum". 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Richard Deeming wrote: ... are the two letters I suspect @Michael-Martin would like to insert into the word "scrum".
Outstanding.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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The only reason SCRUM came out first is because the 'ad-hoc' method wasn't included...
It would beat all of them to dust...
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge". Stephen Hawking, 1942- 2018
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What you write today in your codebase is like a letter that you address to people living in the future. "Eschew obfuscation"
Thank you Merriam Webster word of the day.
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7 words you can't say on TV?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Ha! Class Clown is a classic, one of my first records. 
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Which word was it?
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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To mark today's World Password Day, access and identity management company OneLogin has released a report that shows IT professionals at US companies waste 2.5 months a year resetting internal passwords. Because typing 'p@ssw0rd{n+1}' is hard!
Yeah, they've got something for you to buy to fix that.
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I am changing the passcode on my phone to f@*#ya.
I am wondering if the police will arrest me when I give them my passcode for abusing police officers with an obscenity! 
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That's an ad, not news. The biggest threat comes from disgrunteled former employees, not from some kid guessing a password.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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The Windows 10 Control Flow Guard security feature has been discovered to contain significant performance issues when launching large executables. Microsoft has since created a fix and it is ready to go for release in a few weeks. Fortunately, all Windows programs are tiny
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Named PoemPortraits, the web app takes a word of your suggestion and combines it with a selfie to create the eponymous poem portrait. Roses are red, violets are blue; AI can't write poetry, and neither can I
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Researchers at North Carolina State University have identified design flaws in "smart home" Internet-of-Things (IoT) devices that allow third parties to prevent devices from sharing information. Flaws in a design? Inconceivable!
The hack just needs access to your home network. Well, that should stop it. /eyeroll
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Flaws?
I start thinking these are the new features and we are the product. That would mean that their "leak" ability is working as designed.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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A new computer processor architecture developed at the University of Michigan could usher in a future where computers proactively defend against threats, rendering the current electronic security model of bugs and patches obsolete. Do not try to stop the attacks, only realize there are no attacks (or something like that)
"The chip blocks potential attacks by encrypting and randomly reshuffling key bits of its own code and data 20 times per second"
I'm sure that won't have *any* performance implications
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Twenty times per hour would probably be adequate.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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It would come as no surprise to our readers to hear that prominent Microsoft pundit Paul Thurrott is predicting the virtual end of Universal Windows Platform apps. Which probably means your manager has just decided to switch all apps over to it
It will be missed by few.
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Though I suspect he's right, I'd be interested to know his reasoning. Can you cite a source?
David A. Gray
Delivering Solutions for the Ages, One Problem at a Time
Interpreting the Fundamental Principle of Tabular Reporting
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Well, Paul Thurrott's been following the company for decades. I registered to read the full article on the site, and his arguments seem to boil down to:
Quote: Put simply, Microsoft is moving to open its previously sheltered UWP/modern Windows 10 capabilities to all developers, including those that understandably wish to ignore the lackluster Microsoft Store. And new APIs, like Windows Vision Skills, now in preview, will likewise be open from the get-go, and support all “Windows applications (.NET, Win32, and UWP).”
and the previously quoted:
Quote: From what I can see, the future of native apps on Windows has very little to do with the Microsoft Store. That said, I don’t expect the Store to disappear. I do very much expect for UWP to disappear, however, especially on the Windows desktop. And for Microsoft Store to continue to be irrelevant to most users, and to most developers.
He's also pointing out how few talks at Build seem to be aimed specifically at UWP devs:
Quote: In State of the Union: The Windows Presentation Platform, for example, you can learn how Microsoft is “evolving the Windows platform by enabling consistent desktop UI/UX across UWP, Win32, and .NET.” Which do you think is more relevant to Microsoft’s developer base?
Still, all circumstantial, but I see little need or desire to move to UWP. At least as a primary target.
TTFN - Kent
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Thanks much for the quotes.
Perhaps I should have prefaced my remarks by saying that I am very familiar with his work, and he is usually spot on with his predictions. What I really wanted from you is something along the lines of what you gave me just now.
David A. Gray
Delivering Solutions for the Ages, One Problem at a Time
Interpreting the Fundamental Principle of Tabular Reporting
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Me neither nor do I have interest in having anything to do with the Store. They are trying to apply the mobile device model to the desktop - the GUI's look and feel, how you acquire software, etc. I find it nauseating.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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UWP is the fatal flaw in Windows IoT.
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